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I recently started using Match.com. Do you think the profiles are sincere or are just interesting re

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My first question is: I recently started using Match.com. Do you think the profiles are sincere or are just interesting re.

My next question is: I have been seeing a man for about a year and a half he has not told his family about me but I have met alot of his friends. I go and see him about once a week he has come to my house about 3 times He has not told me that he wants a serious relationship (thru Match.com) and he hasn't told me want he really wants and when I ask him he makes a joke about it and changes the topic I realize that he doesnt want to get hurt again but I dont want to wait forever for him to make up his mind either.  Part of me wants to tell him I have to move on but I will miss him...

Comments (6)

Your question was: I recently started using Match.com. Do you think the profiles are sincere or are just interesting re.

I'm guessing that you two live far apart. If, after a year and a half, he has not told his family about you and he makes a joke when you bring it up, it doesn't seem like he's serious about you. He could be hiding stuff too - for example, he could be married..

CL - Women of Color  ..

Comment #1

You dont want to rush him but after 1 and 1/2 years that he hasn't told his family and changes the subject every time you  bring up the idea of a possible future - well he owes it to you to listen to your fears, not an ultimatum but you need to know if he does want to possibly make this something serious at some point, at least introduce you to his family. You dont want to waste years of your life. If he doesn't treat your feelings seriously, there's your answer.

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Comment #2

He isn't serious about you and has no intention of becoming so.I think you are wasting your time with him if you are looking for a lasting relationship. Yes you will absolutely miss him, that's what breaking up is - it never feels good, it always hurts. People very rarely break up because they don't like or love one another anymore, it's usually because the relationship (thru Match.com) just isn't right. And it isn't right for you. Clearly you want more than he can, or will, give you. I don't think you have much of an option here momraadt, breaking up will hurt but eventually you will come to realize that it was the only decision you could have made. You don't get wasted time back, and I think you've invested more than enough trying to figure out if this relationship (thru Match.com) will go anywhere...

Comment #3

Is this a cultural thing? Or does he not want to tell them until it's really serious? .

I was in a similar situation- an American girl dating (online dating with Match.com) a guy from India and this was a cultural and personal choice not to tell his family. My friends and family could not believe he wouldn't tell them about me and thought it was because the last thing they wanted was for their son to date using Match.com an American girl. (Which he later told me was TRUE!!).

When I found this out (about 1 year into the relationship) I couldn't help but feel like a dirty secret and not good enough. Soon after I chose to end the relationship (thru Match.com) with that issue being one of the main reasons. It really hurt me no matter the cultural or personal reason- I felt like I was being diminished in a way and that's not a good way to go through a relationship, especially when you're hoping he's "the one".

I would recommend evaluating whether this hurts you or diminishes you in any way- if so, no matter how good the relationship (thru Match.com) is. You deserve better. .

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Comment #4

Yes, someone who doesn't take you seriously enough to respond seriously to your concerns is not someone you can take seriously..

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Comment #5

Yes it's time to let go. Rip off the band-aid. It hurts but much less so than if you let the wound fester.

,..

Comment #6


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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