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I sign up for match.com but i cancel it right away do they changer me?

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My first question is: I sign up for match.com but I cancel it right away do they changer me?.

My next question is:  Why didnt he call?By Amy Klein.

Http://msn.match.com/msn/article.aspx?articleid=9359&TrackingID=516311&BannerID=544657&menuid=6&GT1=...Barry and I went out on three dates. We had a really good time. Or at least, I thought we did. After the third date, I never heard from him again. That was four years ago, when Sex and the City writer Greg Behrendt came out with the book, Hes Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Guide to Understanding Guys. So even though I was pretty certain that Barry had been into me, I was forced to concede he wasnt.

He said he had a really great time with you, and you had some really fun dates, Lexie said. But he met the woman he married when he started dating (online dating with Match.com) you. As a matter of fact, you were the last woman he ever dated. Wow. I hadnt read the Barry situation wrongwe did have a good time.

I liked Barrybut not that much. Im glad I didnt stand in the way of his meeting his one true love.

The story with Barry got me to thinking about the times when a guy doesnt call, but it's not because hes just not that into you. There are other reasons he hasn't called besides the fact that it's a hurtful, personal rejection.

Hes dating (online dating with Match.com) someone else. In this era of dating, most people have more than one pot on the fire. Its the good ones who realize that if youre going to date using Match.com someone seriously, you have to focus on just one person. So maybe he hasn't called you back because after only one date using Match.com with you, and four with someone else, hes going to give that woman a try. Thats not a bad guy; it's a smart one. If youre meant to be, hell be back.

Hes indisposed. Sometimes when a guy doesnt call, you hope maybe he was abducted by aliens or imprisoned somewhereany excuse besides, He just didnt like you. And sometimes there is. My friend Beth recently got a note from a man went AWOL after a few dates. Sorry Ive been out of touch, but I was laid up in the hospital with a back injury, he wrote. Beth says as long as he brings a doctors note on her next date, it's all good.

Hes got other priorities. My pal Jackie dated a man four years her junior and, after a few weeks of great chemistry but avoidant behavior, he told her, Look, I really, really like you, but your career is on track, and mines not, and thats my priority. It wasnt just a line. Turned out no woman could take him away from his career goals at that time in his life.

He recently got out of a relationship. Some people believe that the man of your dreams will recognize you no matter what his life situation. But a guy who just endured a difficult divorce or suffered a recent breakup may not be ready for a relationship. Even if he thinks he is. Alice dated Tom a year after he separated from his wife, but during their seven months together, Toms divorce didnt go through, and even worse, he was always running to his ex when she called. He wanted to be with Alice but was too distracted and confused to be consistent with her.

Its logistically problematic. Lisa met a guy who was moving. To Saudi Arabia. Despite the chemistry, he refused to get involved. He didnt want a long-distance relationship, she said. There are some who believe that love conquers all, but others realize the stars geography, timing, age must be aligned for a relationship (thru Match.com) to work.Ultimately, there are a dozen reasons a guy might not call after a date, but it doesnt mean the relationship (thru Match.com) is doomed, says Ian Kerner, Ph.D., a Manhattan-based sex therapist and author of Be HonestYoure Not That Into Him, Either: Raise Your Standards and Reach for the Love You Deserve.

Even if things dont play out in the scenario that you believe should play outthat doesnt mean there isnt potential for it to work out, he said. There are no universal rules. So next time youre sitting by the phone, remember that there are dozens of reasons why it's your mom calling (again) and not last nights date. And those forces keeping him from calling may have absolutely nothing to do with you. As Dr.

Amy Klein is an editor and singles columnist at The Jewish Journal of Greater Los Angeles. She has written for The San Francisco Chronicle, The Chicago Sun-Times, The Jerusalem Post and The Los Angeles Daily News...

Comments (4)

Your question was: I sign up for match.com but I cancel it right away do they changer me?.

Great piece. Wise words. The point here too is don't sit by the phone waiting. Be out there living your life.

,..

