Your question was: Is there any way to tell when a profile was first posted on match.com or how old a profile is?.
"Naturally, I am going out of my mind wondering whether he'll call, whether he might be interested, whether he's rethinking things, whether he's playing by the 3 day rule, whether I should call or write to ask for a second date, blah blah blah. I've never really dated before, so I have no idea how to proceed, and the anxiety is starting to get me. Help!"I started a thread here called "Male dating (online dating with Match.com) tactics" several weeks ago, and the first thing on my list was the practice of calling late. It's a learned behavior. We know that if we're too prompt, too eager, too interested, it's the kiss of death. On the other hand, if we wait to call, we know that for that time the woman will be thinking more about us than if we had called, and won't take us for granted.
Anyway, to answer your question, he could just be employing a tried and true male dating (online dating with Match.com) tactic. It certainly seemed as though he liked you, so I'd expect him to call... late. If not, call him. There's no harm in that...
Did he talk to you at all about a second date using Match.com at the end of the first date? If not..there is a possibility that he is not interested in pursuing a relationship. On the other hand he could be playing stupid games like keeping the woman waiting for the call. What does your gut tell you?..
At the end of the date using Match.com I mentioned something about getting together again, and he said something vague about the next time he comes to town...I can't remember if this was before or after our makeout session, but I remember kind of thinking, ouch, that's not a good sign. But then he sent the text messages that night, and I kind of forgot about it. He has not said anything along the lines of "We should do that again soon" or "I'll call you" or naming a specific date.
So I guess my gut is telling me that he's not interested. Onward and forward...
I am in a passionate and so far, very promising dating (online dating with Match.com) relationship (thru Match.com) of two months and in the beginning...he did not call everyday or plan our next date using Match.com on the first date..
Lots of people like to have some "space" between dates to see how they feel..
All is not lost..
I would say this: Go on with your life....do not fret BUT do NOT call him! Do not text, do not email, do not call. You already did your job...you let him know you were interested. Let him come to you. Maybe you need to pull back a bit. I would. Passionate first dates, while wonderful, are also kind of stressful where you kind of feel like "wow, what just happened"? So give him time to digest what happened and let him come to you. Do NOT contact him at all. Just take care of yourself and your life..
If a guy's interested, he's going to call. In my experience, the guys who are really interested call and set up another date using Match.com right away (within a couple days). The ones who are lukewarm wait for a while. .
Definitely do not call himhe already knows you're interested. It's up to him to take the next step..
Get busy emailing and meeting other men. That's the best way to not be focused on any one guy too soon in the process..
On the other hand he could be playing stupid games like keeping the woman waiting for the call I totally agree this is one of the stupid things men do. I dont know where they got the idea this was good protocal. .
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I have been though what you are going through sooo many times. Remember that Sex and the City episode where the "he's just not that into you" was discussed? I don't know if you watched the show or not, but I never believed in that. I thought, sometimes, guys want to wait a few days, or they are shy, or they just aren't sure how to approach it, they are busy, etc. That all might be true for certain guys and your guy may call you in a few days. He may simply not want to rush anything. I would make the calls, and set up the dates, and make the effort. I would offer to pay on a date, and sometimes, they would accept, and sometimes, not. I thought, why not? I would play the game, not make myself too available, or I would take the initiative. rush to get intimate, or wait it out. I tried everything and nothing seemed to work..
But, I have to say that I recently have found somebody and after meeting him, I might actually believe that "if the guy is into you" he will let you know. He calls when he says he is going to call. He makes sure that I am free on weekends so he asks well in advance. There has never been any doubt in my mind that he likes me, wants to see me. And I have to say, while that scares me to death b/c of certain relationship (thru Match.com) insecurities, it is very nice! I only recently started paying on occasion. He makes ALL of the effort. I don't know if this is going ot last or not, but I now know what it is suppose to be like..
You guy might be busy. He might be waiting for you to call and I don't think there is anything wrong with a girl calling a guy. Call him, and if he is receptive great. But, I would not make a habit of being the one to initiate the contact...
You said - "there is a possibility that he is not interested in pursuing a relationship.".
Do woman really think that a man should make the decision on his "interest in pursuing a relationship", after the very first date?.
Frankly, most men will not make that level of decision after date using Match.com #1. We may make that decision after 4 or 6 months (not dates) as we get to know you and the value you will bring to our lives as great relationships need to be mutually-beneficial..
In this specific situation, he lives an hour away so the amount value he likely wants to see would be greater for her compared to someone else that lives much closer. However, it is also very unrealistic to understand this value after date using Match.com #1 as well. Who knows what he is considering at this time and I would encourage the OP to not get wrapped around the axle based on 1 single date...
If he is truly intertest in you he will call... but whatever you do; DON'T call him again... you'll come off as needy and desperate... also, you won't know if he is really interested in you..
You say that your not experienced ni dating... one word of advice is don't make out too soon; he might be thinking that your easy and do that with all the guys... and that is not considered good girlfriend material... you might end up as just a booty call. So if you want something more substantial out of a relationship, play a little hard to get; that always keeps a guy's interest and you'll also keep your self-respect too. Also, enuff of the steamy texts... that's just too soon in my opionion anyhow..
I'd let him be the one to make the next move. Just go back to the well and set up other dates. Don't get too hung up on this guy. the make up session made you feel vulnerable.
Alas, it doesn't matter. The anxiety was really starting to get to me, and so I sent the guy an email and asked if he wanted to get together on Sunday. He wrote back and said that he appreciated the offer and it sounded like fun, but he was conflicted and thinks it's too much for him right now. He asked me to keep in touch. I wrote back and said that I really liked him, but I didn't want to wait around for him to figure out what he wanted and get over his ex-girlfriend. I told him that I'd be happy to talk to him when his life settled down and I hoped he would drop me a line in that case.I don't get to date using Match.com very much, and so when I meet someone like himsomeone I really like and connected withit's hard to sit back....And even worse when he's not looking for a serious relationship (thru Match.com) and not over his last girlfriend.
*sigh*Thanks for the advice, everyone...
I know you're sad right now, but I am so proud of you for being proactive. Now you don't have to waste anymore time thinking about this guy. Hugs!.
I'm glad you went ahead an emailed him. I'm not sure why people always say not to contact them. You have just as much of a right to contact them as they do to you. I think you should follow your gut and do what you feel is right in the situation not what other people tell you is right. Sure you shouldn't constantly call him or contact him, but why put yourself through all the wondering and waiting when you can be proactive to find out what is going on? I think it's stupid he couldn't be upfront the day he said he didn't get enough sleep but some people don't know how to be honest about things.
Good luck to you and I hope you find someone that is completely into you. You sound like you have a good heart. You deserve someone special, not someone that is still into their ex!..