Is eHarmony, Yahoo Personals, and hiring racist tech support personnel....?

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My first question is: Is eHarmony, Yahoo Personals, and hiring racist tech support personnel....?.

My next question is: Do you think sleeping with a guy too early ruins the chance of a relationship (thru developing and having it turn into a FWB situation? I like him so far. there is chemistry. we are still in the process of getting to know each other. this could work out or not. is sleeping with him going to ruin everything? how long do you wait until you take the next step? just based on chemistry? or do you wait a while to see where the relationship (thru is going?..

Comments (7)

Your question was: Is eHarmony, Yahoo Personals, and hiring racist tech support personnel....?.

I agree going into a new relationship (thru should be done without expectations from either party.  I know from my own personal mistakes that having expectations and getting emtionally and physically involved to soon has proved disasterous for me..

I also think your are right about if it's meant to be it will pan out.  I know now for myself I want to be valued as a person and not just because we have sex and that might be the only thing we have in common..




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My next door neighbor.

Wants to ban all guns.


Out of respect for their opinion I will not protect.

Them with my guns..

Comment #1

I think because I can't become emotionally unattached, it's best that I don't, unless I know for sure, I can handle it if things don't work out. then again, even without sex, when things don't work out, you'll still feel hurt...

Comment #2

I too need to be emotionally attached to have sex.  I cant and dont do 1 night stands..

Yes ending a relationship (thru is always painful thats why I am a firm believer in the grieving/healing process after a breakup.  A person needs time to go through all the emotions and take time out from dating (online dating with to pamper themselves, get to know themselves, likes, dislikes, wants and so forth.  I also in the past have not allowed this for myself and was unable to maintain any type of lasting relationship..

But it's all part of dating, so if we are going to date using then we have to be willing to take some lumps along the way.  What comes to mind here is Garth Brooks song, The Dance,.....I could have missed the pain, But I'd have had to miss the dance.....


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My next door neighbor.

Wants to ban all guns.


Out of respect for their opinion I will not protect.

Them with my guns..

Comment #3

I wouldn't say for sure it ruins a relationship (thru but it does stress it, uneccesarily so..

Sleeping together too early put physical intimacy in the relationship (thru before emotional intimacy....making it unbalanced..

It stresses the relationship (thru because most of the time, after the deed is done, expectations pop up (usually from the female) and thus the male feels pressured or it feels awkward or rushed..

So, I would say, if you really like someone...WAIT.   No one can tell  you when it's could be when you feel understood, it could be when you feel very comfy will have to choose..

But I would say later is always better than sooner..



Comment #4

IMO - a guy tends to know pretty quickly whether or not the woman who he is dating (online dating with is someone who he wants to date using seriously, date using because he just needs a companion and doesnt want to be alone, just wants sex from, etc..

So - if a guy ends up being a FWB with you because you slept with him early in a relationship (thru then that is what was going to happen anyway OR he would just date using you because he feels he needs to have the companionship of a gf in his life. .

The other scenario is the madonna/whore complex guy who passes judgment on that - who determines in his mind that if you sleep with him by date using "x" then you are not fit to receive his love. Meanwhile he's screwing around himself - but he feels he is worthy of love, why not you?  Again, just my opinion, but I wouldnt want to seriously date using a guy who passes that type of judgment because you will unknowingly be immersed in a relationship (thru where rules for you and rules for him are different...

Comment #5

Basically, yes, I think it really hurts your chances of a relationship (thru forming, but not always. I personally want to wait, and if a man really wants you, he will be willing to wait until you are ready. I'm not saying I have to wait until we've made a major commitment to each other, but I do expect sexual exclusivity if we start having sex. I used to worry so much more about pleasing a man and felt great pressure to have sex too soon. As I've gotten older, I see the value in letting the man please ME, and that includes waiting until I'm ready. Believe me, I'm no prude and I want to have sex just as much as he does.

If he can't respect that, then it's not going to happen for me.You may really enjoy John Gray's "Mars and Venus on a Date." He's got some cheesy stuff in his book, but I found the man's perspective very eye opening...

Comment #6

It doesn't have to ruin things but it definitely puts new pressures on a relationship. On the whole it's better to get to know one another first.


Comment #7

This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.


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