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Is this normal?

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I am 26, but I've only been in a few serious relationships in my life. I have been in my current relationship (thru Match.com) for almost two years, but I'm starting to have my doubts. One thing that really bothers me is that my boyfriend seems to be obsessed with my breasts (although they are small). He is always reaching his hand down my shirt when we are watching tv together or when he hugs me. Sometimes he even starts rubbing my back and then slowly sneaks his way down. This really bothers me and I have told him, but he gets upset/offended when I won't let him touch my breasts.

Is this normal guy behavior? Any suggestions?..

Comments (8)

Your question was: Is this normal?.

The good news is that it must be nice to know that he likes your body, hehe. If he is the type of guy who likes a lot of sex, then I'd say it would probably be normal for HIM to be this way, as he may be touching you in hopes of turning you on. If that is not the way to turn you on, then you might want to relay to him so he stops. I have experienced this before too, and it usually was done because the guy wanted to have sex. Does he state exactly why he is upset or offended by you not wanting your breasts touched?..

Comment #1

He likes your body, he's giving you attention and you don't like it??? Ok, why?  Is he wanting sex, do you feel like he pawing you?  You have to define what you are feeling.  Maybe he shows love through touch..... Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman.

Carrie..

Comment #2

"Maybe he shows love through touch."> true, he could. I am the touchy feely type. Generally speaking though, when a guy is fondling your sexual organs, he has sex on his mind just like when I start playing with a man's penis.....

Comment #3

I agree with you.... I hope she comes back and answers my questions..

Carrie..

Comment #4

Thanks for you reply. I have been thinking about what you said. It's not that I don't like it when he's interested in me... It's just that sometimes he does this when I'm almost asleep or when I'm doing work and my mind is on something completely different. If he is doing it just to have sex, I wish he would take a different approach. I think I may need to find the book that you mentioned, because I feel more connected with someone through conversation, not through physical touch...we don't talk about much.

Also, I've just never had a boyfriend reach down my shirt and grab me without any build up to the moment...

Comment #5

Hi again,.

Most women bond through emotional intimacy and when their emotional needs are met, the physical part just follows naturally.  The book will help on one level - in sight on what 'language' makes you feel loved.  Another is Mar and Venus in the Bedroom, by John Gray - talks about the different approaches to sex that men and women have.  Like going straight down your top vs. caressing, talking, foreplay, etc..

I can understand the odd feeling when you aren't used to it (could be just his style and eventually you will get used to and LIKE it LOL) or when you are half-asleep or in the middle of something.   Maybe it's his way of getting your attention.... like with kids misbehavin' to get attention.  Give him a hug when he starts and see if he's just wanting a show of physical affection.  At some point (maybe after reading the book) talk to him about his approach.  Hopefully, the two of you can work through this....

Carrie..

Comment #6

"If he is doing it just to have sex, I wish he would take a different approach.".

Then you need to tell  him that.  He may be doing this, like cltwinflame suggests, as a boyish type of mischeviousness or it may be a fantasy of his to be able to persuade an otherwise distracted woman into having sex with him..

"I think I may need to find the book that you mentioned, because I feel more connected with someone through conversation, not through physical touch...we don't talk about much.".

You can incorporate talk into what he is doing.  When he starts grabbing at you, try to slow him down and start talking to him while you guys build up to the sexual act.  Some men only touch when they are in the mood for sex so if that is what he is doing it could become a turnoff for you instead of a turn on. Some men start this after they have been with someone for a while - they skip the nonsexual hugging and touching thinking that they "dont have to do that anymore" because they have been with someone for a while - lazy..

"Also, I've just never had a boyfriend reach down my shirt and grab me without any build up to the moment.".

I have..

 ..

Comment #7

Thank you for all the advice! You all have helped me see this in a different light. I will definitely try some of your suggestions...

Comment #8


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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