have said I can have 6 free months.?

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My first question is: have said I can have 6 free months.?.

My next question is: I have been dating (online dating with a man 18 yrs my senior going on 4-5 months. I am 40 , he 58.  He is full of energy and  makes me laugh... I have NO idea how so called " dating " is supposed to go. Where we are supposed to be at this point in our relationship. I have not "  dated "  in a while.... He is retired. I work a full-time job. I have a home , he does as well. We are both settled.

We see each other on  the weekends. No during the week. Money and time seem to be the reason for this. I will get things done around the house during the week,  so I can spend my weekends with him.... Because of my job environment we talk during the day via e-mail most of the time. We may call each other a few times a week. I always seem to be the one to call, and not that I am being childish, but it would be nice if he would call me.

Like today, I have not heard from him at all. ...No phone call this evening asking me how my day was... I just need that " hey I am thinking about you " from him sometimes.....

 We have had discussions about where this relationship (thru is going and we are both apprehensive seeing we have both been in relationship (thru in the past that we had our hearts broken. I know he is not seeing anyone else.  If there is I would be shocked and disappointed in him.  BUT I feel as though I am the one making the moves here. How do I make him realize that I need the reassurance that I seem to be giving him with good morning e-mails, phone calls in the evening asking how his day was. I seem like I am acting childish being my age. He shows me affection when we are together and he treats me like the woman I am, but I need something else from him.....

Who knows, my question in a nut shell...Where should we be at this point. We laugh we cut up we have fun together, BUT something is missing. I need to know that I am needed and wanted more than just on the weekends we when are out running around having a big time....Does this makes sense? am I putting too much into this? am I too needy ? Do I need to back off ?  or is it just PMS and insecurities that I seem to be having at the moment....LOL.


Comments (6)

Your question was: have said I can have 6 free months.?.

Stop worring where you should be at what point. You dont have to be at any point in 6 months. Go with the flow. There are no rules in dating!!!! LOL other than if it's exclusive. Honestly I dont think men think about the little emails and phone calls during the day unless you tell them ya know would love to hear you vlice during the day some time. And if he says well you call...yyou can come up with a total smart a** remark...Ya I know just my finger are kinda tired of doing all the walkin...then give him a little jab abd a big kiss. And maybe say you are luck I like you LOL..

Comment #1

Thanks for the Advice. I think I have been going with the flow.  It is more him asking me where we are going in this relationship. Which gets me thinking about it....Heck, I dont know...We are exclusive. I know that. We have had this talk. Well, I am going to play hard to get.

I have never dated anyone older than I, and I wonder if it is just the age. It is just something as simple as a phone call would help me feel better.  I know it's the PMS !  ..

Comment #2

When a relationship (thru is developed enough, I think that you have to to tell the guy openly & honestly what it is that you want if you're not getting what you want.  If you don't, they may assume you're okay when you're not.  If you don't talk about the problems, they will fester.  Here, you & your BF have agreed to be exclusive, and it sounds like you think he's wonderful and you want to stay with him, so I think that if something is bothering you, you should tell him.  Tell him that you want him to call you more often during the week.  Then, when he knows for certain, that's when you wait to see how it goes.  If he doesn't change, you've got some thinking to do.  If he does make the effort, then you've got a good reason to wait for the weekend!  I just think you should talk to him, so that he knows. ..

Comment #3

I think you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself to be/act/say the right things, when he really likes you for who you are and there isn't anything you should change.When you're not sure of the answers, it's usually because you haven't given yourself enough time for them to come to you. What you want from this relationship (thru is an answer that WILL make itself more obvious in the coming months. "Go with the flow" is good advice - I am confident you will figure it out when the time is right. Until then you can tell him that you really like having an exclusive relationship (thru with him and are happy to see where this leads...

Comment #4

You need to quit calling him, let him make the calls for a while.  You are not PMS'ing, it's your inner voice telling you that there is something lacking in this relationship.  So proceed with caution.  Just continue to date using and dont let him pressure you into "taking the next step" until your are ready if ever..


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Comment #5

Your letter makes perfect sense.  Of course it does..

This is my advice:.

You cannot make a man give you more attention/calls/plans, etc. You can only stop doing it yourself to see if he will walk up to the plate and do it..

So I think you should simply stop. Stop emailing, stop calling, stop planning.  Let him do the work.  In my view, at least in the beginning, men should be doing a lot of the initiating.  It seems to me you are doing most of it...I would definitely say STOP to that!   I would stop that so you know if he cares enough about you to do the work himself..

So just stop.  Focus on other things, go on with your life and see if he notices and if he starts doing the work when you stop..






Comment #6

This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.


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