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Match.com advice please?

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My first question is: Match.com advice please?.

My next question is: I met a man on an online dating (online dating with Match.com) site.  He was too good to be true, hot, at attorney, well educated, nice family, etc.  My gut told me something wasn't right and I even came out and asked him if he was married once.  All pictures he sent me were of he and his father, neither one had a wedding ring on.  He never mentioned his mother so I thought she wasn't alive, but after several months, I found out she is..

So, his way of communicating was through texts and emails until I demanded a phone call before I would date using Match.com him.  We live in different states by the way..

It seems he would always invite me down to visit, then would cancel as soon as I would agree.  We finally met after I said absolutely no sex and he tried anyway and never thought to use a condom.  Of course I didn't sleep with him.   A lot of times he would invite me to come visit him while he was away on vacation and once he even said he was staying in a room inbetween his father and sister, but wanted me to visit.  Weird.  It was as if he wanted to get cought.

After a few dates, he invited me to a beautiful resort out of the blue in which I went to visit him.  Much to my surprise, there were 2 text messages on his phone from a woman saying how she could wait to wake up to his smiling face and couldn't wait to get their dates.  I found this woman on an online social site.  I want to let her know what he's doing, especially if he is sleeping with her.  I'd be professional about it..

What would you suggest? He and I are done, but he needs to be cought because he's not being honest about something and hurting many women out there...

Comments (4)

Your question was: Match.com advice please?.

Hi Zygo08.

Welcome to the board!.

This is a tough one.  There is something to be said for taking the high road and then there is the safety of the other women.  Kudos to you for being strong and a smart online dater.

My ex husband had an affair and never told me.  Little did he know that I knew.  I could have had both of their carriers ruined.  I decided against this and I do not regret my decision.  Revenge is so strong and so dangerous. .

If you feel in any way that you are taking revenge, then you should rethink.  Be sure your motives are truly what you think..

Good Luck,.

Kristie.

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Comment #1

Hi Kristie,.

Thank you for your advice.  What a huge thing for you to overcome, I don't know if I would have been able to do that.  Ironically, your post and I just watched a domestic violence incident infront of my house happen, made me rethink my decision.  I hate to see harm between two people, but that isn't my intent for him or this other woman.  Infact, my gut tells me they are both having an affair.  They work in the same industry (he is an attorney), but I am not sure if she is or not, it doesn't sound like it..

My intent is not to hurt either one of them, but she should also be aware that he's sleeping around on her.  I'll go with my gut, which kind of says don't do it.  The truth always comes out in the long run though..

Thanks,.

Zygo.

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Comment #2

Strange man and a strange set of circumstances.  I would just walk away breathing a sigh of relief that you caught on sooner than later. ..

Comment #3

As a complete stranger to her, it is not your place to tell her this.  For all you know, they are in an open relationship (thru Match.com) or something.  Also, you had no agreement of exclusivity so he was never "cheating" on you.  Stay out of it and consider yourself lucky you got out when you did.  It's none of your business..

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Comment #4


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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