Insult or compliment for a woman?

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I met a really attractive and intelligent woman at a party a few weeks ago. It was a public event at an art gallery. We had been talking for a good half hour and really seemed to be hitting it off. Then, things suddenly went downhill. I commented that she had a nice, full, hourglass figure. I thought she would take it as a compliment.

She snapped, "Oh really....well perhaps I should do some plus size modeling!", and then she slapped my face and walked away. Needless to say, it was not my proudest moment ;-)She had the classic figure of a 50's pinup - large bust, narrow waist, shapely hips/legs. I guess she had interpreted "hourglass" as meaning big/overweight/full figured. I just thought it meant shapely and well proportioned. Also, I'm wondering if she may have been hypersensitive about her figure to begin with.

She may have always felt awkward about being so voluptuous.My buddies had watched the scene unfold and were laughing hysterically. When I told them what I had said they shook their heads and said it was never a good idea to comment on a woman's figure, even if I thought it was complimentary. What are your thoughts on this?..

Comments (12)

Your question was: Insult or compliment for a woman?.

I would find that comment inappropriate from someone I'd just met at a gathering like that, regardless of whether I thought it was a compliment or not.But to slap your face over that (or anything for that matter)???? She's clearly got a screw or two looseI think you dodged a bullet.Sheri..

Comment #1

Stan82...Pianoguy agrees with Sheri! The slap wasn't necessary, but neither was your remark! Depending upon her proportion and body weight, it doesn't require a PHD to interpret an 'hour-glass figure' as one that's PLEASING PLUMP! You might have intended it as a compliment...but you could have made a positive comment about her hair or smile instead!Now...go stand in the corner for the next hour!Pianoguy..

Comment #2

I am half Vietnamese too and my sister is as well my sister is the one that has that lady body type and that is offensive I am petite like my Mother she takes after our father(white).


Comment #3

It is usually best to err on the side of caution when you are first getting to know someone and not comment in a way where it could be misinterpreted or taken as a rude come-on. Your comment could go either way. You were not at a gathering, like a singles event, where women know men are going to be checking them out, thinking about their bodies or even commenting on their looks, and even THEN your comment would be questioned by a woman. Please dont take offense, but I have not a clue how men have been able to run the world for so long given the comments men tend to make without thinking them through or even trying to learn the language of the opposite sex...

Comment #4

<<But to slap your face over that (or anything for that matter)???? She's clearly got a screw or two looseI think you dodged a bullet.>>Well, it wasn't as if she wound up with all her might and smacked me. It was just a little, feminine slap meant to embarrass me, and I do think she was acting mostly on emotion, as she seemed genuinely offended. It's really an afterthought and I'm much more concerned that I made her so upset. However, I will never forget those agonizing moments in the immediate aftermath...the sound of her high heels hitting the hard wood floor as she walked off in a huff...the looks and stares of the onlookers as I'm standing there alone rubbing my cheek...not exactly my proudest moment, LOL...

Comment #5

Stan_82...Pianoguy's only other suggestion is to "try and learn from the experience" and be careful what comes out of your mouth!Some women handle teasing or compliments very gracefully....others assume a man has "an ulterior motive!" And that's the reason you got SLAPPED!Pianoguy..

Comment #6

Mmmm, yeah. Even if done "femininely", hitting someone isn't appropriate behavior. I mean, even toddlers know they are supposed to "use their words", and that hitting isn't allowed!And while your comment wasn't appropriate, either, two wrongs don't make a right!Sheri..

Comment #7

If someone made that comment to me I may take it as sort of a compliment but it wouldn't say much about the guy who said it. It's not a very tactful (read: classy) comment to make. I probably wouldn't slap the guy but I would shortly thereafter find some excuse to end the conversation. Watch what you say!..

Comment #8

"Hourglass" is definitely NOT "pleasingly plump" as someone else said...but maybe that's what she thought it meant.36-24-3638-23-3534-22-34...those could all be hourglass.32-22-3231-20-3132-20-32...those are all preying mantises. Which some women believe that men prefer. And some men do. Gay fashion designers, mostly. (As opposed to straight fashion designers...)..

Comment #9

<<"Hourglass" is definitely NOT "pleasingly plump" as someone else said...but maybe that's what she thought it meant.36-24-3638-23-3534-22-34...those could all be hourglass.>>Ah ok. I would estimate that she was a 36dd-26-36. She was also rather short, like 5'3", and probably about 130 lbs. Definitely a thick and curvy body type...

Comment #10

"Even if done "femininely", hitting someone isn't appropriate behavior." agreed and the same holds true for men and let's throw in throwing drinks on each other while we are at it...

Comment #11

The term you are looking for is voluptuous. (caught a typo here, sorry, I type too fast)If you say "thick" to a woman you will insult her again because she will equate that to "fat". I will disregard your estimated measurements because I'm sure you don't know what 36dd-26-36 looks like.Do you have any males in your family who could give you a crash course on how to talk to a woman?.

Edited 6/14/2007 10:40 am ET by snafu2006..

Comment #12

This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.


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