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I met a woman on Match.com.She wants me to send her money to come over here?

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My first question is: I met a woman on Match.com.She wants me to send her money to come over here?.

My next question is: I have been seeing this guy for 5 months and I really like him, however my problem is that he does not want to get serious with me just because he is Jewish and I am not. he says that the fact that I am not Jewish is a very big deal to him and he can not be serious with me although he thinks that I am smart, sexy and funny!!!.

What shall I do?? I really like him and I am putting too much in this relationship (thru Match.com) because it means allot to me.

Please advise me and tell me what to do!!..

Comments (9)

Your question was: I met a woman on Match.com.She wants me to send her money to come over here?.

Wow. you all agreed on me breaking up and moving on with my life!!! it hurts me because I really like him and he means a lot to me and I just can not simply say goodbye to him.

I seriously considered converting to Judaism but I never told him because I was afraid he would think that I was being clingy or too desperate.

These days I am playing it cool and I am not calling him or messaging him like before, because before I used to be available all the time. maybe playing hard to get will make him miss me and feel the need to have me in his life and will make him be serious with me!! I honestly do not know if it's gonna work but at least I am trying because I don't wanna give up as yet.

What do you think, guys???.

Ah by the way, I thank all of you for your replies, it really made a difference...

Comment #1

I don't know how old you are, but let me tell you a bit of wisdom, if a guy says...

That the fact that you are not Jewish is a very big deal to him and he can not be serious with you although he thinks that you are smart, sexy and funny!!!.

Then believe him. If there is a huge discrepancy between his words and actions, well, you've got a problem. Essentially, you are being toyed with and it likely won't end well unless you accept you have no future with him and stick around for the ride. Why do that to yourself?.

Five months is a LONG time to be with someone who made it clear you have no future together. You are setting yourself up for major heartbreak and serious loss of self-esteem. It is not good to give your love to a man like this. Trust me. Reign in your feelings and start talking to and dating other guys..

I've dated people of other cultures, and this question of whether the relationship (thru Match.com) can go anywhere is really important to get out of the way immediately. If yes, great. If no, move on, unless that heartache is what you want...

Comment #2

Listen to what you're saying zara. His problem is NOT that he doesn't miss you enough, it's that you're not Jewish. You can't just change that. And honestly, unless you really want to be of the Jewish faith for your own personal reasons, it would be a mistake to convert. You can try whatever tactics you want to convince him that you like him, but that's not the problem, and you won't be changing what needs to be changed in order for this relationship (thru Match.com) to work.Again, the problem is not that you aren't trying hard enough or that you're doing something wrong. You may not feel ready to give up, but in time you will not have a choice.

Ultimately you will hurt yourself and prolong the inevitable...

Comment #3

I don't know what to say, I guess you are all right! converting or playing hard to get is not going to solve the problem anyway...

And by the way, chanadevorah, I am 25 and I dated lots of guys before this one, but I never had a guy from a different religion and very serious about it so that is why to me it's a dilemma..

Anyway thanks a lot for everyone who replied me and gave me advice. you are great. xxx..

Comment #4

That he's telling you he can't get serious is something you need to listen to.  Don't expect him to change his mind. Better to do damage control sooner vs later.

,..

Comment #5

Well, he's being honest with you. Religious differences can be a big hurdle. If that's how he feels then you need to make your decision with his mindset front and center.

,..

Comment #6

He's being honest with you. You need to be honest with yourself.

,..

Comment #7

Yes you can't make someone to change their values and beliefs for you. You have to accept them as they are..

,..

Comment #8

Happy to help. You can't change someone's values.

,..

Comment #9


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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