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My first question is: Is match.com worth joining?.

My next question is: Kind of a silly question, but I've been wondering..

The guy I've been seeing for about 2 months likes to kiss my ankles and my feet during sex - when they are around his shoulders, also if we are doing doggy, he often kisses my back ....

Are these romantic gestures? or just a fetish or purely sexual thing??.

I was wondering if this is a way that of him showing his feelings at all? being sweet/romantic...

He does tell me he really likes me and cares about me, but says he doesn't know how to say what he thinks we are..  friends who have sex? a couple?  ya know.. just said he wants to think about the answer, but has a lot going on.. which he does - his mom is in very poor health and he has to drive over an hour some days to help take care of her.. and also started a new job this week... and other things going on..  he also says that his mom and his family are his number one priority, and he is totally focused on them right now... and right now they are taking a lot of his time...  anyway...

I saw him last night, we had "a talk" about his time commitments to his family... (see above)  Later on in the early am, we had sex, and he again started kissing my ankles and feet as they were kinda on his shoulders... he does it so sweetly too..

I guess I'm hoping his little gestures might reveal what I hope he's feeling for me and not yet ready to say....

Or am I just grasping?.

 ..

Comments (7)

Your question was: Is match.com worth joining?.

It sounds like he likes to kiss. Now to figure if you are friends with more or a couple ...dont guess you need to ask him so you noth are clear whats going on. As fr as all the kissing. WOW My kind of man ...I love to kiss all over a mans body...maybe not ankles or feet but truly every where my lips can go I will go.  )..

Comment #1

Just sent the Jerk an Email saying I don't think I can see him anymore.. why? LAST NIGHT!.

He posted a blog on myspace calling me (without naming ME) a friend who was a jerk and badgered him about his commitment to his family and he said.

" were people who I thought were my friends. but I guess not. because if they were they wouldn't have done this. I mean i've had one person basically badger me about why I care about my family so much! are you f_ckin kidding me?! I was over that for a minute but the more I think about it, the more pissed I get about it again. the fu_kin nerve of that jerkass!! I don't have to answer every text or every call I get. especially when i'm taking care of the fam."   - there was more at the end, after writing about another "friend" also, rather cruel things, saying we werent good friends and stuff...

WOW that one hurt! I was not badgering him, but saying I was feeling pretty insignificant - he even told me he didnt think he could give 1% of his efforts when he was dealing with his mom/family... I was tryin to be understanding, I really was, but apparently I was a jerk! (and for the record, I didnt hear from him for a whole week, except for one little IM sayin - hi, how are u, i've been busy and tired..) not one "call or text"  or a response to the few texts and one or two calls I gave just sayin - hey how are u, how's the new job?...).

So I saw this immediately after he posted it, and texted him, saying wtf? is this what you think of me..?  He goes on to say, it was how he was feeling "at the time" about it, and he was upset bla bla.  I told him it really hurt, even told him it was making me cry.  He said sorry, he didnt mean to hurt me (WTF AGAIN??) but that was how he was feeling at the time.  He said I was significant or he wouldnt still be talking to me then.. (AGAIN WTF).

He tired to play the "you hurt me too angle" by "badgering him" about his fam, I said I didnt publicly write that you were a jerk using some cruel and spiteful words (wether he "named me" or not) !!.

He posted another blog soon after, saying "My words are like weapons." But I think altho part of it was an apology, it was also saying I am not sorry for how I felt, I'm only sorry that how I felt hurt those I care about.. and sorry that my eloquntly spoken well thought out sentences can be like weapons!.

SHEEESH!!!!.

I sent him a long email earlier saying I don't think I could see him anymore, cuz I think I'm just too hurt..

He is at work and don't think he's seen it yet.....

Thing is... as always.. I thought he was different. thought he was a sweet guy, and ironicaly I thought he was a really decent guy for being there for and caring so much for his family etc..

WOW!  ONCE AGAIN - I am proved wrong about someone I guess!  It sucks cuz I really liked him, and he said he really liked me, even the other night... when I was there and we had the "discussion" and later on we just hung out... one of my texts to him last night, I asked if he felt that way about me while I was over there? HE said, not gona lie, I thought about it a little bit... I was like.. DAMN!! That Fu_kn hurts!!!.

I didnt think he could hurt me that much, but I guess I just felt that much for him, and it came back to bite me! Again!.

 .

 ..

Comment #2

Well, ending this is for the best for sure. But - and I say this because I don't know either of you and he obviously has a very different story than you do - you should listen to what he's saying and spin it around in your head a little bit. When you think about what you did and said to him, think of how HE perceived it. Maybe you were pretty demanding, maybe you could have eased off about the commitment talks, maybe you did give him kind of a hard time about his family and maybe you do get too bent out of shape without getting a text right away. I'm not saying he's 100% right because I can't be sure, but there's a REASON he feels that these things are true. Think about it. It will help your next relationship...

Comment #3

I think small gestures of kissing, stroking one's hair and skin during sex are gestures of tenderness..

So, YES, I think he is showing you caring, non verbally while doing these things..

And I don't think the feet kissing is that fetish, really.  Kissing someones toes, ears, back...whatever...it's all good and it's all tender..

 .

Soliel..

Comment #4

Well it shows how immature he is and stupid. When people have to talk through profiles and post crap like that it only says ...DRAMA. it proves he cant talk to anyone face to face ...people who only talk anout thier feeling trhough psts and texts dont have a maturity level of an adult..

Comment #5

He's being honest about what's going on with him right now. It seems like a sweet, affectionate gesture and he says he cares but I wouldn't push for anything more right now..

,..

Comment #6

'Kind' of a silly question??? Lilsweetie681, you sound very little indeed. Sorry mate. Are you seriously asking this? His kissing your anything during sex is his sexual preference with girls, full stop. It has nothing whatsoever to do with any feelings or emotions. It wouldn't have anything to do with how he felt even if you were in a committed r-ship. You are totally totally just grasping.

Wish you all the best..

Edited 2/12/2009 12:24 pm ET by newlyfoundsunshine..

Comment #7


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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