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On match.com can woman read messages for free or do they have to sign up?

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My first question is: On match.com can woman read messages for free or do they have to sign up?.

My next question is: So..I have been dating (online dating with Match.com) a man since oct 2007, he lives in ND and in the Air Force and I live in St. Louis, MO. Everything has been great but lately I feel as if things have completely changed and he doesn't do things like he used to like calling and emailing. I just started my internship at DCFS and there is a co-worker that I have clicked with a lot and now I am wondering if my current relationship (thru Match.com) is worth trying to make it work. I don't want to do anything quick but I just feel like I have lost a ton of interest and I am just not sure what to do..can anyone give me some suggestions. Is this feeling normal?.

Thanks!!!!!..

Comments (11)

Your question was: On match.com can woman read messages for free or do they have to sign up?.

Relax and take time to think about it.  What's the rush?..

Comment #1

If you think he's a waste of time then you know what to do.  If you don't know what to do, then that means you need to take time to think more.  If you want to go out with the co-worker and not "cheat" on the Airforce dude, then you know what to do also.....

Comment #2

Blairbear89, your right. I guess I have just been going back and forth for so long in my head I am just not sure what to do..I think I should end it..but then I start thinking well maybe this change in my relationship (thru Match.com) is just a phase. So, I am just not sure if I am making the right decision or not. do you think that this whole lack of communication maybe be a phase or a precursor to a failing relationship?..

Comment #3

Wow, big question! lol  Well, I think all my posts I say "personally..." bec I can only speak from my own experience which doesn't mean you should do this or that bec no one will fully know the situation even if we type out pages and pages explaining it all.. So having said that, I will tell you that I tend to go with what's in my heart and my gut.. I guess, instincts.  I know your confused.. and I've been in similar situations where I was confused and then I made the decision and then was like, oh, was that a mistake?  But to me, again, *personally*, to me, if I was questioning it.. if I was doubting it.. if I was confused to the point that I made the decision to do whatever, that means it wasn't meant to be and so I have no regrets..

For example, right now, I'm really into this guy, but he is a jerk and half!  It's hard to not talk to him, but I know I deserve better.  Now, these are conflicting things for me bec I like him so much and I *want* to talk to him, but know I shouldn't.  My gut is telling me it's just not right, so that's what I'm going with.   I dunno.. hope this helps somehow....

 ..

Comment #4

I know what you are saying lol. I think all I can do really right now is talk to my boyfriend currently and see what's up and go from there I guess and if things go south things go south. but thanks for your help really...

Comment #5

Have you thought of telling your BF how you feel about his lack of attention?..

Comment #6

<< do you think that this whole lack of communication maybe be a phase or a precursor to a failing relationship?  >>.

I think that relationships are work ... we all know that, right?   That said, compound the 'work' of a relationship (thru Match.com) x 2 (or more!) if you want to make a LDR work.   Communication, trust, everything are HARDER when you're not there to interact in each others lives.  .

"Begin with the end in mind" is one of my fav sayings to live by.   Going into a relationship (thru Match.com) that is long distance, you have to realize that, at some point or another ... one of you is going to have to move ... plus, he's in the air force, so his location isn't permanent anyway ... he already doesn't have roots ... so, more than likely, it would be you who has to sacrifice in order to make this WORK for the long-haul..

Now, of course, the challenge is ... how do you really "date" and get to know someone THAT well ... well enough to uproot your life ... when it's long distance?   You can't.  Fundamentally, it's impossible to date using Match.com long distance ... because dating (online dating with Match.com) requires interaction.    There's no amount of phone calls or emails that can substitute for real life interaction.  .

I think if these problems exist this early in a relationship (thru Match.com) that ... it's not going to get better.  This is the time when things are easier ... the honeymoon, infatuation stage ... if you're already having communication problems then ... I'd say, move on.    Particularly because it's long distance ... so you are going to have other obstacles to overcome if this relationship (thru Match.com) stands any chance for the long run..

 ..

Comment #7

"Begin with the end in mind" is one of my fav sayings to live by. .

I like that starbuck70. ..

Comment #8

Yeah we talked about it and we decided that a break would be the best for the relationship (thru Match.com) to see if this is what we really want. He agreed with us being on two different pages and stuff. So, we'll see...

Comment #9

I totally see what you are saying and I wouldn't mind moving but I right now I am unable to move because I am graduating in May from College. So for Graduate school I could go up there but I told him I would not uproot my life unless there was a ring involved because my life is in Illinois. The thing is that I have known this man for 5 years previously as a friend before even getting involved with him and I knew he was was living in ND. So, for right now we are taking a break to see if this is what we both really want to do. Trust is not a problem. I just don't know since we are totally beyond the infatuation stage and the "honeymoon" stage if this still can stand a chance.

So, I am sure that doesn't really help things at all. But right now it's all I can do besides email and phone calls. Sorry for the ramble!!..

Comment #10

<<  "Begin with the end in mind" is one of my fav sayings to live by. .

I like that starbuck70.   >>.

I'll give credit where credit's due ... it's actually one of Stephen Covey's "7 Habits of Highly Effective People".  ..

Comment #11


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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