If this keeps happening to you over and over, the common denominator in this is you. Look at yourself and find out why you are attracted to women in these conditions. It is usually not wise to get involved with someone that is just out of a relationship.. It takes time to heal from a breakup, and most are not ready for a relationship (thru Match.com) right off the bat (they might think they are but they aren't).
Like attracts like, maybe you see yourself as a fixer and you are attracting women that need fixing. Love and respect yourself first and foremost and you will attract people who are the same. Make yourself healthy, happy emotionally and you will find people the same. If you are looking in the same places to meet women, change the places you look....find other places to hang out, join a club or organization for something you enjoy doing, if you only go for a certain "type" be open to different "types"..
<< How can I break away from this frustrating cycle? >>.
Easy. Stop dating (online dating with Match.com) women who are just getting out of troubled relationships. Break it off at first sign of being used to << "get back" former boyfriends or lovers. >> No one can USE YOU without your permission. If you feel you are being used in this regard, then ... it is because you are allowing it..
In all situations in life, you are the common denominator. So, if this keeps happening, it's more because of what YOU are allowing into your life. ..
I'd like to make a suggestion to you. Do not befriend women. It sounds like you'd make the perfect opposite sex friend - someone a woman goes to for the ego boost and someone to go out with if not dating (online dating with Match.com) anyone..
If you hold back on the emotional support and position yourself as a "date" - someone who a woman would have to give some of herself in order to get to know, then maybe you wouldnt fall into the position of someone a woman uses to get back at boyfriends. I think that it is wrong that you have been used this way..
I know it is easy and nice for men to position themselves as the friend who is there with the shoulder ready for the tears, but sometimes that is where they stay..
I'm not sure if this is contributes to your situation, but I thought it might be something to think about. Also try not to date using Match.com women who have just broken up with a guy - then hopefully you'd date using Match.com someone who has worked through all of the garbage of a breakup...
Welcome to the board!!!.
Snafu makes a good point that you need to hold yourself as a "date" upfront. I don't think emotional support should come in the beginning of a relationship. For two people to develope a healthy relationship, each needs to be able to stand on their own..
When you first meet someone, find out when their last relationship (thru Match.com) was and how it ended. Don't talk about ex's on the first couple of dates, but find out. If they seem needed, this should make you think - do I want to deal with this? Maybe date using Match.com more than one person at a time? I think a lot of us forget that it is okay to play the field as long as we are not playing the people we are dating. This will keep you from getting too attached too soon. I think this is easy to do!!!.