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Is there a Match.com lawsuit filled by former members that former members can sign up for ?

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My first question is: Is there a Match.com lawsuit filled by former members that former members can sign up for ?

My next question is: I asked my "boyfriend", of nearly six years, "What would you say if I wanted to date using Match.com other people?" His response, "If that's what you want. You're running the show."I was blown away, to say the least. First, I told him it made him sound like a door mat. His response, "Then I guess I'm a door mat." Then I told him that it made me feel like he really doesn't care that much for me that, "I'll do 'til something else comes along." He denied that but didn't say much else to convince me otherwise.Can anyone help me with this? I don't know what to think anymore. Our relationship (thru Match.com) seems so empty now. He's always been sort of emotionally stunted, not being able to express himself.

I feel so loss and bewildered. Any ideas/advise would be appreciated...

Comments (8)

Your question was: Is there a Match.com lawsuit filled by former members that former members can sign up for ?

I'm curious, what prompted you to ask a question like that in the first place?  It seems like kind of an off the wall question....

Sheri..

Comment #1

I had been having some issues with how our relationship (thru Match.com) seemed to be going. Mostly his inability to say that he cares for me, or give some sort of reassurance, occasionally. As I said before, my feeling of "You'll do until something else comes along." I've also been considering ending the relationship. So, in the conversation I asked how he would feel if I wanted to date using Match.com other people. It was not out of the blue. It was in context of the topic of discussion between the two of us...

Comment #2

Hmm, ok.  It seems to me that direct questions about the issues that are bothering you would be more likely to give you useful answers than speculative questions that don't really address the issues at hand however.  Even if he'd answered differently and said he wouldn't like it, that still wouldn't tell you whether he is willing/able to change his approach and give you the assurances you need from a SO..

Sheri..

Comment #3

If he had answered differently I would have had some reassurance that he cares for me. I don't need dramatic pronouncements, just "throw me somethin' mista!" We were discussing the issues at hand, namely his inability to to show & tell me that he cares for me. This has been an ongoing issue that we've discussed many times. He says I am not the first to have this issue with him, including his ex-wife. Initially, his aloofness was fine with me. I was fresh from a divorce and didn't want too much closeness.

I have been faithful the whole time and so has he. However, over the past several months, I am beginning to feel like looking elsewhere for what is missing between the two of us. This is why I brought up the conversation. The "what if" question was contained within the conversation and not just random and out of the blue...

Comment #4

Can you give me some "specific questions" I could ask. I may be too confused to think of any. It seemed to me that my "What if" question told me everything. Maybe, I'm just ready to break up and just not aware of it...

Comment #5

Why did you ask him? Could be it hurt him deeply and he felt defensive?  He probably felt you wanted to see others if you were asking. Then calling him a doormat is pretty insulting. I know it's aggravating when someone isn't expressive but this tactic obviously didn't help..

 .

Were you testing him to see his reaction?  If what you wanted was assurance this was a real relationship (thru Match.com) leading somewhere (after 6 years it would be good to know), better to ask directly.

It does sound like the two of you need to have an honest  not accusatory talk about where you are and where you want to me. But no more testing!.

,..

Comment #6

Something along the lines of, as you know, I need more verbal reassurance from you in order to feel cared for and loved.  What steps would you be willing to take to meet my need?.

Or regarding his feelings for you:  I'm having doubts about how you feel about me because you don't show it in terms I can understand.  How would you describe your feelings for me?  How do you feel you show you love me?.

Have you read The Five Love Languages?  That might provide a good start for a dialogue as well, especially if he's willing to read it too..

Sheri.

 ..

Comment #7

These are great questions!! I will try them out next time he and I talk.Thanks a lot...

Comment #8


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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