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Is E-Harmony as good as it says? Or is it just another Yahoo, match.com, etc....?

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My first question is: Is E-Harmony as good as it says? Or is it just another Yahoo, match.com, etc....?.

My next question is: Topic removed.

Edited 7/30/2008 12:00 pm ET by js17..

Comments (9)

Your question was: Is E-Harmony as good as it says? Or is it just another Yahoo, match.com, etc....?.

It's only been six weeks and he should still be in his best behavior, "impressing you" phase and it concerns me that he isn't.

There is a difference between being laid back and being lax. I am afraid he is the latter... Not calling when he says he will, Calling only to set up dates, Not returning your text and calls in a timely manner and sometimes not at all. All these are bad signs of his interest level.

If you decide to give him a chance I would suggest that you see other people as well and make time for him only if you have no other plans. Don't text or call unless he steps up his frequency. You have  a life as well and your time and effort is as valuable as his.... Spend it nurturing a relationship (thru Match.com) with potential. Good Luck!   .

 ..

Comment #1

If he wasn't at all interested, he wouldn't still be calling and asking you out. He's not obsessive about it, like many new relationships are. But then you've only been dating (online dating with Match.com) for six weeks. Maybe he wants to take the time to get to know you before letting things get too serious. If it really bothers you to have to wait for his text messages and calls, you can always speak to him about it and see if his behavior improves before giving up on him...

Comment #2

It's only been 6 weeks, you are not a priority in his life right now and he shouldn't be one in yours. Usually when a guy is into you he doesn't leave any doubt.Maybe he is not a phone/text person not everyone is, personally I think texting is a very immature way to communicate unless it is a quick text to let you know he is running late or not, something of that nature. Maybe he doesn't have texting as part of his package on his cell phone so it costs more to text and receive texts, the thing is you don't know yet, it is still early yet. If it bothers you then speak with him about it and see what he says.You shouldn't "play" at anything. Continue on with your life, just like before he came into it, don't wait around for his calls, if he steps up contact then you know he is interested, but don't "play".. keep your life busy, date using Match.com other people, if he calls and you are available then go if not suggest another time...

Comment #3

He's playing way TOO cool.  It is one thing for a person to take his time in getting close to someone and it is another thing to ignore texts and not even explain why.  His coolness would be a turnoff to me...

Comment #4

As another poster stated, when a man is into you, they leave you in no doubt.  My take is that this man has some interest and attraction but the fact that he has not returned calls/texts, is not a great sign in my opinion.  I do think that when a man is truly interested, they pursue you and they are reliable because they don't want to let you get away. .

While I don't think there is any reason not to continue to accept dates to see if things progress (and it is early days, so there is still a chance that they could) I would not put all your eggs in his basket..

Coolas..

Comment #5

Dear js17..

I read your post and must say it sounds as if your friend is not as interested as you...which means he's more than likely seeing someone else.  How serious he is with her is unknown, but there is definitely someone else that is holding his attention.  Note that all people long to be close to someone. They want to share the ups and downs of their day with someone and have physical contact with someone... If that person is not you, trust and believe that it is someone else.

I'm just finishing a book on dating (online dating with Match.com) and it will be hitting stores in the next 12-18 months.  I have tested and tried every theory in my new guide, so from research I know that his behavior is SCREAMING that he is seeing someone else. .

Schedules matter very little when it comes to making time for the object of your affection.  Ask yourself does your schedule get in YOUR way when you want to speak to or contact him or could you find time to sneak away and chat...i.e., lunch, breaks, after work?  (The creation of cell phones and texting has made contact even more easier!)  So you can still make accommodations right?  And so can he! .

The next decision is up to you.  Are you going to end all contact or continue to be his gal-pal?  I personally believe if you still want to hang out with him when you have nothing better to do...that is perfectly fine, so feel free!  But I would not suggest you get emotionally attached to him and this situation.  You should go out with your girlfriends, meet new guys, start new relationships and be open to different possibilities. Embrace being single...because when you're in a relationship, meeting new guys, starting new relationships and being open to possibilities comes to a halt!  So enjoy dating (online dating with Match.com) while you're dating (online dating with Match.com) for this season will soon come to an end...husbands and toddlers will someday be your new priority!  Make sure you're having loads of fun while you can still just focus on yourself!  I'm sure you know the importance of doing the things that YOU enjoy doing and that make you happy!  In the mean-time, you definitely deserve a man who wants to give you his attention and hear your voice everyday!  If he doesn't have an urge to contact you daily, he's trying to string you along... .

Like I said, "don't sweat it!"  Meet new guys and start hanging out with them.  (When you haven't called or you refuse or cancel a date using Match.com or two with him because of a "busy weekend," he'll stand up and take notice immediately!)  However, if you have nothing better to do, why not hang out with him anway?  But only for your "entertainment" and when you're bored!  Please...waste no more of your energy wondering what he's doing and if he's as serious as you are...he's not!  But don't worry about it!  He's letting you know what he wants through his behavior and you can't fault him for that.  But you also shouldn't waste your time clamoring for an undeserving man's attention!.

Hope this helps!  And make this weekend the weekend you get out there and meet new people!.

 .

Sincerely,.

 .

Mevans.busi..

Comment #6

I don't think it really matters why he's doing what he's doingthe question is, are you ok with it, or not?  To me it sounds like a personality thing (him being laid back about planning and returning calls) and the two of you may just not be compatible..

Sheri..

Comment #7

I agree. If he isn't treating you well now in the courtship phase what does that say about the future? Have you tried to communicate what you feel would be respectful behavior? If he can't comply that is a strong message..

,..

Comment #8

It's actually better to take things slow and really get to know one another versus starting off like a house afire and sputtering out which happens if friendship is not a component to a new relationship.

,..

Comment #9


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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