winks question and another related question?

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My first question is: winks question and another related question?.

My next question is: Since I've lost 30 pounds I have gotten more confidence with myself. So, I've been flirting well, only with the guys that catches my eye. But still, sometimes I'm not so sure. Anyways, the thing is there's this guy on the GYM and I noticed like 3 weeks ago he was looking a lot to me and all that. I gotta admit, sometimes I'm pretty scared of hot guys because I feel like their gonna reject me or something it has happened before. Two weeks later, I decided that when he looks at me I will smile.

Then I noticed that he was just like following me and all that of course, his excuse was that he was gonna do this and that exercise. The thing is that one day I just like talked to him well, I commented on how hard was to lift that weight. And he just started talking to me and asked me all these questions like: "what do you study?" "what do you like to do for fun?", etc. And since that day we have started talking, but just small talks because both of us are pretty concentrated on the workouts especially me.The thing is that today we were talking and then came to the conversation that both of us does not have too much people to hang out with and all that. I told him: "well, you can contact me through telepathies in times that you want to hang out".

And he asked me my phone number.Basically, I just like handed him an excuse so that he could ask me my phone number. Right? I just like drove him to do what I wanted him to do. What I did was ok? I mean, I really like the guy. He's hot, has a good physique, seems to be as tranquil as I am, and like Law. But he is 9 years older than me so that maybe he's not into "South Park" and other cool stuff I like.I don't know but in some way I feel like I'm gonna scare him off or something..

Comments (7)

Your question was: winks question and another related question?.

I don't see anything wrong with what you did...hopefully it will work out for you, if it doesn't don't let that stop you from trying again with someone else...

Your physical appearance  might attract someone at first BUT one of the most attractive things about a male/female is the confidence they have in themselves, so you can lose all the weight you want but when it comes down to it that is not going to keep someone interested.  Work on your confidence and self esteem just as hard as you are working on your physical appearance...

Comment #1

What you did was offer him 'bait' and yes, it's perfectly fine. You've done your part.  Now it's his option to call or not call.  that's his part.

Hon, be yourself - he may be hot and you may converse well at the gym but you really don't know him that well.  Gyms are notorious for men looking for vulnerable and/or insecure women. Keep in that in mind and keep yourself grounded - you are making him 'bigger' in your mind that he may be.  .


Comment #2

You go girl!  Very nicely executed & I hope that he calls you.  Just stay confident and friendly and next time you see him act like you did the last time you saw him, the way that prompted him to ask for your phone number.  Ditch the concerns, insecurities, and fear that your interests are different.   Definitely don't talk to him about the negatives.  One or two properly timed and honestly stated compliments will go a lot farther than telling him for example "I'm not sure we're compatible."  Just have fun getting to know him. .

And keep on flirting with the guys that catch your eye.   Because, by the way, I wouldn't be surprised if this guy's attraction to you has more to do with the the combination of increased confidence and healthy lifestyle than the weight loss.  So keep the attitude, stay healthy, and stop worrying so much about weight.  ..

Comment #3

Hi Lilac01,.

Welcome to the board!!.

You didn't do anything wrong at all.  So now just relax and be yourself and most of all have some fun!!!!.

Good Luck,.



Comment #4

Yes the one it's most important to build a good relationship (thru with is yourself. When you feel good about yourself it radiates outward.


Comment #5

After 4 days of waiting, the guy just called. Well, after three days of me giving him my phone number I saw him at the GYM but we really didn't talk because he was talking to some friends of his, and so was I chatting with some friends of mine. We talk for 45 minutes, something I don't normally do because I hate talking too much on the phone. In someway, I feel satisfied because of him calling me. I learned a bit more about him, like the fact he's color blind (specifically, he has problem with color green and red) and that everyday he goes to his mom's house to eat (this is something that in someway I don't like because he seems to be pretty dependent, and he's 30). But, I feel like he just call me because was bored well, he was on his way home.

He seems to be a home loving person, just like me, and that's what I like about him. Also, we have sort of the same ambitions, like going to Law School.The reason why I'm writing right know is because I am in need of dating (online dating with advices. I mean, I've never been in a relationship (thru and never been kissed. I know nothing of any of this dating (online dating with stuff. I don't really know if I'm in love right know because everything feels like so normal, in someway.

And those words have remained as an interrogation ever since...So, any advice or comment you want to share with me? I would be pleased if you do so because I don't have anyone to talk to. Thanks. ^_^..

Comment #6

Yes just go on living your life, being around people who make you feel fabulous about yourself - he's just another guy. And the next move - if it comes - is his. If not, there'll be another guy round the bend.


Comment #7

This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.


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