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New Guy... Advice Needed!!!

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This past weekend an old friend of mine that I knew when I was a freshman in college came to visit with a friend and stayed at my house.  We both have just graduated (and also lost touch throughout college)- so we hadn't seen each other in almost 4 years. .

Before he came to visit, he was telling me how much he liked me and never had the guts to tell me.  I told him that I felt the same way.  He said that he has always been self-conscious and never thought "a girl like me" would ever want to date using Match.com him. .

We don't live too far from each other (maybe about an hour), so us being able to see one another wouldn't be too hard.  He was so great when he was here- lots of fun, and a complete gentleman.  The three of us (him & his friend) went out both nights, but it was a little awkward being a group of three. .

The last night the three of us went out for drinks, and I noticed that he kept mentioning girls who he knew- and even said to his friend something about sleeping with some girl.  I pretended I didn't hear them because it was really awkward! He's  always been self-conscious- could he have been talking about that stuff to make him seem "cool" in front of his friend and I?.

I noticed that  when he's drinking he's WAY more social and seems more into me.  When he wasn't drinking (they came for a college football weekend- so that's a big thing to do on the weekend here), he was pretty reserved and seemed almost nervous and shy around me.  Anyway, last night he kept trying to hold my hand, had his arm around me, and all of that.  When his friend went to bed, he came into my room and laid down and said he just wanted to talk.  I was exhausted so I ended up falling asleep on and off, but he just kept talking and kept grabbing my hand and kept trying to tickle me.  I think he definitely was trying something, but it was really awkward b/c his friend was sleeping on the couch right outside my room.  I didn't tell him that- but I did kind of try and distance myself a little bit from him because I myself would feel creeped out if my friend was hooking up with someone while I was in a close vicinity!  We ended up just talking (nothing at all happened), and once I fell asleep he went back out to the couch with his friend.  I feel kind of bad because I feel like I denied him and maybe he thinks I'm not into him.   .

I really feel like I'm in high school asking this question- but I haven't really dated.  I ended a very long relationship (thru Match.com) about a year ago- and haven't had a relationship (thru Match.com) since.  I've dated, but nothing worth mentioning. .

I am so into him- we have SO much in common and he's just a really good guy.  I can't tell if he's into me or not based on the hot and cold signals he's been giving me. .

He did ask me to come stay with him next weekend because there's some big thing going on with his friends.  Since he told me that he never would think a girl "like me" would go for a guy "like him," do you think it's on me to tell him that I like him?  Should I wait?  Do I tell him that I am into him and I didn't mean to blow him off the other night?.

Thanks in advance for the help!.

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Comments (4)

Your question was: New Guy... Advice Needed!!!.

When  some shy guys try to impress a woman it usually goes sour.  They tend to come off as boorish and obnoxious instead of confident and sexy.  So when your friend started to talk about a woman he slept with...he was attempting to show you that he is a man of the world and instead he made you feel ill at ease thinking his behavior was inappropriate..

You can tell him that you are into him too and if he ever wanted to date using Match.com that you would be open to it..

Maybe he was trying to get a little frisky with you that night but I'm sure he sensed that you were tired and that is all you have to say...that you wished you had the energy to stay up and talk more that night but you were just beat. .

If you do go to stay with him that weekend he may try to get a little intimate with you again. So...be sure you are ready for his approach..

Good luck...

Comment #1

Hi - I think there's no reason to rush into having sex with him, so you probably made a good move not to.

If a guy really likes you, he'll wait and get to know you. If you jump right into bed with him, he'll think you'd do it with anyone..

Comment #2

He definitely sounds like he's into you. I don't love that he talked about a girl he slept with, but yeah, it could have been to impress you..

There should be a conversation before you go up there... so it's not as awkward and you both know where the other stands.  You can say you did enjoy holding each other in bed but it felt awkward with his friend in the next room - a bit about how great it is to be in touch again... hopefully that will start a conversation to get some clarity going and clear up misconceptions.

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Comment #3

I agree- no need to rush into sex until it really feels right for you!.

,..

Comment #4


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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