Your question was: Match.com question..?.
No - you don't give up on love but you do accept that the way it's packaged may need to be changed. It is teh belief that no one is interested that is causing the issue, not that there actually aren't men in you rage group that are. Continue to be happy and confident in who you are and what you offer, yes, you'll have less nibbles, but the ones that do are usually more sincere.
Why not expand your own age range to include younger men? Also, there is a great book by Gail Sheehy called Sex and the Seasoned woman - it's very interesting and may help you with getting beyond this misguided belief..
Have you tried online dating (online dating with Match.com) sites? There are some good ones out there that you can join and set your search to men who want a woman 50+..
As I posted to you in the other thread you started, I'm 49 and dating (online dating with Match.com) someone who is 36. So no, you don't have to give up on love at your agealthough the pickings are definitely slimmer. My experience with men in our age range is that many if not most of them have one or more of the following issues:.
1. They are boring and have zero zest for life (old before their time)..
2. They are not interested in a serious relationshipthey've BTDT and are just looking for sex and companionship..
3. They have serious emotional issues and are not willing to do anything about them..
By contrast, I know so many great women around our age who are out enjoying life and doing fun things, who have gone to counseling and dealt with their issues and who know they want a serious r'ship. There aren't enough men who are similar to match the demand, unfortunately. But all it takes is one, and some women are finding good guys, so why not at least try ;-)?.
Yes, I tried Match.com. I did get alot of responses, but I look alot younger than I am. I don't want to be with a man 10 years younger than myself. I've done that before, not to say I'm totally closed to that, but prefer someone near my own age...52yrs old..
It seemed to me that the men I dated "expected" sex by the forth date...if not before, and I'm just not into having a sexual relationship (thru Match.com) with someone I barely have met...I prefer to wait 3 or 4 months & be exclusively dating (online dating with Match.com) monogomous w/ the man I'm dating. I need to get to know the person for more than 4 dates before I get intimately involved. I want something to definitly "be there" before I get intimate w/ someone...I want to know he will be calling me the next day if you know what I mean..
Is it true that most women & men are having sex before the 4th date??? It seems to be the "norm". My one girlfriend swears that I have to change my ways or I'll never get a man! She says, "afterall we're older now." I noticed that "putting out" early hasn't worked for her...I'm not ready to change the way I feel about love & sex going together. I've never been into "recreational sex". Well, maybe just once with a casual friend & it was toatally meaningless to me. I don't think I'll ever change my mind about it..
I don't know about *putting out* on the first date using Match.com but my SO and I had sex on our second date. We had spent the whole day together and slept together that night. While that may not work for some and was not my *norm* with dating, it did work out in this case. We had chemistry from the first moment we met face to face. I don't think you have to change your ways or feelings about sex. If a man you are dating (online dating with Match.com) doesn't respect your feelings about intimacy then he's not the right guy for you.
I think you are right about most men my age unfortunately. Where do you meet a good man? I say just "do your life" and hopefully a good one will show up! I'm still waiting! The interests I've had just don't involve being around too many men. I don't have any girlfriends that frequent the bars too often. Where else do you find them??? .
Well, as I said I've found most of the guys I've dated in the last 10 years online but I have two friends who met and married men they met in the choir I sing with (the only single straight men, LOL), and I did meet a couple guys who asked me out at a local music festival (but only had one date using Match.com with each of themneither was a good match for me). But most of the people I know who are in recent relationships (ie., that started in the past few years) met their partners online..
I know one single guy in his 50s who posts here on Ivillage who meets a fair number of people through the activities organized by meetup and meetin. To see if your community has meetup or meetin activities, I'd google "meetup" and your town then "meetin" and your town (they are two separate organizations)..
I do think it's more important to do what you enjoy than to do something just to meet men, however..
I don't know if it's the "norm" or not, but I can tell you that I've dated plenty of men in our age group who were FINE with waiting more than 4 dates! I generally prefer to wait 6-8 weeks if it's someone I'm considering as a potential LTR partner, and yes, have the exclusivity/monogamy conversation before having sex..
3-4 months may be pushing it but it's your perogative. Someone who's right for you will be fine with waiting that longjust recognize that you might be further narrowing the dating (online dating with Match.com) pool by wanting to wait that amount of time..
OK lets just take it easy (a Man's Opinion). I had a relationship (thru Match.com) with a 50 year old lady and I was 51 so we seemed well matched. We went to the same school, same church affilliation. We met up over the internet although we live close by in the same city. We seemed to have a good relationship, lots of stuff to do together. But she wanted (Or planned) to have sex by week 4 (something like that).
It gets way to big before all the vegies even get going. A relationship (thru Match.com) like that is doomed from the start. Now after 2 years we are only friends again. I wasn't ready for that kind of relationship (thru Match.com) so fast. So a bit of advice, stay out of the bed for 3 or 4 months, and get to know him really good first. He will respect you for it in the end..
I normally dont post on this board, but got side-tracked this way... I'm 55... I like dating (online dating with Match.com) women my age.. Ive dated younger, and the reason for my having dated younger was for the same reason that someone posted below your post for women dating (online dating with Match.com) younger men. I like going.. I like being active... and for some reason, the women my age that I have crossed paths with aren't looking for the things I have to offer as a 55yo male....
I will date using Match.com women 10 years younger than I am, but it's not about age... it's about frame-of-mind, it's about wanting to go placesa and do things... the last woman I dated was my age, and we had a blast....
I would never give up... "Giving up" is the only way you are guaranteed to not meet someone special....
Love generously,Care deeply,Speak kindly........
"Where do you meet a good man? I say just "do your life" and hopefully a good one will show up! I'm still waiting!".
This is the exact same question I ask... only about where the 'good women' are... I do go about living life, but it's just not working well... and I guess to add that Im a bit on the shy side....
Love generously,Care deeply,Speak kindly........
There alot of good woman out there! I know lots of them! How old are you? What age range are you looking for? Where do you like to hang out? Try hanging out at the gym, mall, TJMax, the bookstores, coffee shops, volunteer for a cause, & try a classy dance bar. Have you ever tried an online dating (online dating with Match.com) site? That might be a good way for a "shy guy" to meet a great girl. What do you have to lose?! Try it! It might be easier for you to converse w/ her online & get to know about her before you actually meet in person. I liked Match.Com real well for my first time. .
I'm sorry about age limit events and yes some guys are looking for younger women. But many are actively seeking women who are their senior. Experience is sexy- indeed, a 2003 survey conducted by the National Association of Retired Persons revealed that one-third of single women between 40 and 60 are dating (online dating with Match.com) younger men..
But do everything you can to keep yourself looking as good as you can. The more beautiful you feel, the more men are attracted to you like bees to honey!.