or Match Affinity - Which is better?

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My question is: or Match Affinity - Which is better?.

My 2nd question is: I met a super nice guy a couple of weekends ago when I was out with my girlfriends for my birthday.  We hung out all night and then went out for something to eat after the bar.  He ended up spending the night.  For the week following this we were texting each other all day every day and then he asked me to go out for dinner this past Friday.  We had a nice dinner and then went and played pool and went back to his place - it was alot of fun, we really clicked, had lots to talk about, it was relaxing, no awkard moments.  We went back to his place for a while and then he took me back to my car and I went home.  We talked and texted off and on all the next couple of days.  He sent me a good morning pretty lady text this morning and then we texted back and forth a few times over the day.  I asked him to do something this week and now I haven't heard back from him.  I think I'm just being paranoid because our conversations on our date using suggested that he was interested in pursuing something more long term.  I wanted to get together with him this week to talk about what he is looking for and to make sure we're on the same page.  I have a 6 year old child and I want to make sure that is not going to be a problem (he already knows about her)  I've been seperated for 8 months and I don't have the time or energy to spend dating (online dating with a bunch of different guys. I don't want to jump into anything either especially with someone that doesn't want the same thing.    I was with my husband for 12 years so it's been a long time since I've been in the dating (online dating with game and I'm just not sure how to play the "game" anymore.  I really like this guy and don't want to spoil something that could be good by being paranoid....should I just wait to hear back from him?..

Comments (7)

What exactly was your other option?  Keep texting him until he texts you back?  Why does he have to text you back within 5 seconds?  Maybe he is sleeping or turned his phone off.  Dont freak out if he doesnt reply right away.  Dont be needy.  You'll drive yourself -and him- crazy with that..

You only met a couple of weeks ago and you're already thinking long-term?  Do you want to marry him already or something?  Slow down...

Comment #1

You have met the guy "a couple of weekends ago " .Its way too soon to be expecting something like you are expecting.Tread carefully and very slowly.God BlesS..

Comment #2

No I don't think that he needs to answer back in 5 seconds - for the past couple of weeks he's been the one texting all the time and always very propmt in responding (and I dont mean immediatley)  Trust me I am the least needy person.  I just find that guys are all gung ho in the beginning and then they will just all of a sudden back off and that's what I don't understand..

I'm not necessarily thinking long term yet but I am also at the age (39) where I do not want to play games or date using lots of different guys. If the guy I am dating (online dating with is not looking for a serious relationship (thru then I don't want to get involved with him...

Comment #3

I completley realize that - but he has been the one that from the beginning has been calling and texting me - and when we were out on our date using he was the one talking about let's do this and let's do that. Future activities.  Which really threw me off now that I feel like he's backing off.  Although since my post he did call and we're going out THursday night...

Comment #4

Two weeks is way to soon to expect a man to decide if he wants something long term with you.  He barely knows you so it would be a significant risk to his lifestyle to make that kind of important life decision so quickly..

However, it would be acceptable for you both to discuss what you want out of life and relationships over the next few years as long as that discussion is in a general sense, rather than a specific sense about you...

Comment #5

It's totally understandable you wanting to know if he is on the same page but I think it's too early (way too early) for "the talk"..

Just from what I have read...often (not all the time) when women bring up this subject too soon, it changes the tone of the relationship (thru from fun and light to serious...and this turns men off and can scare them away..

What I would do is see him casually (no sex) until he brings up exclusivity.   Be casual, be light, don't make him more until he brings up that he would like more.  Don't let your daughter get involved until you feel he is in it for the long haul.  And, until you are exclusive, still be open and date using others..

Even if you already had sex you can say "I think I made a mistake in sleeping together too early.  I realize I need a commitment before I do that".  Or something like that. The book "Getting to I Do" has excellent words to say to communicate this..

Your relationships sounds promising. It seems like you have a lot of chemistry.  However, in the beginning all relationships are fragile and it's important to not make it too heavy or too much pressure in the beginning when you are only getting to know each other.




Comment #6

You have to focus on getting to know him as a person, and him getting to know you, before you can possibly even begin to have an educated guess at what a relationship (thru would be like. You don't know this guy at all, all you know at this point is whether or not there's physical chemistry between you and whether or not you like his initial impression.Again, get to know him in person and you won't need to drive yourself nuts thinking long-term...

Comment #7

This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.


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