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If i deleted my memembership with match.com what will happen to this?........?

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My first question is: If I deleted my memembership with match.com what will happen to this?........?.

My next question is: I'm desperate for help on this situation. I am dating (online dating with Match.com) a middle aged married man and I am 23. I know that sounds terrible, but he and his wife have a tacit, but undiscussed agreement that these things are going to go on in their relationship. To be perfectly honest, I'm crazy about him. I'm really insecure about my dateability despite the fact that I'm healthy, thin and pretty good looking. My best friend is not very careful about fanning these insecurities in me.

I know that these feelings I have are a combination of her attitude and my own incredible insecurities that I have for some reason. She has also had a brief "thing" with this man, but it didn't work out. My relationship (thru Match.com) with him has worked out, so far, but I am overcome with feelings of insecurity. I don't want to spend time with this friend anymore. I just want to be reassured that I'm attractive or at least be told what is wrong with me so that I can deal with it or fix it.

This is the most complicated situation I've ever been in.Please help me!..

Comments (4)

Your question was: If I deleted my memembership with match.com what will happen to this?........?.

Hon,The best thing you can do for yourself is get in counseling, get rid of the affair, get rid of your so called "friend" (she doesn't sound like much of a friend) get some self respect and self esteem for yourself...NO one can give you that, it comes from within. If you don't love and respect yourself NO one else will.Get rid of this married man, he is not yours, he will never be, he is a liar all cheaters are... until you realize you deserve better than to be someone's "side" dish that is all you will ever be.Eventually someone will find out, it always gets found out.You deserve to be respected and loved but you must first do that for yourself.Good luck..

Comment #1

1. married guy = immoral and gross.  and then your best friend went with him too? double gross..

2. some bestfriend.  why do you call her that?.

3. what do you think is at the root of your insecurities?  what exactly r you insecure about if your so thin, pretty etc.

Im sure everyone will tell you to break it off.  yes, maybe he is sweet to u, great etc.. but he is married.  your really ok with him going home to someone else every night?  dont you want and deserve someone who is focused on you and not another woman at the same time as well?  I'm just saying.. we tend to put x person on a pedestal, but if you really think about it, theyre not as great as you make them out to be. .

We hang on to people bec they make us feel so good for a period of time.  but if your worried people will find out, is that really feeling good?  if you have to hide your relationship, is that a real relationship? ..

Comment #2

I agree 100% with the other posters, whose advice to you is right on-point.   I hope that you listen to them, us..

I've been around long enough to see what's become of the married guys who've hit on me or have had affairs that I know about.  Let me tell you some truths.  He will tell you bad things about his wife, but he will stay with her nonetheless.  He will say he's going to get divorced, but he won't.   He will act like he cares about your feelings but the very fact that he put you in this position shows that he doesn't care at all about your feelings, not at all, this is only about his ego.  He will promise confidentiality and then brag (seriously, a friend / colleauge of mine who was having an affair actually forwarded a couple of her e-mails to him to me, now how rotten of him was that).  And if there are any issues, he will blame & humiliate you.  Oh, and the one man that I know who actually did leave his wife, well, as soon as the divorce was final, he dumped the other woman.  Yep, the only one I know who left his wife dumped the mistress and is now dating (online dating with Match.com) others. .

Run like the wind..

As building your confidence  you need to find a base of people who will support you and help you feel good about yourself.  Dump the married guy and the rotten friend.  ..

Comment #3

"but he and his wife have a tacit, but undiscussed agreement that these things are going to go on in their relationship.".

And you know this how?  Have you spoken with said wife?  And if it's "undiscussed' how can there be an agreement?  Does that make a lot of sense to you?.

You say you're thin, good looking, etc, but insecure.  Why insecure?  Because your friend tells you that you should be? .

You're only 23 and pretty gullible, but there is absolutely no excuse for getting involved with a married man.  As the others have said, you need to drop Mr Tells You What You Want To Hear and that so-called friend.  Then you need to find yourself a single guy your own age...

Comment #4


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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