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I met this guy on match.com and I REALLY like him, problem is he doesn't feel the same way?

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My first question is: I met this guy on match.com and I REALLY like him, problem is he doesn't feel the same way?.

My next question is:  So far I have posted here twice and you all gave me great input..

Long story short.  A month ago I broke up with boyfriend of 8 months because I snooped online and found out he was still active on the dating (online dating with Match.com) site I met him on.  Instead of discussing the matter with him, I broke it off.  A week later I contacted him and we started seeing each other again.  .

Things were great for two weeks.  Then he told me that he couldn't see on a Saturday night.  We've always spent Saturdays evenings together.  He said he was going to be busy all day working on his rental property and would prefer we got together on Sunday instead.   .

Since finding out he was still active online, I do have trust issues.  So, a part of me thought he was planning to see another woman (maybe one he met online). I ask him if he was planning to see someone and we ended up having an agruement.   He told me that I don't trust him and don't seem ready for a relationship..

He sent me a (hello how are you) text on Saturday night and I responded......but he hasn't contacted me since..

Late last night, I sent him a text msg saying the following.  "We've been having problems and I apologize for my part in it.  Also we've had a lot of great times together and I thank you.  We may or may not continue to see each other, but always remember that I love you."  That was the first time I ever told him that I loved him..

So far he hasn't responded.  If he doesn't I'll never contact him again.  What do you think about this situation? What do you think about my text? Did I handle this right?..

Comments (2)

Your question was: I met this guy on match.com and I REALLY like him, problem is he doesn't feel the same way?.

When asked why he was still active on the dating (online dating with Match.com) site after becoming exclusive with me.  He said "it's was nothing, he just reads and deletes his mail. I accepted that lame excuse and continued to see him.  Overall, he was good to me and I missed him so much.  Also, I had no proof he'd met anyone online..

Our routine is to get together every Saturday (we do get together earlier in the week.)  He said he couldn't see me at all Saturday because he was going to be busy and when he got home, he most likey wouldn't want any company.  He even said it's not guaranteed we'll see each other every Sat. .

This seemed out of the blue and strange to me, so I asked him if he had a date. He said no but the question made him mad.  He said he would have to check some things out and call me later about us getting together sometime over the weekend..

Since he was unavailabe on Sat, I got mad and made plans to visit my friend (female) that lives an hour way near the beach. I called and told him that since he was busy, I made other plans and would be away for the weekend.  This caused him to become very angry. .

He sent me a text Sat night asking me if I was having a good time.  I told him I was at the House of Blues eating dinner and listening to music having a nice time. I really needed a small vacation..

He hasn't called me since.  I sent him a text on Tues, he never responded.  Now I REGRET calling him Wed nite.  He was still angry and told me the following:.

He doesn't want to see me anymore, it's over for him.  He hates drama. I have pushed him away.I'm to jealous and have issuesHe's seeing something in me he doesn't likeI don't trust himHe can't deal with being accused of seeing another woman everytime he says he can't see me for some reason. He hates arguing and we've had 2 arguements in the last 2 weeksIt's to early in our 8 month relationship (thru Match.com) for us to be arguingHe said that I went out of town beacuse I was mad  at him and he thinks, I may have been mad enough to go off and sleep with another man.He believes it was wrong and disrepectul for me to leave town without discussing my traveling plans in detail with him.  He spent weekend wondering where and what I was doing. .

He said I could have stayed home did something locally on Sat and hooked up with him on Sun.  He said a woman with a boyfriend shouldn't be in a blues club.  That's disrepectful.  I've known my female friend for yrs.  She's like a sister.  What's wrong with us going out for dinner and listening to music.  My boyfriend was busy on Sat. and her husband is in the Navy and out to sea.  We decided to go out Sat evening..

Was I wrong?  Is it my fault my boyfriend broke up with me?..

Comment #1

Heavenly...I tried writing last but my computer froze up.  I was so moved by your post that I made a note to get back to it today..

I don't think you did anything wrong.  He is being cold and controlling..

I am amazed at his selfishness.   First he doesn't address the online issue, avoiding your feelings about it.   Then he cancels Saturday nights with you without really giving a reason why..

You are not being "distrustful"...you are being normal in wondering if something is wrong..

When you decide to do the healthy thing and go away for the weekend (which I think was an excellent choice, take care of yourself when you man is being cold and unresponsive), he actually has the nerve to get upset about that, when he was the one doing the rejecting!.

So no, this is all about him, not him.  He comes across as cold and controlling and non communicative to me.   All not good qualities to have in a mate..

Please don't blame yourself and let go. Think about the qualities you do want in a man.  This man is not warm and loving...let him go..

 .

Soliel..

Comment #2


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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