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Is Match.com a legit dating site?

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My question is: Is Match.com a legit dating site?.

Here's my question, I have posted before about this but now I am really wondering if we are done or is he punishing me for what I did. Been seeing this man for about 7 months now and last Wednesday I called him up and gave him crap for making plans with someone else (friend) when he said days before that we could do something if he doesn't work. He offered to cancel his plans but NO, I am stubborn and said no you go out and have fun and I will go out and have fun and then hung up on him. I am so worried now because he hasn't called me since last Wednesday, which is going on 5 days now. I have called him all weekend and left messages apologizing and letting him know that I was wrong. He never returned any of my calls and he never answered any of them either.

Do you think I am just being ignored to be punished because it was my fault, to teach me a lesson? or do you think that this is his way of saying that it's over? He has told me many times that if he doesn't want to see me anymore than he would tell me, that I would know that he doesn't want this anymore. So, should I assume that he would just answer the phone when I called and said don't call me back anymore? Do guys just ignore and let you call them over and over and leave messages for them as a way to end the relationship? What do yout think? I know I messed up, I don't doubt that, I was wrong in what I did. How can I fix it?..

Comments (4)

Standing up for yourself is never "wrong" - but if you were mean about it - maybe he could feel it could have been handled differently..

Dont call him and apologize for standing up for yourself because you just set the stage for him to do it to you again.  If you feel you were unduly harsh in tone or word with him, then that is different...

Comment #1

You have become a man's worst nightmare - a crazy psycho chick - you go off on him because your trying to force him into meeting your expectations didn't work. He choose to do soemthing else and that made you mad - so you OVER reacted in a very immature and childish manner.  Then to add more fuel to the fire, you went to the opposite extreme of groveling, begging, pleading and OVER apologizing.  What about this would any sane person want to deal with? they wouldn't. Over reacting never works and never brings people closer..

Hon - this entire 'relationship' has been pushed and coercedby you and it's been fraught with conflict from the get go - and you have been well advised to end it - but you continued to push and here you are in this mess. There is no 'fixing' when a woman becomes a 'crazy' - it is very clear that you are not in control of your emotions. I am by no means saying this guy has done no wrong - but he isn't the one here asking for advice - you are.

For the thousandth time - let this go - this guy has said from the beginning that he did not want a serious relationship (thru Match.com) and no amount of forcing and crazyiness on your part will change it - do you like what you have become here? I seriously doubt it. .

Get yourself together.  I say this with all kindness - you need to grow up. Leave this alone..

Toni..

Comment #2

Ok, don't listen to anyone who says you didn't do anything "wrong" ... you know you did and you've acknowledged that.  .

A well-balanced, mature man will not 'put up with' stuff like this for long (little tantrums, being hung up on).   His not wanting to deal with that type of thing doesn't mean you're not a priority.  That means he knows that type of behavior isn't what he wants in his life..

How to fix it?  You can't.  You've tried calling and apologizing.   As one last straw, you could send a hand-written card with an apology and note that you will not contact him anymore but that if he wants to talk about what happened, that you will be around.  That's IT!  Not a big 'ol letter.   A nice card with a small note will do just fine..

Also, when he said he would let you know if he didn't want to see you anymore, that may have been under different circumstances ... frankly, he is probably just hurt by your actions ... and oftentimes, when men are hurt by something/someone, they often tend to just keep to themselves.  Women, on the other hand, we like to confront and talk it out.

Chalk it up to lesson learned .......

Comment #3

Hi mamabear,.

I hate to say this, but I think this relationship (thru Match.com) is done.  Don't make yourself look foolish!!! Stop calling  - this makes you look desperate.  I think one of the most attractive things to a man is that we can have a balance of independence and togetherness.  It's one of the hardest things to figure out, and I have to admit that I'm still working on this, but it's really important to a guy that we can do this. .

I'd say live and learn on this one and do it better next time..

Best wishes!!!.

 .

           ..

Comment #4


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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