Your question was: Match.com question re: email read notification?.
I remember once upon a time women would say "it is just as easy to love a rich man as a poor man" and the all time favorite "you can never be too thin." Neither are true, IMO. .
I say that as long as the two of you have a common ground then it should work for a little while. By that I mean either love or convenience or some sort of arrangement that benefits both of you. In your case you like wealth and famous and he might like young and pretty. As long as you both feel you are getting something out of it and that "it" works both ways...then it is a fit for a while. The only drawback I see to your arrangement is that one day that man is going to want the woman he spends time with to love him...not his assets and not get an ego boost (or a false bravado) from what HE has accomplished - it eventually spells "parasite" to those types of men. .
When you say you like being "the young one"...what does that mean exactly? Young in comparison to him?.
I think it is very sweet that he took the time to nurse you back to health. He might actually have loving feelings for you. If you feel you could actually grow to love this guy...then you might break that cycle of the jaded man wanting love later in life and dumping the materialistic trophy wife. Real love shouldnt fade...it does evolve some over time. However love is not enough sometimes to battle certain problems...like money, illness, interfering relatives or friends, children from previous marriages...so I do agree with you there..
The only question that would not be able to answered at this time is: how will you feel as he ages and you are still young and firm? At 45 he is probably still in shape and looks good. Once he gets into his 50s and 60s and starts to lose hair , develops a belly and breasts, and starts to lose that firmness in his jaw...are you still going to find him attractive? Some people age well and some people do not..
I dont feel you should take advantage of anyone...rich or not. But maybe you didnt mean it that way..
As far as the "men who love/marry bitches" book...all I can tell you is that if your personality and mind doesnt naturally work the way it lays things out in the book...then you may not be able to pull it off for the long term. My natural personality can be seen as "bitchy" to some people - but only when someone hurts me or tries to take advantage of me or talks down to me. Is that bitchy or is it just self-esteem? To pretend to be someone else for a long period of time is very exhausting. I read the two books and while she does make some valid points...like not being a doormat...nothing is gained by game playing...except a superficial relationship. Some men like strong women who wont let them walk all over them...like a doormat...but those men also need to see that there is love behind those claws and those claws only come out to protect themselves from idiotic men or men who make idiotic moves. So enjoy the book, sometimes her gimmicks do work in the short run...but it is better to just like yourself and then the actions come naturally..
Good luck with "Mike" and have fun!.
It sounds like you've been hurt in the past and don't want to allow yourself to be vulnerable enough to let that happen again.
Twenty one years is a large age difference... It sounds like your main interest in this guy is to be taken care of . Don't you want to learn how to give yourself a good life? Sure he's there in a flash now if you don't feel well - you're smack in the romancing, courtship stage. What kind of guy is this characterwise? And who says love has to fade?.
Thanks for the time and the words of wisdom. I really did a lot of soul searching. I took some time and I found myself in love.
Mike and I are so happy. I guess the whole "May December" debate on relationships will always be sort of taboo.
B/C of our age diff. I kind of stereotyped myself and let the doubt into my mind. I didn't mean to sound so superficial. I just grew up in a household with parents who always struggled and fought and ALMOST divorced over money & success. I want LOVE and SUCCESS....
This is real LOVE and now that the dust has settled I took my family to dinner with Mike and EVERYONE agreed he is great for me and they have never seen me more happy. We also had dinner with my closest gal pals and they love him too..
This just played out better than I could ever imagine..
"Love can move Mountains".
I had to go back to your original post to remember your situation. How nice that everything worked out!.
Yeah, you did come across as a stereotypical golddigger...hehe..
As long as you feel love and affection and it is real, as you say, then...enjoy!..
Best of luck to both of you. People will always have strong opinions on the age thing but the two opinions that truly count and yours and the man in question.