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I'm username 'chuluck' on match.com and looking for someone special...can you help?

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My first question is: I'm username 'chuluck' on match.com and looking for someone special...can you help?.

My next question is: I have been dating (online dating with Match.com) this guy for 3 weeks.  I know that is not too long but it is someone I had been friends with in the past and we have always been interested in each other, so when we ran into each other we just started dating (online dating with Match.com) right away.  He told me he was interested in being a relationship (thru Match.com) and I was everything he looked for in a girl.  We have talked everyday since we ran into each other and have hungout almost everyday.  He has made an effort to drive 3 hours away to see me, meet my family, and take me to hang out with his family numerous times. (We both have only introduced 1 other person to our families in the past.)  Things have been amazing and I have never dated anyone so sweet, respectful, and unselfish.  He has everything going for him and has made it obvious to me,  his family, my family, and our friends that he likes me.  Yesterday, we ran errands together in the morning and he helped me with things about my apt and left around 1.  He was going to a party last night at 8, he told me he was only going for a few hours, but when I did not hear from him by 11, I called.  I never heard from him (He ALWAYS answers or calls me right back).  At 4:30 today, I still had not heard from him so I called again.  I was worried, this was so unlike him, we talk fairly often throughout the day.  It is now 9:15 and I still have not heard from him.  WHAT HAPPENED? WHAT IS WRONG?..

Comments (4)

Your question was: I'm username 'chuluck' on match.com and looking for someone special...can you help?.

There could be a reasonable explanation, dead cell phone, some type of emergency, he got the flu, etc.  Dont panic just yet..

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Them with my guns..

Comment #1

That is definitely strange behavior.  He'll could call you within the week.  But now his lack of a return phone call has caused you to be concerned about him and if he just got lazy and didnt feel like calling or is just playing games then you might have an inconsiderate jerk on your hands. That happened to me once many years ago.  I didnt get a return phone call from someone who I was seeing and, of course, I got concerned that he was okay and he calls me back after about a week saying "I wasnt going to let that go on for too long".  Then I realized he did it on purpose to pull the rug out from under me a bit and then I broke things off with him...

Comment #2

I think you should calm down and give it a little more time.  It's only been a day.  I certainly hope you hear from your friend soon and that everything is OK.  But even if you have to wait a while longer it won't help for you to continue going nuts and concluding that something is wrong. .

I understand you've been friends with him for a while, so you feel his behavior it out of the norm.  But things are different once a relationship (thru Match.com) turns romantic.  You can hardly know what is "normal" for him after only 3 weeks.  I cannot even begin to list all the possible reasons why he hasn't called.  But (barring a real emergency) I think you should assume that he's doing his thing (whatever that is) and he'll get in touch with you when he can.  You didn't say you 2 were in a committed relationship (thru Match.com) or dating (online dating with Match.com) exclusively, so he's really not obligated to call you daily, or tell you where he's been, what he's been doing, etc. .

I know you've already left worried messages on his vm, but please don't leave any more.  When you do hear from him, I also suggest that you DON'T chastise him for not calling you sooner.  Just remember you don't have that kind of claim over each other at this point.  You need to lighten up and let things happen.  You'll sleep better! .

Again, I hope everything is fine with your friend. .

Jilly..

Comment #3

Hmmm... it could be nothing or it could be a case of 2 much 2 soon and he's loosing interest.  Are you still keeping your own interests? going out with friends? Being unavailable to him sometimes?  Sounds like you are revolving your life around his and after only 3 weeks, that could scare a guy off.   Guys can be very sweet until they get what they want and then they loose interest.  Playing a little hard to get is always good advice.   I myself, would have waited for him to call me after the party or the next day... it's almost like you're checking up on him.  I would say no more phone calls and be unavailable sometimes; keep your own set of friends and go out with them lots!!!  Let him pursue... he might need time to think.  Don't smother him...

Comment #4


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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