Your question was: I started something on match.com and I can't seem to get back to finish it can you help me?.
I could tell you to trust the guy...but if your gut says not to trust him...then that is what you do..
I can understand him emailing this girl on the verge of your breakup. But to keep in touch with her sounds like he likes to keep someone in his mind as a backup - you may be right not to trust him. By emailing this girl who had nothing but romantic intentions toward..he is indicating he may not be as faithful asyou think...
After getting back into a relationship with you, there is no reason why this guy should be in touch with that girl again! It sounds to me like he is trying to keep his other options on reserve in case you do realize he is not trustworthy and leave him. Just my thought...
""Naturally I did what ANY girl would do and I took a quick sneak peak. ""Uh.. no, not what any girl would do. If the girl had trust issues, was not honest, not much self respect, then yes she would look.WITHOUT trust as part of the solid foundation of a relationship, YOU HAVE nothing worth having. Trust, honesty, respect are key ingredients for a healthy relationship, you don't trust him, you are dis honest with him (snooping) and you lack respect for him (goes back to the snooping). If you are not trustworthy, honest or respectful of him WHY should you expect him to be any of those things with you?It taking over a year to trust him, is that over something he did or something from your previous relationship? If it were a previous relationship (thru Match.com) issue then you did yourself him a dis-service (no one should pay for something someone else did), it is very draining emotionally to always have to prove yourself because of something someone else did, and relationship (thru Match.com) will not last with that going on.
I'm afraid I will always have it on my mind. My question is how do I get over this? "" Get counseling for yourself to work through the issues you have."" I have been married and hurt and do NOT want to go through it again and be made a fool of. If I stay I'm afraid I will always wonder and convince myself that he will do it again. But I don't want to leave and miss out on what could've been the only guy that would stay faithful, cause it's really really really hard to find those. What should I do????""The above says IMO that you are not ready for a relationship (thru Match.com) with anyone right now.
With those kinds of thoughts in your head, that is exactly what you will attract into your life (un-trustworthy) guys. Like attracts like..always has always will. Until you get your issues squared away with yourself and your marriage, you will not find a healthy happy relationship (thru Match.com) with anyone.It's not easy but it can be done. Take some time for yourself, work on yourself and your issues (get those in order) before trying to have a relationship (thru Match.com) with anyone. Until you stop painting all guys with the brush from your ex-husband, you are destined to not be happy with anyone...
No, he doesn't sound trustworthy. He's lied to you, for one thinghow can you trust someone who lies to you?.
I don't think what he did was "small and innocent". Keeping in touch with a woman he expressed interest in while the two of you were together? No, that's not cool in the least..
He's broken your trust and he needs to do what it takes to get it back (which is really, really difficult and takes him being willing to live his life as an open bookdo things like SHOW you his phone and email voluntarily). But he may not be capable of doing that because he's not trustworthy..
Trust is the cornerstone of a relationship (thru Match.com) and the two of you need to have a clear, open, honest discussion about where you're at, what is acceptable and not acceptable, etc. What does he need to show you to earn your trust? Does he want to do it? And if he does can you let go of the lingering distrust underneath after a certain point?.
I think you meant this for the original poster. However, I think that if a guy is keeping his options open while dating (online dating with Match.com) you and misleading you to think that you and he are exclusive that he is having emotional affairs and is not trustworthy. I dont know what he could do to prove to her that he is trustworthy - he is not invested in the relationship...