Is there a phone number for

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My first question is: Is there a phone number for

My next question is: Well I thought I would come in here and see what other advice I can get, as I am totally running in a circle, and can't figure wether to stay on or get off????.


I'm seeing moe.  We have since last july.  We "ARE NOT DATING" as I am constantly told.  we are seeing each other, have a commit to each other so we are monagamous. (sp?) and life has been great.  He doesn't wan't to date using until he is sure we will be together because he has two little boys (not custody) and wants someone he knows will be there and then met his boys.

Thanksgiving we were arguing... yep about the feelings and "WE ARE NOT DATING" thing.  so we talk it out, work it out, and I ask... why is it we get right there and argue and mess it up?  he says he doesn't understand it either.  this that and the other thing. and then marriage comes up.  he brings it up.  I say we don't know each other well enough, he says we do.  then we don't talk about it again.


Off and on.. i'm crying still.  Then I listened to everybody I know who has been asked advice about this I go over to spend time with him.. the first real time (hours) that we have had in months.  do I take advantage? Enjoy the time? Visit? Talk?  NO I break up with him.  and cry through the whole thing.  but we agree that since both of us have things that need to be worked on and taken care of we need to be just friends now and once we have things under control come back and visit and see if we can or even want to be together.


We're both miserable and are fighting.  after wards. and weeks later.  I realize I made a mistake and don't want things to be the way thery are.  Miserable for weeks.


We start talking.  Now our biggest thing is that if we are in close proximity we will end up in bed no matter what.  Just can't stop, no control.


Well, after something happened, he's totally into friend mode. "oh we still have things to do" "we are not dating (online dating with yet"  "we need to work things out".


Now I love him and truely want to be with him, and yes we do have stuff to finish on our own (after 2 year sepeartion I finally got my divorce papers signed and going to court)  he has just been laid off, well actually in june. so he is doing that and trying to get custody of his kids.


So..... am I losing my mind? all my friends say it's just sex to him. I've asked if he cares and he says yes, and i'm very important to him.  but I don't know.

I dont' know if i'm being stupid. that things in the bedroom are so great that I don't want to leave.  that becauase i  do love him that I don't want to walk out. That I want to give it a chance. Or just suck it up and walk out now and not look back and move on.


I have no idea what to do. I have no idea how to figure out if he's using me just for sex. If he's serious if he wants to work things out like he says..

I only just started questioning in my mind.


Can you help with advice or am I so far gone down the tube nothing will help?.





Comments (7)

Your question was: Is there a phone number for

Why don't you try saying something like this? "I would like to put the "emotional stuff" on the table right now while I figure things out. Maybe just being friends right now is the best thing."This is what I am doing. I've decided to keep my distance at the moment because I DON'T want to project anything onto anyone new. I feel I am doing the right thing and it's healthy. I am doing the REAL work, so I CAN have the "love" and relationship (thru I want - one where "both" people are happy and "in love"...

Comment #1

This guy is playing games with your head.  You do not want to continue to live in the state your in now do you?  As long as you are with him that is how it will be.  It will hurt and you will take time to heal but you need to break it totally off with him, have no contact at all and allow yourself the grieving healing time, then move on to find a man that truly wants to be with you..



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Comment #2

If he is telling you that he doesnt perceive the two of you as dating (online dating with .. then you are not dating.  You are spending time together, sleeping with each other, having some fun, talking, but you are not officially dating.  If you are holding on to some hope that things are going to change after the last 9 months .. without his verbal commitment to do so .. then you are working off of "hope" instead ofbasing your feelings on tangible actions coming from him...

Comment #3

I know yall are right, I do. it's just hard. but i'm not going to call or text.  he can call me and i'll go over strong and no sex and lay it out. he can either do it or not. but at least i'll have my answer and I can move on if I need to.


I'm just beat down from it all.



Comment #4

Well thought I would update!.


So I broke it off with him and laid it down exactly. that I need that committed relationship, the dating (online dating with the closnes and if he can't do it then we need to not be together. so I walked.  he said he would like time to get his life in order and then have us meet and see how our lives are and if we want to date using or not.

I'm not holding my breath.


However, in the meantime.. I have met two really nice guys. so casually dating (online dating with to see who I am more attracted to and who I am willing to get into a commited relationship (thru with.  it is the same for the both of them.


So who knows what will happen.  but yall are so right.. I took months to heal and cry over him.  but now i'm done and going in a more positive direction..


So thank you all!.



Comment #5

Good for you. But give yourself time to heal  - don't jump into a rebound thing. Good luck.


Comment #6

Good job on moving on! Enjoy the new men and have simple fun with them. Casual dating (online dating with sounds like a good direction to move in..

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Comment #7

This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.


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