Comment #1

Yup, too many times women try to figure out what went wrong. If it doesnt slap you in the face then chances are you'll never know why someone didnt call and in retrospection it really wont matter. ..

Comment #2

Hi, I'd really like to read this post, but it's severely cut off on the right. Could you please repost? thx.

Www.mylifeasadate.com..

Comment #3

I opened up the post and it is centered.  I dont know why your version wasnt aligned properly, but here is another copy:.

 Why didnt he call?By Amy Klein.

Http://msn.match.com/msn/article.aspx?articleid=9359&TrackingID=516311&BannerID=544657&menuid=6&GT1=...Barry and I went out on three dates. We had a really good time. Or at least, I thought we did. After the third date, I never heard from him again. That was four years ago, when Sex and the City writer Greg Behrendt came out with the book, Hes Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Guide to Understanding Guys. So even though I was pretty certain that Barry had been into me, I was forced to concede he wasnt.

He said he had a really great time with you, and you had some really fun dates, Lexie said. But he met the woman he married when he started dating (online dating with Match.com) you. As a matter of fact, you were the last woman he ever dated. Wow. I hadnt read the Barry situation wrongwe did have a good time.

I liked Barrybut not that much. Im glad I didnt stand in the way of his meeting his one true love.

The story with Barry got me to thinking about the times when a guy doesnt call, but it's not because hes just not that into you. There are other reasons he hasn't called besides the fact that it's a hurtful, personal rejection.

Hes dating (online dating with Match.com) someone else. In this era of dating, most people have more than one pot on the fire. Its the good ones who realize that if youre going to date using Match.com someone seriously, you have to focus on just one person. So maybe he hasn't called you back because after only one date using Match.com with you, and four with someone else, hes going to give that woman a try. Thats not a bad guy; it's a smart one. If youre meant to be, hell be back.

Hes indisposed. Sometimes when a guy doesnt call, you hope maybe he was abducted by aliens or imprisoned somewhereany excuse besides, He just didnt like you. And sometimes there is. My friend Beth recently got a note from a man went AWOL after a few dates. Sorry Ive been out of touch, but I was laid up in the hospital with a back injury, he wrote. Beth says as long as he brings a doctors note on her next date, it's all good.

Hes got other priorities. My pal Jackie dated a man four years her junior and, after a few weeks of great chemistry but avoidant behavior, he told her, Look, I really, really like you, but your career is on track, and mines not, and thats my priority. It wasnt just a line. Turned out no woman could take him away from his career goals at that time in his life.

He recently got out of a relationship. Some people believe that the man of your dreams will recognize you no matter what his life situation. But a guy who just endured a difficult divorce or suffered a recent breakup may not be ready for a relationship. Even if he thinks he is. Alice dated Tom a year after he separated from his wife, but during their seven months together, Toms divorce didnt go through, and even worse, he was always running to his ex when she called. He wanted to be with Alice but was too distracted and confused to be consistent with her.

Its logistically problematic. Lisa met a guy who was moving. To Saudi Arabia. Despite the chemistry, he refused to get involved. He didnt want a long-distance relationship, she said. There are some who believe that love conquers all, but others realize the stars geography, timing, age must be aligned for a relationship (thru Match.com) to work.Ultimately, there are a dozen reasons a guy might not call after a date, but it doesnt mean the relationship (thru Match.com) is doomed, says Ian Kerner, Ph.D., a Manhattan-based sex therapist and author of Be HonestYoure Not That Into Him, Either: Raise Your Standards and Reach for the Love You Deserve.

Even if things dont play out in the scenario that you believe should play outthat doesnt mean there isnt potential for it to work out, he said. There are no universal rules. So next time youre sitting by the phone, remember that there are dozens of reasons why it's your mom calling (again) and not last nights date. And those forces keeping him from calling may have absolutely nothing to do with you. As Dr.

Amy Klein is an editor and singles columnist at The Jewish Journal of Greater Los Angeles. She has written for The San Francisco Chronicle, The Chicago Sun-Times, The Jerusalem Post and The Los Angeles Daily News...

Comment #4


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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