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Is Match.com for real or is it a scam?

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My question is: Is Match.com for real or is it a scam?.

Okay, so here's the deal.  There's a guy who works next door to where I work, and I have finally admitted to myself (and friends) that I am interested.  He had asked about me previously (whether I was single) and I didn't think I was interested. After getting to know him more, he is such a great person, and we have sooooo much in common.  I find myself thinking about him a lot, and looking forward to seeing him every day.  I want to find out more about his relationship (thru Match.com) status, he mentions his girlfriend occasionally, but I really don't know how serious they are, or how long they have been together.  I feel like he might be interested in me, but I really can't tell - he might just be being friendly.  He's said that he would like to go out with a friend and I the next time we hit happy hour after work.  I'm thinking that will be an opportunity to "feel him out" and find out more about his girlfriend.  He's divorced and I have been single FOREVER...   I'm just suprised at how interested I have suddenly become in him.  Is this wrong?  I feel like I am in 6th grade and I want to pass him a note and see if he likes me.  I am taking more opportunites to find reasons to talk and hang out with him while at work.  He definitely seems like he is not the type to cheat, and that is NOT what I am looking for.  I just want him to be single!!!! Thoughts?  Suggestions?  Anyone else had a "crush" on someone and waited for them to be single? Help!..

Comments (8)

When I met my current boyfriend, he had a girlfriend.  We met at night at a city monument.  The *very next day* he broke up with her and then he and I were together from that point.     .

My opinion is that he will probably have picked up on extra attention you've been paying to him and if he's interested in you, you will not be confused.  You will know it and he will ask you out.    If he does not do that, then it will be apparent that he is not that into you.     It doesn't matter if he is single if he's not interested in you anyway. .

 So what I'm saying is is if you're giving him signals that you like him and he is not asking you out, then he's probably not interested..

"Anyone else had a "crush" on someone and waited for them to be single?".

Why in God's name would someone ever wait?  What's the point of that?  Talk about desperate, pathetic, and a total waste of time.   ..

Comment #1

Thanks for your input, but it seems a tad more complicated than that.  I can see someone breaking up with someone they had been seeing for a short time, but what if you've been dating (online dating with Match.com) that person for years? Relationships are complicated.  If someone is in a relationship (thru Match.com) they know isn't working, it still takes time and emotional effort to get out.  How long was your boyfriend with his previous GF before he broke up with her to ask you out?  Do you not worry that he might do the same thing to you?.

My choice of words "waiting for them to be single" was a poor one.  I have no intention of waiting for someone to be single.  I guess I just wanted input on whether I should I try to stop thinking about it and just treat him as a friend who happens to be a guy...instead of trying to indicate to him that I would be interested in going out with him.  I am currently doing some online dating (online dating with Match.com) and still trying to meet people, I've just not ever met anyone who seemed so perfect for me... and I never say things like that.  I just really like him, and can't seem to shake it.  I was just interested in hearing other stories like yours.  I do not intend to plan my life around whether this guy is single!  I also feel a little guilty about it, since he is in a relationship.  I just need more information.....

Comment #2

If you go out for happy hour you can find out more about him.  Many people stay in a relationship (thru Match.com) way past it's prime because they dont want to be alone.  So if he is unhappy in his relationship (thru Match.com) it may be one of those things.  However, just remember that about him cuz that will be his relationship (thru Match.com) m.o...

Comment #3

He was with her for three years.  And no, I don't worry because his ex is not me.  When he met me, he knew his feelings for me were so strong that he couldn't be with the other girl anymore.  I realize every situation won't be like mine and some others will need more time, but sometimes you just feel such a connection with someone else, there's nothing else to think about, and that's how it was for my bf with me.    .

And if he did break up with me for another girl, good for him -  I'd rather that than him cheat on me.  And if he did break up with me for another girl, good for him - why would I want someone to stay with me if he wasn't that into me anymore?  So no, I do not worry.  Only insecure people worry and insecurity is not attractive.  Being insecure is a sure-fire way to lose your significant other. .

If I liked a guy who had a girlfriend, I personally would put vibes out that I was interested in him like lightly flirt or whatever and *if he returned it*, I'd just be straight-up and be like, "I know you have a girlfriend.  If you want to go out, obviously ull have to break up with her".  And if he doesn't then I know he doesn't like me that much after all and that's the end of that one.  I have to stress that this is what I personally would do.  You have to decide for yourself of course what is best and right in your situation because you are the one with the feel for the circumstances and the particular guy etc..

Comment #4

Omg Snafu you're so right!  I had this one friend before who was staying with his gf just because he didn;t want to be alone.  He said he didnt love her anymore but he was staying with her because it was comfortable.  He said that to me!  I was pretty shocked. ..

Comment #5

I stayed in a bad relationship (thru Match.com) for 8 years.  i had invested so much time and emotional energy... i knew how hard it would be to break up, and he had successfully obliterated my self-esteem so it was hard for me to realize I had other options.  once I started taking anti-depressants and found myself interested in other guys, I knew it was time.  I didn't actually date using Match.com the other guys I was interested in, it was just another signal that I needed out (i never cheated.)  I know what it's like to be in a no-good relationship (thru Match.com) and stay for all the wrong reasons..

My other question is... the fact that he asked my friend's husband about me and whether I was single...part of me thinks it was just a small-talk question, but part of me (and other people I ask) think it means he is interested.   thoughts?..

Comment #6

When I wonder about something that means I want to have an answer.  I solve that by just asking the person directly. ..

Comment #7

"my other question is... the fact that he asked my friend's husband about me and whether I was single...part of me thinks it was just a small-talk question, but part of me (and other people I ask) think it means he is interested.   thoughts?".

Did your friend's husband ask why?  Men dont usually ask about a woman just to made idle chit chat so ... maybe he is interested.  If you dont mind, your friend's husband could ask him if he is interested...

Comment #8


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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