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Match.com tips for girls?

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My question is: Match.com tips for girls?.

My 2nd question is: My last relationship (thru Match.com) was a very "young" relationship (thru Match.com) and we were not really connected.  We were together for four years but we lived very separate lives.  We BOTH cheated on each other.  My now boyfriend who I love with all of my heart knows that we ended because it was a horrible relationship (thru Match.com) and he cheated on me but I did not tell him that I too cheated.  My now boyfriend has been cheated on and is VERY cautious and I hate to cause him to worry when there is nothing for him to worry about.  Do I have to tell him that I cheated?  Is it his business?  What makes it keeping a secret or letting go of the past?.

Please help,.

Confused..

Comments (9)

I would not say anything to your current BF about this issue.  It is something from your past relationship.  You do not need to bring the baggage from your past to your present.  Your current boyfriend has nothing to do with what happened with you XBF..

It would only bring hurt and pain to your current relationship (thru Match.com) leave it in the past.  I am sure the other posters here will have more solid sound advice as I found they are very helpful and offer very honest words.  Take the time to read what they say and think before you speak. .

Once you put the words out there you can not take them back you can not erase them from someone's mind or memory so please think real careful before you say anything..

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Comment #1

Thank you so very much, I truly appreciate your thoughts!!..

Comment #2

<< Do I have to tell him that I cheated?  Is it his business?  What makes it keeping a secret or letting go of the past? >>.

No, no, and no..

Here's the litmus test on whether or not something from the past need be discussed to your current SO ... and that is, ask yourself "does the past incident have a direct bearing on the present or future?".

If the answer is no, then ... there's no need to bring it up.  ..

Comment #3

I would say it is best that you dont discuss your past with him because it has nothing to do with your current relationship..

The only thing that could interfere with that is if anyone in your life knows about what you did like a relative or friend or coworker.  If that is the case, then it would be wise to discuss it with him.  You dont want to have someone else tell him then he'll not trust you at all.  If you have to tell him dont provide too many details and just say it, and move on...

Comment #4

Thank you very much, I do feel the same way but always feared that it is hiding it.  It is good to hear other people confirming what I believe!..

Comment #5

Thank you I appreciate you taking the time to help.  I have always thought the same and just feared I was convincing myself otherwise... but it is always good to have confirmation from outsiders...

Comment #6

Hi starrynight.

Welcome to the board!!!.

I know honesty is very very important in a relationship.  So I think that if your intentions with this man are honnorable, than it is okay to leave the past in the past..

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Comment #7

Thank you, I think that is wonderful insight and runs so true to my heart!! ..

Comment #8

I dont think you necessarily need to tell but it sounds like it is weighing very heavy on your mind.  Did you cheat after your then boyfriend cheated? That might make it easier to take for your boyfriend to hear if you do feel like you must tell him..

,..

Comment #9


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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