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My ex is back, and I am confused

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Ok, My ex, and first love came back into my life briefly last summer, but we ended contact because his girlfriend (and mother of his child) asked him to, and I respected that.Now they have broken up, and he and I have begun to talk some. Our first phone conversation was 3 hours long. It was really great catching up with him, and I am glad that I can help him through this break up. He doesn't really have many friends anymore, and she owned all the furniture, so he is having a tough time. The thing is, I never really got over him, because he was my first love, and now he is back in my life. I am confused because I can't tell if I am feeling the way I do because it is residual from the last time we dated (a LLOOOONNNGGG time ago) or if I am becoming interested in him as this new person. Also, should I even be thinking about him like that? I mean, I want to be his friend, my my brain keeps going to something more...HELP!..

Comments (4)

Your question was: My ex is back, and I am confused.

Honey, you're his rebound. He's not yet out of his relationship (thru Match.com) and he's already contacting you, for more romance or just friendship? He's not emotionally healthy to be involved with you OR any woman for that matter. He's probably looking for something his marriage lacked of, in you. If you want to try one more time, give him time to get over his break up. Get to know him better and see if he's changed. Time doesn't guarrantee that people change. You broke it up the first time for a reason...

Comment #1

It is understandable that contact with an ex could stir up old feelings. However, you have indicated that this ex was from a long time ago. It is very possible he has changed over the years and he is not the same person who you once loved.If you cannot tell by a telephone conversation or two if he has changed and has grown into a person who you would not date using Match.com if you met him today...then you might want to see him and experience what it feels like to be around him again. He is going through a tough time right now and it is not your job to help him with his breakup..that is a job for a shrink.Maybe he never got over you either or he could be on the rebound. One thing is for sure; you are relating to each other based on previous history when you both have experienced events in your individual lives that could have changed both of you.Forget about being his friend. You are his ex and still have feelings for him, so dont pretend otherwise.

Be honest with yourself. There is no shame in having feelings for someone and wanting to possibly reconcile...

Comment #2

The thing is, He is more now like a person I would think about dating. The first time around it was physical attraction that turned into a relationship. This time, since I haven't physically seen him in awhile, all I have to go by are our conversations. He isn't a totally different person, but he has grown up at lot. I also believe that ex's can be friends; what I am trying to figure out is if I am just feeling friendship to a guy I used to know romantically, or if I am feeling romantic to a friend...

Comment #3

That good news for the both of you then...he has grown and changed into someone who interests you more now. That is if you are interested in dating (online dating with Match.com) him.I dont believe that exes can be "just" friends, nor do I feel it is healthy to have that relationship (thru Match.com) if one is trying to move on and date using Match.com others successfully. It can impede the closeness that a new guy would want with a woman who has close ties to her ex. But that is just MHO. "what I am trying to figure out is if I am just feeling friendship to a guy I used to know romantically, or if I am feeling romantic to a friend." > only you know the answer to that.Good luck!!..

Comment #4


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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