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Match.com stalker... help!?

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My first question is: Match.com stalker... help!?.

My next question is: I wanted to get some opinions on whether or not people on here think a girl should ask a guy out. I just recently asked a guy out (successfully) and was curious to see if other girls have ever done so or if they even think it's a good idea! Your thoughts?..

Comments (10)

Your question was: Match.com stalker... help!?.

I think it is a great thing and more women should do it more often...

Comment #1

That's fine, but I wouldnt get in a trend with a person, otherwise you will be doing the asking the whole time.  that would be a nightmare to me, personally...

Comment #2

I've always been very forward about liking/wanting to date using Match.com a guy, and it's always been very successful I have usually dated relatively shy, relatively inexperienced men who appreciated not having to guess or play games. Confidence is attractive, if you're confident and assertive with your interest then I think the right guy will really respect it and feel relieved you're not playing hard to get...

Comment #3

It really depends on the guy. Some guys respond very well to being asked out.  I have usually played the middle ground - letting a guy know that I'm attracted to him but without asking him out. Reason being..a number of men I have known tend to be more drawn to a woman who they ask out versus the other way around. somehow, they value more what they pursue.  There really is no right or wrong - more of an individual thing...

Comment #4

Absolutely - it's good to be confident enough to take the initiative..

,..

Comment #5

While I've never done it (and don't ever intend to), I think it's great that many women do it successfully - taking the bull by the horns, so to speak..

Someone mentioned confidence in women. My not doing it has nothing to do with lack of confidence; I've just never liked a guy first. I've never met anyone whom I liked so much that I wanted to ask him out. I've only had 2 real relationships, including the one I'm in now and they both pursued me..

CL - Women of Color  ..

Comment #6

I thinks times have changed so much and you seen someone you were intersted in and went for it. I say go for it...

Comment #7

Thanks for all the replies! What do you think about a friend that tells you that if the guy was interested he would have asked you out first? This was something somebody said to me after I told them that the guy had said yes to hanging out and it was a male friend. Seems a little off since the guy said yes doesn't it? Has anybody else ever asked somebody out then had this reaction from friends?..

Comment #8

There's a point where your just overanalyzing and overthinking when really what you should be doing *is whatever the hell you want* and *whatever will make you happy*.  I've never asked a guy out, but I've given my number without them asking just because I was impatient and I needed to get going.   But I wouldnt rule out asking a guy out if I felt like. .

Basically it boils down to I'm going to do what I want.  If I like x person enough to ask him out, I will.  If he doesnt respond, for one, obv it's his loss.  But second, really, who cares?  It's not a big deal.  Even if you are the type to be embarassed by rejection (Im not), it's not like it's broadcast on CNN....

Comment #9

I think your friend's motivation is somewhere between well-intentioned and judgmental.  Mixing a message of "be wary" with "that's not something I would do."  Both points are fair to her; it's not something she would do and it's always good to be careful.  The point's just aren't necessarily fair to you.  If you're a strong & confident, the right guy for you is going to be someone who appreciates your strength & confidence (finds it sexy even).  That kind of guy may like that you asked him out. .

I understand that there's a time-honored philosophy of dating (online dating with Match.com) that if a man is interested, he'll make the first move and that some men even prefer the chase.  I think there's some truth in this philosophy.  But, lucky for me, I ignored here here & again.  LOL!  I have had only lukewarm interest in the ones who asked me out and, not wanting to settle for lukewarm attraction, I have taken the initiative with men I find particularly intriguing and I've had some great dates.  So I say "go for it!".  And tell your friend that you appreciate her concern, but the invite has already been made and accepted and now it's a matter of what to wear..

Have fun!.

Kiera. .

 .

 ..

Comment #10


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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