Your question was: Match.com Users: If you wink at a guy and he winks back, could there be a possibility that he's inte.
Hello! My other screen name is Laurenosaurus, but I'm using this one because I like it better. .
First off, thanks for the advice on my postvery helpful. Secondly, in response to your post "On the Rebound?", I would definitely have to say be careful. It seems that he does in fact like you very much and is interested in becoming more than just friends, but he also might be speeding up the process by pursuing you as hard as he has been because he is looking for something to heal his wounds from his previous breakup. I know this is hard to hear, but I have been in the same situation, and let me tell you, after I let myself believe that I was not a rebound and he just had always wanted me....he went back to his girlfriend 3 months later. You should also most definitely talk to him about your concerns. It is so much better to be direct than to act breezy and then inevitably get hurt. .
Hope this helps!.
Welcome to the board!!.
I think you should trust your judgement. Sounds like you have a pretty good handle on all of this. He was only dating this girl for 6 months. To some of us that is a long time and for some it's not at all. Talk to him when the opportunity is right. I also think it's okay to go as slow as you want..
<< Do I ask him if this is just a rebound thing??? >>.
That's one of those types of questions that really doesn't have a good answer. If he says 'yes' then ... well, your hopes are dashed ... but, at least he was honest! But, in all likelihood ... that isn' t the answer you'd get. If he says 'no' ... that most likely just means, I don't know..
Because, frankly, if his break up is only a couple weeks ago ... he probably doesn't really know if it would be a rebound or not. So, if he says 'no' ... he will most likely only end up looking insincere. So, if you do ask, the best answer you could hope for, honestly, is "I don't know.".
Which, full circle, doens't leave you with any answers, right? Right..
So, I say no ... don't ask. Just look at his actions and base your decision on that.
You've only been out once on what seemed like a 'date' ... and it seems that he is pursuing you ... so, if this happens again, take your friend's suggestion but leave out the part about asking if you're a rebound. Instead, say something like "I'd like for us to date, but ... I just want to make sure that you're ready to date" ... leave the word 'rebound' out of it ... it's just 'ick' and cliche ... gauge his response to your asking him about being ready to date using Match.com ...
That you'd just rather be sure that he's ready to move on..
All things considered, 6 months is not that invested of a relationship (thru Match.com) ... in other words, there's not that much to 'rebound' from ... so, I wouldn't sweat it. ..
The other posters gave good advice. I like starbuck's suggestion of "I'd like for us to date, but ... I just want to make sure that you're ready to date" ...because that does address the fact that he just broke up with someone and it also voices your concern that he needs to deal with the grief (if that applies) or the aftermath of a breakup...
Thanks for your response I think it's the best advice. .
Do you think I should see if he wants to get together again in a week or should I leave it all to him? On one hand my friends say leave it to him so you know he's genuine, but he did say he liked me and I don't think he's mean enough to lie just to have a rebound...so it might seem like i'm not interested or playing games with him if I don't try to hang out with him..
<< Do you think I should see if he wants to get together again in a week or should I leave it all to him? >>.
No, I'd agree with your friends. Leave it to him. Otherwise, it could like you're 'pushing' to date using Match.com him ... even if that isn't your intention. Remember, patience IS a virtue. It isn't like he doesn't know where to find you ... you see him at work, right?!.
<< so it might seem like i'm not interested or playing games with him if I don't try to hang out with him. >>.
Just be yourself. Again, you see him at work ... you hang out there ... he has ample oppt'y to ask you out ... if he broaches the subject of dating (online dating with Match.com) you, then ... try what I suggested before ... he might be trying to gauge your interest still. ..
I think it's normal for you to be concerned about being the "rebound girl", but you say that it feels natural and comfortable when you're with him. Rebound, from my experience, may be natural, but it doesn't stay comfortable for very long. Like the others have said, I think you definitely need to acknowledge that he just got out of a relationship. Don't act like you still think he belongs to the ex, but it is a fact that she hasn't been an ex for very long. That being said, (and granted things still feel comfortable when you're with him) I don't think you should spend too much time obsessing about this. If you're anxious about whether he really likes you, then he's going to pick up on that, which could ruin what could become a good thing.
We're always glad to have you - whichever name you choose!! :0).
She just ended things a week ago and dented his ego to boot. I would definitely talk to him - tell him that while you like him alot you don't want to be the rebound girl so for now it's best to take things slow and be friends.