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My first question is: Personal match.com sign you up automatically?.

My next question is: Hey Ladies and a few gents a presume,.

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I have been dating (online dating with Match.com) this guy for about 3 months. We spend a lot time together at least 3 days a week and we talk via phone 3 times a day and crackberry (text messaging) all through the day. Here in lies my dilemna, he has not attempted to take me out on a date. Everytime we see each other it's in the house. We dont have sex all the time, there are times when we just kick back, but no outside dates..

I have brung it to his attention and he repeatedly said he it will change. However, when time comes there is always a issue. Or he just acts as if he totally forget we had plans...

Is he playing games with me? Is he in it for just sex?.

I am so confused because the signals are wishwashy...

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Comments (8)

Your question was: Personal match.com sign you up automatically?.

I wouldn't say 'just' for sex - but he sure isn't treating you special. Regardless of what many may say - a man who is sincerely interested in something long term with a woman will go out of his way for her, treat her special and otherwise be deliberate and intentional that she KNOWS what his intentions are..

This guy is 'casual fun' guy.  Talking about it doesn't always cut it.  If you want more, require more.

I would keep my options open.

Toni..

Comment #1

It may not be entirely about sex, but if you want a guy who is willing to take you out, he's clearly not that guy!.

Sheri..

Comment #2

As it turns out, I am currently myself in the process of learning that sometimes we have to teach people how to treat us.  Sometimes it's worthwhile to set the standard higher and work to draw the relationship (thru Match.com) up to that higher standard.  I guess relationships sometimes take work.  So my two cents, for whatever it's worth:.

Let's assume, given the multiple phone calls, text messages, and interest directed your way that this guy likes you.  And let's guess that he thinks that you'll complain some but with just a hint of manipulation he can have his way and home you stay.  So, he likes you but he's getting his way.  I suggest that you try to get the upper hand once in awhile, and now while your relationship (thru Match.com) is still in those early months and so still rather young and fresh.  Tell him, the next time you are making plans, simple, straight, and honest, that you want to go to out.   If he hedges and tries to get you to come to his place, don't go.  If he wants to stop by your place, you won't be there.  Tell him simply that it's because you want to have a date using Match.com and it's important to you.   You're willing to go to his place or have him over to yours the next time.  But this time, this next meeting, you want a date.  And stand by your statement.   When you're done with your date, say you had a great time (assuming you did) and thank him, and then tell him that you look forward to your next date next week.   Insist upon that one too.  Teach him how to treat you..

If he runs off he's not worth it.  But if you're communicating as much as indicated in your post, I highly doubt he's running off too soon.  I think it's just a matter of getting him to hear you. ..

Comment #3

If you want to go out with him on dates then dont permit him to come over and hang out.  Tell him you want to go to a specific movie or restaurant,etc...

Comment #4

Not sure if everyone that replied can read this, I am new to the site, so bear with me.

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I agree with all you ladies. I told him that I dont think we are on the same page and that we should take some time. And I did that for two weeks I didnt call or see him. He called and text me constantly..saying that he missed me. Asked to see me and I say no. I am willing to see him, but he has to ask the right way.

Ask me out on a date.

Still no invitation and he's still calling and texting. I respond casually, or I cut the converstion short because I do want to see still what happens.....

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Should I just not respond at all... I am going to tell him the next time if he wants to see me it has to be on date using Match.com if not then I guess it was fun while it lasted...

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I like him a lot this is way I am being patient so to speak, but I don't want to be naive or settle.

Also he's 25 years old and I am 30 years of age... is this playing a big part, or it's me making an excuse. I take well to constructive critism so please be straight forward...

Thanks for you replies!.

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Comment #5

Given that you've already brought it to his attention, and he's promised to change and hasn't, I think you're wasting your time.  You're going to tell him that AGAIN?  Why?.

Sheri..

Comment #6

The age could - I suggest you tell him - one last time what you want and expect from him - to ask you on a date using Match.com and actually follow through with it - and not just one time either. Tell him you want to be dated - not hung out with..

Toni..

Comment #7

Say that you really need to see it's more than sex for him. You need him to take you out and treat you like a gentleman treats a lady.  If he objects, well, don't keep doing the house calls.

,..

Comment #8


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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