I totally agree with Sheri. If it gets to the point where he asks you on a date, you MUST tell him that you are married, even if you are separated by a long distance and planning to get divorced. For me personally, I prefer to not get involved with anyone who is separated, no matter what the situation - even if they tell me the relationship (thru Match.com) is completely over and all that's left is the signature on the paper. I don't care. To me, that's still married and that's drama I don't want to be involved in. .
As for how you do it, simple and straightforward works. You tell him that you like him and want to go out with him but need to be honest about your current status and you are in the process of ending your marriage (as long as that is truthful and you HAVE started to look into annullment or divorce proceedings) but as of now you are still legally married. It will then be his choice what to do. He might have no problem with it but don't be hurt if he wants to wait until your marriage is legally over..
Thanks ladies for the input!!!! I was not planning to have to deal with anything like this situation at all. It caught me completely off guard to actually be this interested in a man when I had to put that emotion on the back burner for the past 5 years because of my husband..
But it is good because it is making me take action on something I should have done a while ago. I am turning 40 next year and want to have a happy birthday and a good relationship (thru Match.com) with myself as well going forward...
I have another question though to you both.
He has not asked me out yet and we do work together just one day a week.
He has treated me to lunch ordering in last week in fact ( We work overnights) but I did not have cash on me so this is why he paid.
Otherwise we would have gone dutch. ( I think) but We have ordered food together before and again I did not have quite enough for the platter that he wanted. I had just planned to buy an individual sandwich for myself..
He asked me to pay the tip and I did that but he would not let me give him the money I had to contribute to the meal. He put it all on his credit card..
I always use my debit card and rarely carry it but will start keeping $20 on me when I work with him from now on..
We are both part-time.
I am hoping to get more into the conversational area of dating (online dating with Match.com) status and us going out say around April 2010. My contract ends at the job in may 2010.
But the thing is I know I can't totally control how things go because of our constant conversations about everything under the sun. Things are moving faster than I thought in a sense. But He has not told me he is dating (online dating with Match.com) and I think he is holding off because of work but this is just my guess. he winks at me and wants to hug me when I go home in the morning I get off an hour before him (actually a european kiss on both cheeks thing) we are in canada but none the less he is seeking physical contact with me..
What do you ladies think..
I'm not sure I understand what the question is. Are you asking if you should ask him out? I would vote no, let him do it if he's interested..
Sorry Sherri to be so long winded but my question was.
Should I even bother bringing up the subject of my husband based on the fact that I have a strong feeling my co-worker likes me? and am hoping that he will ask me out eventually? or Should I just ask him straight out to go for coffee and tell him how I feel and be the one to put the cards on the table?.
I mean he has not come out and said anything about us going out. I am going by his actions and body language and our good rapport. he really seems to be tripping over his feet at times to get in my good graces.
His behavior reminds me of when just say for instance a boyfriend and you have just gotten back together and he wants you to know he is still worthy of you..
This is why I had to explain in more detail just some of the things in my last comment that have happened since I have been working there..
I just don't want to get caught up in my own romantic hopes and I turn out to be wrong about him liking me as more than a friend..
Plus we have to work together still for 5 more months..
No, I would not say anything about your marital situation unless and until he asks you out. I would assume friendship only unless he tells you otherwise, so no, I would not tell him how you feel..
Tell him the truth. It's going to come out sooner vs later and if you hide such a vital piece of info he'll have trouble trusting you.
Hi, well as of now we are just co-workers who flirt and I really don't know for sure if he will ask me out. He has and still is giving me many of the flirting signals but has notdone the obvious and followed up with me by asking for my phone number or asked me to go out yet. I don't think I need to volunteer that information to feed his curiosity because he is not stepping up to the plate officially.
He has bought me food 2 times at work and did not want to be paid back but just wanted me to give the tip to the delivery guy..
I do plan to pay him back by buying a certain dessert he likes that we can't get here in our area. I don't want him to think I am a woman who takes advantage of a guy in that way by him always paying or that I am not grateful for lunch..