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Is this Rude Behavior???

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Hello, Ive known my current bf for over a year, we were just friends up until 3mths ago when we started seeing each other exclusively. This past weekend we went to a dinner function and he ran into a male friend of his. They said hello to each other and proceeded to talk for about 10 minutes. I was just standing there, he didnt even bother to introduce me. When he was done talking he says to me are you mad that I didnt introduce you? I say well I was just standing there and it was rude. He says, well he's an a-hole anyway and you wouldnt have wanted to meet him.

Does anyone else find this extremely rude? I might also mention that I only know his 14 yr old son because he lives with him. He has never introduced me to his daughter or anyone else in his family. I also have only met 2 of his personal friends. Weve talked about this and he is insistent that I am not a secret yet Im not introduced to anyone. Im a bit confused by this behavior.

We get along great, have a lot in common and when we are together always enjoy each other's company. He calls me everyday, 2-3 times a day, we see each other couple times a week and have been exclusive for 3mths. Any thoughts on this type behavior? I think it's rude myself. Thanks...

Comments (6)

Your question was: Is this Rude Behavior???.

I do think it's rude not to introduce someone in that situation and don't think much of his explanationif he's such a jerk, why did he talk to him for 10 minutes with you standing right there?So, did your BF ultimately agree it was rude, or not?I think you have 3 separate issues here in any event about this, meeting his son and meeting his friends. I think that it's far too early to introduce you to his son so I don't think that should be an issue yet. As for his friends, 3 months isn't that longI would think that would just be the time that a couple would be starting to go to things as a couple rather than always going out on dates just the two of you. So I'd see if that changes over the next month or two and whether he includes you in things like BBQs at his friends' house, stuff like that. I'd start to include him in your similar stuff as well.So have you reached a point of being ok with how often you see each other? I know that was a concern for you previously.Sheri..

Comment #1

Yes, he's making more of an effort to see more more than once a week. Things have been going good. I have already met his son, I met him a year ago when I originally met my bf. I havent met his daughter or anyone else in his family. The daughter lives with the mother. Yes I did tell him his behavior was rude and he apologized...

Comment #2

I don't like the fact that your bf was aware that he hadn't introduced you to the guy.  Usually it's an oversight when an SO doesn't get introduced, as in: "Oh, I'm sorry!  I didn't even realize I didn't introduce you!"  But your guy keeps you standing there for 10 minutes, intentionally not introducing you, and then turns asks you if you were mad(???)  I agree that it was rude and it was bizarre, too. .

I also would wonder about not meeting anyone in his family, other than the son that lives with him.  But I could give him the benefit of a doubt since you've only officially been boyfriend/girlfriend for 3 months.  Maybe it's still too soon, in his mind, right now.  But now you have made your feelings known on this subject... you want to meet his family and his friends.  It's up to your boyfriend to make it happen.  I wouldn't keep needling him about it.  If he cares about your feelings and wants you to be secure about your place in his life, he will start arranging introductions over the next, few months. .

But if 6 or 7 months go by and you STILL feel like you're a secret girlfriend because you haven't met anyone, I would bring it up again.  And if he ever pulls a stunt like that again (talking to someone and not introducing you), that could be a deal-breaker. Personally,  I cannot stand to be disrespected or disregarded in any way.

Jilly..

Comment #3

Thanks for your responses. I did ask him if I could see a picture of his daughter, he goes, oh I never showed you, NOOOOO you didnt was my response. I said Ive never met her either, his response, well you know teenagers, they dont want to meet anyone. Thats when I said yeah the only reason I know your son is cause he lives with you.Last night we were together and his son did a favor for me and I thanked him and told him how polite he was. My bf piped up, yeah he's like his father. I didnt even respond....I acted like I didnt even hear him.

He's aware of my feelings to meet his daughter/family. Im not going to needle him but I do agree that if 7-8 mths go by and no meetings then it's time to make a decision. Only I know how long I am willing to tolerate/accept things as they are. Time will tell...

Comment #4

When he was talking to the friend, if it were me, I would've waited for a pause in the conversation, stuck my hand out and said "Hi, I'm so and so's gf, Blondegreen. Nice to meet you!" But that's just me. I'm not easy to ignore - lol!<<He's aware of my feelings to meet his daughter/family. Im not going to needle him but I do agree that if 7-8 mths go by and no meetings then it's time to make a decision. Only I know how long I am willing to tolerate/accept things as they are.>>I totally agree...

Comment #5

He definitely should have introduced you but sometimes guys just aren't the best at etiquette. You've expressed how you felt and hopefully in a similar situation he will act differently now or you can say, Hello, I'm - to make your presence known..

And you do know his son and have met 2 of his friends - that's certainly a big relationship (thru Match.com) so you're not a secret. Has he met people in your life...?.

,..

Comment #6


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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