Your question was: Match.com, do both people need to be subscribers to talk?.
I hate to say this because I hate when people say it to me but it's best to move on...you stated that he's not wanting a relationship, don't push it, there are other men out there who are wanting a relationship (thru Match.com) with you and want to be a father figure to your children but it will take some time, just take the time being a single mother and doing what's best for you and the kids the right guy will come along. I'm sorry to hear about what your husband did, but I have a feeling you're a strong woman who can make it through this. I hope my adviced helped a little bit...
I'm not sure I understand where your friends are coming from who are saying to just have fun with him. Why would you stay in a relationship (thru Match.com) with someone who doesn't want the same things you do?.
So sorry you had to go through something like that with your husband. I just want to agree with Sheri, your a woman with two beautiful kids and I don't think you should waste your time on someone that doesn't feel the same way you do. There is MOST defo n guy out there that would love to be a father to you children and a WONDERFULL partner to you (which will most probably be an even better partner in bed too,cause he actually wants what you want). Move on hun, you might just miss Mr right if you stick with this guy..
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Your situation sounds somewhat like mine, with the exception that with my guy he was always honest with me, from the start, that we were friends with benefits. We really were friends and the benefits were great but as soon as I started feeling emotionally attached, he disappeared for awhile. Then he came back and he keeps coming back trying to re-establish the connection, but on the same terms, and only on those terms. I am fall-back girl or until-the-right-one-comes-along girl or maybe, like your friends say, not Ms. Right but Ms. Right Now. The problem with being in this position, when you're emotionally attached, is KNOWING that one day he's going to find who he's looking for and we'll be stuck standing there alone, left behind. Being with a man that you care about more than he cares about you; who is only interested in once a week, friendship, ocassional sex, is not a good place to be. It's a recipe for heart-ache. And what makes it worse is that, notwithstanding the chemistry and the connection, you're the one that has to cut him off or he'll keep coming back. It's time to move on, and find the man who wants you as much as you want him..
This guy has been honest with me as well, I don't even know why I am questioning whatever it is that we have other than that I really want a partner in life, not a Friend with Benefits, even if it's a part-time partner for now...