I went out with this girl for a month. We met on, and when we finally met we had things...

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My first question is: I went out with this girl for a month. We met on, and when we finally met we had things....

My next question is: Hi- I did not feel like posting this message in Online dating (online dating with group ..I am old here in this group, I hope you dont mind? Its about dating (online dating with - cant we post any questions we have on dating (online dating with here?.

So I met this guy online about 10 days back and we are exchanging emails almost everyday now. I had registered in but had not yet subscribed. This person had already emailed me 2 days after my profile went public and I still have not uploaded my photo. He had asked in his first email to meet him for coffee since we both actually live in same area! It is a coincidence that I too had looked his profile just once..and he seemed very simple plus honest in his profile. I liked it. Then I posted mine and I really was so surprized I got winks and email from him when I logged in the second day! I was happy to see a response already waiting for me! But I could not read emails since I had not yet subscribed I guess.

So he wrote me back saying he thought meeting was good idea because it is better than going back and forth. Believe me, he seems to be a good guy, honest plus guess what? In both our profiles, we had pasted one line which was exactly the same sentence- indicating what I am looking for in my match. I feel so far it is going fine..but what next?.

WIll he be now expecting me to ask for coffee since he has already asked 2 times? Or do you think he will have to make the move again if he is really interested in me? Both of us are divorced and both so far has not asked each other the backgrnd..we talk topics in general in our emails..

Any tip? Thanks!..

Comments (9)

Your question was: I went out with this girl for a month. We met on, and when we finally met we had things....

I'm not sure why you wouldnt want to meet this guy in person.  It cant hurt to meet him in a public place having coffee.  I feel that if one has the opportunity to meet someone in person it is much better than trying to get to know each other on line - it feels more natural.  Eventually this guy will give up trying to ask you out.  I say go out and meet him!..

Comment #1

I think that the ball is in your court, since you were the one who indicated you weren't ready to meet yet..

In my experience, it's best to meet for a cup of coffee fairly soonthe only way you can really "get to know" someone is by spending time with them in person.  He's rightit's much better to meet for coffee than to go back and forth on email..

If you'd prefer to talk on the phone before meeting, then send him an email with your phone number and a good time to call, with a message saying something like, let's talk on the phone first and see if it makes sense to meet for a cup of coffee..



Comment #2

If the thing is new to you, it can seem really intimidating at first. But I cant say enough about this approach! Its a great way to meet people that dont just linger in a bar-scene, no matter what age you may be. I have done it myself, and was very skeptical at first, and when I finally did agree to meet someone, I was dreading it with my heart and soul. But after I went, I realized it was a fun way to meet someone new whether it became something great or not. The most important advice I can give you in this is to not have expectations. (VERY IMPORTANT!) Just remember....

If it turns out you have nothing in common whatsoever, no pressure! But now you know... and what IF it turned into something great? Its the only way to find out. Maybe you meet a friend, maybe you meet the next important chapter in your life.

Good luck!..

Comment #3

Phew! That was all good advice friends I will grab the right oppty and ask him for a coffee evening! WHAT IF SOME OTHER GIRL DOES THIS B4 ME? It hurts to think that way! But, yes I will be strong and not go there with high expectations..

Thank you all for the true advice!..

Comment #4

Don't worry if he meets other women before you and after you.  If the two of you are right for each other, it'll work out, but it's pretty much the norm to date using more than one person early on.  Until you've met in person and gone out a BUNCH of times, limiting yourself to just one person doesn't make a lot of sense..

You should be talking to more than one guy yourself, that's for sure!.



Comment #5

He could have already gone out with someone else but maybe he'll like you better.  ((fingers crossed for luck))..

Comment #6

I replied back to his email last night..we are exchanging 8th email so far. I was about to ask him in that email if he wanted to meet this weekend for coffee but something made me stop. I think it is my arrogance! I still want him to ask even though I know he asked me 2 times and I said no, but he still has this courtesy to exchange emails with me! but today so far, I have not yet received any email Why do we do this? Now, I am going to let go of my ego and ask him anyways..

U think I need to wait till tomorrow (otherwise he will think I knew he did not respond and I immediately showed my anxiety?) God, I am so stupid sometimes!..

Comment #7

Silly goose!  An idea:  why not try to make the coffee date using kind of impromptu - like  "hey, I was thinking of doing _____ tomorrow and I thought that it would be nice to meet for coffee - are you up for that?"..

Comment #8

Ouch! I am a silly goose, aren't I? Yes, already thought of doing something like that.. I will do it today..maybe Borders' bookstores or starbucks next to it. my only problem is starbucks might be crowded and we might not be able to sit and talk for long. so I will stick to Borders..

Thanks for shaking me up!..

Comment #9

This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.


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