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Older woman, younger man

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HelloThis is the first time I've ever posted or participated in this discussion. My question is and hopefully there are plenty of other woman out there in my same situation. I'm currently in a relationship (thru Match.com) with a man who is 14 years younger than I am. He pursued me, while we were both married, we started seeing each other and we fell in love, divorced our mates and now we live together. I'm way insecure although he tells me that he thinks I look fantastic for 51 and is totally in love with me. He's not given me any reason to doubt it, he's never cheated on me.

He's taken me back east to meet his family and they didn't have any idea how old I was until we told them. Some times when we're out though, I find that it seems like he is checking out younger women but he says it's rare to see a woman my age, who has the looks and the body and the clothes to match and if he's "looking" at these younger women, it's because he likes what they wear and would like to see me in whatever it is he admires. He does buy a lot of clothes, jewelry, etc. for me and it's usually something that he's noticed on a younger woman. He did divorce his wife for me and I should be happy in knowing that if he did desire a younger woman that he certainly didn't have to pursue me.Any advice or words of wisdom from others would be appreciated!..

Comments (4)

Your question was: Older woman, younger man.

You're happy that you're with a cheater? You don't see the bigger picture do you?...What goes around comes around. He left his wife for you, look for him to do the same thing to you. Never do people wrong, it always comes right back to you. No advice, just remember that when it happens to you..

Edited 7/17/2007 11:40 am ET by ivil_mami25..

Comment #1

Before you judge me you'd have to know the whole story. The same could be said that he stole me from my husband. Obviously our respective mates weren't satisfying our emotional needs, otherwise we would've not become involved with another person.I didn't steal him, he came willingly...

Comment #2

You know he lived with a physically/verbally abusive woman who was arrested and spent some time in a jail cell. He's a good man who deserved a better life and I intend to provide that for him.I'd like to know if the tables were turned and he was the one providing the abuse would you encourage her to stay and work it out?Again don't judge until you walk in another's shoes!..

Comment #3

Your concern is about him is this: "I find that it seems like he is checking out younger women but he says it's rare to see a woman my age, who has the looks and the body and the clothes to match and if he's "looking" at these younger women, it's because he likes what they wear and would like to see me in whatever it is he admires."The odds are that if ANY man is going to look at another woman it will be a woman who is younger than his wife. So you are not alone regardless of age difference. As far as mami25's response to your post...she is not entirely wrong. I know we dont' know the particulars of your previous marriage and his previous marriage. Sometimes a spouse has an affair during one marriage and then never cheats again with any other spouse. Sometimes a spouse is a chronic cheater regardless of who he or she is married to.

I have never met a couple who were the product of an affair who married and stayed happily married. So there is something to mami25's response...

Comment #4


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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