MATCH.COM? How many people have you had a sexual encounter with on or yahoo personals?

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My first question is: MATCH.COM? How many people have you had a sexual encounter with on or yahoo personals?.

My next question is: Will try to keep this as short as possible.

A few weeks ago, I received a text message from this guy, M.  We met through mutual friends a few months ago, I thought nothing of it, but he obtained my number and sent me a message.  At first we kept it casual, a few messages back and forth, and then we started calling.  We had a few amazing, long calls - 3 hours, 2 hours, 6 hours, 4 hours.  It was like we could talk forever about anything. .

We met up for coffee and it was a bit lackluster (not as "sparky" as the calls but I put it down to nerves) but then we hung out a little more and it was great again.  No kissing or touching, but plenty of talk.  He would send me "what are you up to?" text messages, and he had said that he was starting to think of me in a long-term sense.  He's a single dad with primary custody of his three boys, and he said things like "when you meet the kids, yada yada". .

So, given all this........why have I not heard from him in a couple of days?!!  He didn't reply to one of my text messages, and the next day he sent a message APOLOGISING for not replying, and saying that he would call that night - which he didn't.  I haven't heard from him at all today..

What happened???!!  One night we're having these amazing deep meaningful talks and the next night he has dropped off the planet...

Comments (5)

Your question was: MATCH.COM? How many people have you had a sexual encounter with on or yahoo personals?.

Bummer, but this happens all the time.  If he is a single dad then life is probably taking up his time.  Dont know how old the kids are but he could be busy with them starting school.  Just keep this in mind when dating (online dating with another with young children, they will & should come first.  If a person has a hard time dealing with that, then it's time to rethink dating (online dating with someone with kids still at home..

Dont know if thats it in this case but some food for thought.  I have seen this same thing numerous times on these relationship (thru boards.  I think the majority of women expect the man to be in constant contact and I believe that is wrong and makes us seem needy, desperate and clingy.  Just my opinion..

My advise is to go on with your life as normal, if he calls again, give him an opportunity to explain and see if you want to continue to work on starting a relationship.  Maybe he is getting cold feet..


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Comment #1

Just hang tough and whatever you do don't contact him and don't expect him to call every day..

I have a rule that I'll never call a guy... yes, I'll return his phone calls but for the first few months when we are 'dating' I'll let him do the pursuing because guys like the chase.    Keep yourself really busy with friends; I'm sure he will call you because he does sound interested; just keep your eyes open for the way he treats you and if his words are followed up with actions... if he doesn't contact you within the next few days I would say he's not into you that much.  Just go with the flow, keep dating (online dating with other people and have fun... don't expect too much. ..

Comment #2

Hi onahigh, I'm in agreement with the good advice you got from yankee. There could be a number of reasons why he is not acting the way he used to, but one of the most important things to do when dating, whether it's going well or whether it's going not so well, is to continue your life as normal. If he is going to add to, and enhance, your life - then you have to keep the focus on yourself. Men naturally want to pursue women, I truly think that all of the women who write on these boards saying "he was so committed and affectionate and communicative and wanted to get married and then all of a sudden he stopped - WHY?" are looking at a man who loved to be in pursuit for a while and then suddenly realized that he didn't really have anything that required that much pursuit because he was already the center of her universe.Maybe that is a tangent that doesn't really apply but I think it's something to keep in mind You have a life that goes on with or without him, he'll either latch onto you or he'll bounce off, who knows... But make sure you are keeping YOU at the center of your own universe. Have fun with friends and family, maintain your own interests or find new ones. It is attractive for a man to pursue a woman who has an interesting life...

Comment #3

It could be that he doesnt feel that the two of you are the best fit.  It is rude to not return a call or say that you are calling and then dont.  he should have at least told you that while he thinks you are nice, he doesnt see a future dating (online dating with you...

Comment #4

Hey everyone - thanks for your words.

He ended up sending a few text messages and then called last night and we spoke for a couple of hours.  When I look back, I'm not sure what I was so worried about.  I guess part of me really does want everyday contact, but I do have to acknowledge that that's not always possible and it often wouldn't occur to a man to call every single day.  He told me that he spent a fair amount of time downloading some TV shows for me, so at least I know I was on his mind even if he didn't call..

I'm still not 100% sure of where he and I are at, and it's VERY frustrating, but yes - I am trying to take everyone's advice and not put him in the centre of my thoughts all the time!!..

Comment #5

This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.


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