or Which is better?

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My question is: or Which is better?.

My 2nd question is: So, I've been talking to a guy for the past couple of weeks....our best friends date using each other, that's how we met. There was an instant connection/attraction when we saw each other. He has taken me on a few dates(where he researched the restaurants) and needless to say we have had sleepovers (yes, sex)...mostly because we don't live near each other... This past weekend we were both visiting friends at the beach, not together. He went to the bar that I said I was going to and said for me to text him when I got there. I did and he asked me where I was exactly and said he would come find me.

Whatever, if he wanted to hang with his friends, that's fine, just don't make promises you don't plan on keeping, right? Unfortunately I had a bunch to drink and he called me at 1am at which point I called him a jerk-normally wouldn't do that if I were sober. I decided to call him the next day at which point he apologized for being obnoxious and said he would meet me on the beach, which he did for about an hour-then said he would call me later. Well, hours went by and a bunch of us decided to bbq and have some beers. I text him what I was doing and he just showed up. However, he acted weird, didn't stay long.

We had a great start and my gut is telling me that me or him or both of us either blew it or are playing it too cool. I am new to this because I just got out of a 5 year long relationship. I am not familiar with the 'game'. Any feedback/advice is appreciated. Thanks!..

Comments (4)

I have to add that he never tried to find me and never came to the same bar as me like he said he would. I agree calling him a jerk is bad and I apologized to him as well...

Comment #1

Sorry but it sounds to me like he got what he wanted (sex) and he is not interested in taking it further yet. Since you barely know him and didn't discuss things I would almost bet he is seeing other people, which is not wrong since you didn't have an agreement about anything.Most often when a guy is into you, there is usually no doubt, he calls, he asks you out, he will find you if he wants to see you, this guy doesn't seem like he is doing that. And you get drunk and call him a jerk, but since you apologized for doing that then it is really all you can do at this point, it is up to him now. Get on with your life just like before, let him come to you if you are still interestedHe can say anything to you he wants, but if his actions don't back that up, then it is just words with no meaning. Accept this as a lesson learned, take everything they say with a huge grain of salt at first, until you actually get to know them, which takes more than a few dates and a couple of sex sessions. Good luck..

Comment #2

Thank you, that is good advice and exactly what I should do. There is just one issue (besides that I really like him) our best friends are in a very serious relationship (thru and we will be running into each other a lot. I don't want it to be awkward and I plan on behaving better from now on and not like last weekend. It's been a few I should NOT text him???..

Comment #3

If it were me, no I wouldn't text him. You have tried and he hasn't really stepped up to the plate. Just hold your head high, be bigger than him, have more class, usually that is the best course. Continue on with your life just like before you got together with him (even though it might be hard at first, it would be worth it)Good luck..

Comment #4

This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.


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