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My first question is:

My next question is: I am 44 and single.  I have not dated in 4-1/2 years so I am making the attempt to get back in the saddle again.  My dilemma is that there is an appealing man that I see at my Sons daycare.  He drops off his two sons and I have observed that he interacts well with his boys.  We pass each other in the daycares hallway at least 3 times a week and either say Hi, Good Morning or Have a Good Day but that is about all.  He does not wear a wedding ring and the eye contact between us both is always there.  I would like to see if he is single and would like to start a conversation but because of my shy and old fashioned nature, I have been unable to.  How do I go about this without seeming desperate or totally embarrassing myself?  Any suggestions would be appreciated.  Thanks!..

Comments (7)

Your question was:

Why not start a conversation about his sons - have they had interactions with Sam? Pretend for a moment it's a woman who has sons, would there be angst about making simple conversation? Men love to talk about themselves - their children are an extension of that. So use the commonality of both having sons to start a casual chat.


Comment #1

Don't come on too strong... men like to be the pursuers... you don't want to scare him off.  It think if he is truly interested in you, he will inititate a conversation with you.  Men like the chase... I wouldn't make the first move if it was me.  Maybe just smile and walk by... a nice hello but that's it..

Just my opinion...

Comment #2

 One of the BEST things to talk about, like Sherry said, is to talk about the OTHER person. I'm telling you... it's the BEST way.

 So since you've noticed that this guy is 'good' with his boys, TELL him you've noticed that and that you're "CURIOUS" how this came about..

 Let's say you are about to walk past him again, make eye contact and say, "Hey. I know you're heading the other way, but I've noticed something about you that makes me curious."  I'm sure he'll want to hear all about what you've noticed about him. .

 Then tell describe to him WHAT you've noticed and ASK, "What's your secret?" or whatever question that you are GENUINELY curious about.

 I've studied dating (online dating with for years. So I've learned and APPLIED some simple yet VERY effective ways to 'connect' with people, that has enabled me to communicate with not only women, but with PEOPLE in general. The *SECRET*(for me), is that I go in with a 'curious' mentality, and DETACH myself from ANY outcome..

 So if you go into this conversation with ANY thought of him being a 'potential lover, b/f, husband, etc.', you're more likely to (unconsciously) SABOTAGE the interaction. So go in with NO motive, other than to LEARN something about him AND his kids.


 What's your thoughts, Shells?.



Comment #3

You can make a casual comment - ask a question , or mention something you have in common - nothing serious just quick and fun.


Comment #4

Hi shells_utopia777, Interesting because I am in the exact same position. I go to Starbucks every morning on the way to work and there is a very handsome man I see most of the time and he does not wear a wedding ring. I feel attracted to him, we do make eye contact and say hi to each other. Because I am attracted to him I am afraid to talk to him, sometimes when I say hi my voice is very low. I have seen him many times to where he could have approached me by now if he was interested. I prayed about it and told myself I need to get over him, and if it is meant to be he will come around and approach me.

Many many years ago I have pursued some men, felt as though they were not as interested in me as I was in them, and I really don't want to go this route again. I read the book "He's not into you" and from what the author said, when a guy is interested he will make it know. I wish you well. Let us know what you decide to do..



Comment #5

You have a very interesting suggestion how I should begin a conversation with a man.  I most certainly will try it and perhaps I will practice with a random person that I may run across in my day-to-day activities such as riding the elevator..


I may however, have missed this opportunity since I hardly ever see him anymore while dropping the kids off at daycare.  I have figured that either he takes his boys to another daycare, is on a extended vacation or has changed his work hours.  None-the-less, if it were meant to be, then it would be.  There are more fish out in the seasome maybe not as appealing to my eye than Mr. McDreamy-Dad, but it is what is on the inside that counts more than the physical appearance. .


Thanks for your input!.




Comment #6

 You're very welcome!  I want to add this little bit just to EMPHASIZE it's importance. Smiling is one of THE biggest indicators that you're fun AND approachable. So walking around with a smile on your face, makes you VERY approachable and attractive. It's the kind of smile where you just heard some 'juicy' gossip about somebody, or the kind of smile that you get when a friend tells you that she heard some information that the really cute you like, really likes you. It's not so much an 'open mouth' smile, but a smile that says you're up to no good. A smirk..

 Smile lots and hold eye contact are the BIGGEST indicators that you're interested in somebody. If guys don't pick up on these 'indicators', I would bet that they're not very good lovers AND they're probably not very good with women. Guys that are great with women KNOW these indicators and will react almost instantly to them..

 Just thought I'd add a bit more for ya.

 Have fun!!.



Comment #7

This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.


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