Your question was: I would like to know why I cant sign on to my match.com account?.
Thanks to all who replied to by post... I cannot tell you how much it helps to honest opinions from people who have no obligation to my feelings... I'm doing the best that I can not to contact him... We've done the friends w/ benifits thing twice the last time was last Friday... needless to say I haven't heard a word from him... I've gone out w/ my brother & met a couple of men whom I gave my phone # to...
Wish me luck... Thanks again, Tina.
Well as some one who has had a friends withbennies for almost 2 years and at the beginning of this month he found a GF and ironically I was starting to become verysad when I let him not knowing if it was the last time. It wrked for us...I have 5 kids and he is a cop and I am 50 miles away. We both knew this wasnt a forever thing. But we are human with human needs. He was always honest as was I. That is all you can be and follow the rule of dont ask dont tell. And if he asks about any other relationships..you need to remind him what you guys are and arent.
But sometims we have to live in the moment and not to worry so much about what it will be or wont be. If you start getting to a point where it bothers you that you arent in a committed relationship (thru Match.com) then you need to lethim know and its time to end it for you or find out if he wants more. If not...then move on..
If you feel you have settled...then this will not work for you.
Edited 1/27/2009 9:16 pm ET by bitemex5..
I thought I'd update all on the progress of my first trial run w/ this friends w/ benifits thing...
I texted him to see if he wanted to see me... (we haven't talked/texted since last Friday) anyway I got the impression he isn't even interested in unconditional sex on-demand... go figure... so thanks again to everyone who responded I've learned alot. .
I still hate dating (online dating with Match.com) but have learned this isn't going to be easy, so I'd better get some thicker skin & some self-respect...
I've just signed up for match.com and the 1st guy that responded said we lived too far apart, but scared the hell out of me to becareful...
Great... more info follow...
Tina : )..
Best advise I ever got... Thx.. & Good luck w/ finding what you want & need. ..
I have what I want in my life..with or with out a man. But thank you...that was nice of you to tell me that. My friends with bennies guy was the only one I have ever done that with and I personally dont think I will ever be able to do that with another. It was just something in my gut that said it was OK with him. And he was there for me in a year that my life was up and down a lot. He was my up when things were down....though I never whined at him he was there and knew what was going on.
Take all the good from each one and learn. People mostly us women who have these hearts of gold want to love because somewhere we forget to love us therefore we look to love others so we can get back love. We fail to love us first. I know I have been there. I am going to recomend a book weather you go and get it is up to you.
''Self Matters'' by none other than Dr. Phil LOL Let dating (online dating with Match.com) me fun not a chore.
Edited 1/27/2009 10:54 pm ET by bitemex5..
Your outlook is so refreshing... You must be one hell of a mother... I hope you have some daughters so your wisdom will continue to another generation...
I will look into the book you recommonded, and thank you. I hope to get to a place in my head that I'll be happy w/ or w/o a man, but I must admit I HATE THIS!... I was much better a being a wife, then this single girl thing...
I've 'chatted' w/ 2 internet matches so far... I've decided to fake-it-till-I-make-it and keep plugging along....
Thanks again, your honesty & kindness is greatly appreicated..
OH hun dont fake it......Give them the real you. Would you want a guy to fake it???? No you wouldnt because you are worth the real thing. In this aventure of life it is better to make lots of boo boos in trying to find who we want to be then fake it. I have 3 dauhgters...and I come from an abusive marriage so my oldest 22 is having issues in how to treat p[eople ...picked it up from her father but she can also have a heart of gold. My yougest 12 and 10 are gilrs and havent had to deal with to much I have been single off and on for sense 2003 and they are very loving. Please give them the real you...you deserve the real you so should they ;o) fakein it is a waste of energy for you..and you know what happend when we run low on energy...there aint enough ice cream in the store for you to waste energy like that.).
Your right again! I've 'chatted' w/ a few internet men that came up as 'matches' for me, and have had the relalization I become whatever I think they want/need... this is not healthy, I know....
I came from an abusive home... my father was a SOB... to say the least... I can't remember much, (one time when I was 16 is real vivid...) my mother is a liar and was neglectful... I know all of this somehow plays into dating (online dating with Match.com) for me... I've gone to shrinks several times over the years (I'm 41) but do not want to rehash/remember every awful event...
Try showing up w/o insurance if you want perspective on that...) so I know the ramifications of abuse all to well... I'm sorry your marriage had this element... I'm sure w/ your stong, loving "right-on-the-money" ways you'll be able to stop the cycle... even for your oldest. (I feel my oldest child had the hardest time... I was young, her father was a drug dealer...
She 'saw' alot...) .
Anyway... I'm going to try to take some baby steps in the right direction... wish me luck...
Dont even look at the why he's saying it... He's saying it, he thinks enough of you to give you the gift of honesty. Don't analyze. Listen. Protect yourself.
Always concentrate on what you want and who you want to be and you will find and become all that you concentrate on...
Yes, he gave you the gift of a clear message..
Yes he's being honest. Listen to what he is saying and move on to someone who can give you what you really want.
I'm not the OP...
CL - Women of Color ..
I have to be honest, it makes me feel weird when we feel the need to correct the host of our board on little things like not responding directly to the OP. If you post a thread, doesn't it get sent to the OP's Email anyway? I admit to being clueless about this because I just read posts and responses on the website...
I'm not sure what you're getting at. Is it a problem that I said I'm not the OP?.
Edited to respond to this part:.
>>If you post a thread, doesn't it get sent to the OP's Email anyway? <<.
No, actually. If you post to me in a thread, it comes to my e-mail, not the OP's. So if I see in my inbox that I got a reply in a thread, I'm obviously expecting that the message was in response to me, KWIM?.
Sorry that my response to datedoyenne makes you 'feel weird' and I apologise for that..
Edited 2/12/2009 7:11 pm ET by cl-bajanbeautykei.
CL - Women of Color ..