candidablog.com

Is online dating safe? Like using match.com?

Want the Latest Match.com Coupons Every Month?


Enter your email address below and we'll send you the latest coupon codes every month. We'll even give a lucky person a free 3 month offer.


My first question is: Is online dating safe? Like using match.com?.

My next question is: Ok, so I have been friends with one of my closest guy friends for 8 or 9 months.  We've gotten really close.  He has basically told me his whole life story.  He's told me things that hes never told anyone, and I have done the same.  A few months ago, I started to have romantic feelings for him.  I wasnt sure if he could feel the same way or not.  Long story short, we had a phone conversation one night and well, we both admitted we had strong feelings for each other.  The thing is though, hes moving out of state the middle of next year.  He had said that he cared so much about me and that he would be willing to make it work.  I said I would do the same.. So the next night he calls and says hes so glad we were both honest about our feelings for eachother, but he didnt want to start a realtionship right now, becuase theres so much that is going on with him right now emotionally (which is true) and he doesnt want to hurt me.  He said it's just not right, right now... I really didnt know how to take it.  I just agreed and said he was right.  So our friendship is still great and we still are very close.  The other night we had a phone conversation (both of us a little intoxicated) and we had joked around about how I was transferring (we both work for the same office) and how once I left we could fool around together.. It turned into a conversation about sex.  We basically decided that once I transferred, we would have a sexual relationship.  Now, Im usually not that type pf person.  I dont take sex lightly.  Neither of us have been sexually active in a long time.  I never just have sex with men.. I have always been in a very serious and commited realtionship.  But it just feels like it's ok with him... I have it in the back of my head that he really does have strong feelings for me and he is just afriad to express them AGAIN becuase of the fact that hes moving and hes afriad it wont work.  I dont know what to think or feel.  All I know is that I really care about him.  He and I are very close freinds and I love that about us, but I want more than that.  I can honestly see spending the rest of my life with him.  I know maybe thats pushing it a little, but I cant help the way I feel.  Should I just see where life takes us or tell him we should stay friends??..

Comments (5)

Your question was: Is online dating safe? Like using match.com?.

To have a romantic relationship (thru Match.com) that is real a) the feelings have to be mutual b) you both decide it's worth it to do a long-distance relationship..

 ..

Comment #1

If I were you I would just enjoy the friendship for now.  He said that he has a lot going on emotionally and a relationship (thru Match.com) is right for him at this time.  That is very understandable and it sounds like he is looking out for the both of you by being honest.  Cant ask for more than that.  So enjoy what you do have, take things light and just have fun.  Try not to focus on the future so much and just enjoy living in the moment because that is all you have control over anyway...right?.

Good luck with what ever the two of you decide...

Comment #2

"I have it in the back of my head that he really does have strong feelings for me and he is just afriad to express them AGAIN becuase of the fact that hes moving and hes afriad it wont work. ".

Try to not assume something that he is not saying. If he is telling you it is a sexual relationship (thru Match.com) then make sure you are okay with JUST that and nothing more otherwise you could be setting yourself up for a big disappointment..

If you can find out more about how he feels about you...then try to..before you have sex with him.  You can ask him if he would just have a sexual relationship (thru Match.com) with someone who he KNEW felt more but he didnt reciprocate..so you can see how or what he could do to you too..

You could take a chance but, I dont understand why he turned it around on you. One conversation he would be willing to do anything to make it work and then the next minute he doesnt want to start a relationship (thru Match.com) right now with you.  That's a red flag.  Is it possible that he is dating (online dating with Match.com) someone else?.

 .

 ..

Comment #3

So the next night he calls and says hes so glad we were both honest about our feelings for eachother, but he didnt want to start a realtionship right now, becuase theres so much that is going on with him right now emotionally (which is true) and he doesnt want to hurt me.  what he is telling you here is that he was glad to get the emotions out in the open but now he is sorry for saying it and does not want to lead you on in case he decides he does not want to carry it further.  Take this as honest and that he does not want a serious relationship (thru Match.com) with you..

 .

Powered by CGISpy.com.

 .

My next door neighbor.

Wants to ban all guns.

THEIR HOUSE IS UNARMED.

Out of respect for their opinion I will not protect.

Them with my guns..

Comment #4

This is what I get....yes he cares for you very much. he is moving far awy. This might be just as confussing for him. But listen to him he says it is not the right time. And diont do the FWB without thinking it through. There are no strings in those things and if he finds someone else knowing how you feel you will be hurt.

Ya know I have a guy I dated for about 3 months. His daughter has had a rough time with a few things. Her mom, his wife, passed when she was 18 months old and her step mom wasnt very nurturing. So when she founs out through a neighbor that her her dad had a GF she just kinda went into a depression. So we called it quits but have remained the best of friends and at some point may date using Match.com again.

I have at this point have been dating (online dating with Match.com) someone for about 18 months off and on FWB he is and it is what it is. Stay friends with this man you never know. But keep you life open to others...

Comment #5


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

Categories: Home | Aug 2010 - Acne | Aug 2010 - Weight Loss | July 2010 - Weight Loss |

July 2010 - Crohn's Disease | July 2010 - Celiac Disease | June 2010 - Weight Loss | June 2010 - Acne |

May 2010 - Weight Loss | May 2010 - Acne | April 2010 - Weight Loss | Mar 2010 - Weight Loss |

Mar 2010 - Dieting | Mar 2010 - Acne | Feb 2010 - Weight Loss | Feb 2010 - Dieting |

Jan 2010 - Dieting | Jan 2010 - Acne | Jan 2010 - Weight Loss | Dec 2009 - Acne |

Dec 2009 - Dieting | Dec 2009 - Weight Loss | Nov 2009 - Weight Loss | Nov 2009 - Dieting |

Oct 2009 - Dieting | Oct 2009 - Fitness | Oct 2009 - Weight Loss | Sep 2009 - Weight Loss |

Sep 2009 - Dieting | Aug 2009 - Dieting | Aug 2009 - Weight Loss | July 2009 - Weight Loss |

July 2009 - Dieting | Jun 2009 - Weight Loss | June 2009 - Dieting | May 2009 - Weight Loss |

May 2009 - Dieting | April 2009 - Weight Loss | April 2009 - Dieting | March 2009 - Weight Loss |

Feb 2009 - Weight Loss | Jan 2009 - Weight Loss | Dec 2008 - Weight Loss | Dec 2008 - Diet Programs |

Dec 2008 - Dieting | Dec 2008 - Diets | Nov 2008 - Dieting |

 

(C) Copyright 2010 All rights reserved.