Yes or No?

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My first question is: Yes or No?.

My next question is: I have been dating (online dating with a wonderful man for about 4 months now, and am very interested in sleeping with him.  He has told me about his past (one night stands, she has contracted HPV, etc., he's a musician, what can I say...) and I have told him about my past (I have never had sex before because of a very painful event that happened long ago).  He says he would like to have sex, but he doesn't want to hurt me (physically).  I don't know if he is trying to be kind and supportive or if he just doesn't want to sleep with me.  Thoughts???????.


Comments (5)

Your question was: Yes or No?.

Hi Laurenosaurus,.

Welcome to the board!!.

Try not to be frustrated.  It's hard not to over think things!!  Sounds like your man is a really nice man.  Talk to him.  I think this is t he only way to resolve this..

Good Luck,.




Comment #1

Thank you so much for the warm welcome! .

And yes, he is a WONDERFUL man.  I have been very fortunate to have found him and the fact that I haven't run in the other direction yet is quite an accomplishment....I'm not the best at relationships or commitment and he has been so incredibly patient with me.  I have spoken to him about my concerns, but he keeps dismissing them saying that he just doesn't want it to be a painful experience and that we don't have to worry about it just yet.  The things is, it's starting to wear on my self-confidence.  I'm beginning to feel like I'm unattractive.  I've told him this as well and he just tells me I'm crazy and that I'm gorgeous, and blah, blah, blah.  I guess I'll just have to wait it out and see...

Comment #2

Since this is all new to you...may I suggest that you dont overcommunicate your thoughts and feelings to him.  If you can talk to your girlfriends or a family member or even a doctor (gyno) to reassure yourself that things will be okay for that encounter...then do it that way. .

I know that women think that they should be able to say anything to their SO because...they are the SO.  But the *reality* is...too much info about certain things can spoil the tempo and excitement of a relationship (thru if it is repeated over and over...

Comment #3



Defintely a difficult question.  I think you should find out as much about his HPV as possible and about HPV.  Men who have HPV probably have genital warts...they dont have the same screen ing as us women.  women find out the have 1 of over 30 strains usualy by finding warts or through reg. check ups.  Some are cancer causing (cervical) and some strains are harmless.   Pap test are important.  With that said 80% of warts clear up on their own BUT it can take 18 months and some do not ever clear up and need to be burned off..

If you're going to sleep with him rememeber that he has it and you can get it by fooling around skin to skin.  It's a bit of a risk assesment of your relationship (thru really.  Warts cause more emotional pain then anything.  Make a sound call on the merit of your relationship (thru and what having warts would do to you if the relationship (thru ended..


All my best-Azia.

Ps I have a post up if you have time I could use some imput.  Thanks!..

Comment #4

Sounds like he's looking out for you.  Be careful - HPV is not fun!.


Comment #5

This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.


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