candidablog.com

I met a guy on Match.com I winked at him,then he emailed me wantinh to talk more,?

Want the Latest Match.com Coupons Every Month?


Enter your email address below and we'll send you the latest coupon codes every month. We'll even give a lucky person a free 3 month offer.


My first question is: I met a guy on Match.com I winked at him,then he emailed me wantinh to talk more,?.

My next question is: He left me 3 months ago, telling me that he cares about me but there is no love, after 10 months of relationship, and that he doesnt see future with me. that he has committment phobia and he cant go over it. so he is letting me go so that I find my own happinessi accepted and moved on. I thought and rethought our relationship (thru Match.com) and realised that I was emotionally dependent on him, that our relationship (thru Match.com) was not healthy and lacked love and romance yet I stayed, accepting and hoping that one day he will see who I really am and finally tells me he loves me, he cares for me, that I'm the one. Why did I start dating (online dating with Match.com) him in the first place? coz he was a nice guy who wanted more than friendship and I was lonely...these 3 months I started working on myself, my self esteem, my needs, my wants. I tried to define in my head the relationship (thru Match.com) I want and the perfect guy for me.

Telling me he was a fool, that he needs me in his life, that he has real committment issues but he is willing to overcome them. all he is asking is one date, the opportunity to meet and talk. to explain himself, to tell me all he's been thinking off these past monthsand I'm puzzled. one part of me wants to yell, scream, send him to hell for his rejection last year. he thinks it's so easy to get me back? that I'm his toy? the other wants to meet and listen to him.

Pities him and thinks to give him a chanceand I'm lost. I dont want to ruin my life, I'm only 28. I want to find true love and someone who will truly love me for who I am. yet I still lack self esteem to believe that one day I will meet my mr.right. and this insecure part of me says "dont let him go..

Comments (9)

Your question was: I met a guy on Match.com I winked at him,then he emailed me wantinh to talk more,?.

If you are not comfortable seeing him let him know. If you want to sit on itand think then sit on it and think and tell him that. I think you need to sit and think. let himknow you are mad and hurt and need some time...if that is what you wnt to do. Second chances should not be that easy...

Comment #1

These 3 months I started working on myself, my self esteem, my needs, my wants. I tried to define in my head the relationship (thru Match.com) I want and the perfect guy for me. my ex didnt fit my new criteria good for you!!!!  This is exactly what all of us need to do when we have a relationship(s) that failed.  Dont ruin this by seeing him.  Dont even contact him.  I would suggest you change your email addy or block him.  It sounds to me like he wanted to test the waters and when he did not find anything he thought was better, he is coming back to you.  Dont let all your hard work on yourself go to waste and lower your standards.  Keep up the good work!.

 .

 .

 .

 .

Powered by CGISpy.com.

 .

My next door neighbor.

Wants to ban all guns.

THEIR HOUSE IS UNARMED.

Out of respect for their opinion I will not protect.

Them with my guns..

Comment #2

U think so? I feel it will be so rude to it... to ignore, to delete his message and continue as if he never wrote me. it will hunt me. yet I dont know what to reply - that I cant see him? that i'm not ready? he might insist.. i'm so lost - I dont understand if I want to see him and if I do - WHY? what's the point?i have always put his needs and wants before mine - i'm so afraid it will restart... my happy mood has evaporated since yday night, since his email.

This is getting obsessive....

Comment #3

Yes ma'am I think so.  He did not worry about being hurtful and rude to you when he broke it off, so if I were you I would not worry about that.  Its not easy to be hurtful or rude, but sometimes that the only way to get them to understand and leave you alone.  Dont let your 3 months of hard work on youself go down the drain.  If you contact him you will be right back where you started and if he pulls that stunt again you will have to start all over.  Trust me he will live..

 .

Powered by CGISpy.com.

 .

My next door neighbor.

Wants to ban all guns.

THEIR HOUSE IS UNARMED.

Out of respect for their opinion I will not protect.

Them with my guns..

Comment #4

If you really want HIM, and not just someone to keep you company, then see him and propose new terms to the relationship. In other words - you need to say what didnt work for you and what you would like to see change - along with suggestions - so that he understands this is a new relationship (thru Match.com) thus new expected behaviors and maybe it could work...

Comment #5

That's the biggest question in my head... I dont know if I want HIM or it's just the cozy idea of being in couple (even if this couple is far from ideal) is what my heart is longing... crazy and so silly.....

Comment #6

Good luck - you obviously made the right decision for your life...

Comment #7

I agree. The only way ex's getting back can work is if both people do a lot of reflective thinking as to what went wrong and can truly make changes.

,..

Comment #8

It sounds like you are not sure what you want to do so I would do this:.

Meet with him once and hear him out...BUT if you decide to try again, you MUST make him WORK for it..

That would mean to me....no sex for a long time, seeing each other only once a week, having him take you out each time and you still keeping yourself open to other men..

He needs to regain your trust.  You must have strong boundaries for him to do this..

I think the worst thing to do would be to be easy about it.  Not making him work for it.  Pretend you are thinking about it, too.  Be mysterious about how you feel for two months!  Make him wonder if you'll take him back..

THEN, if he passes all your tests...comes thru on committments, SHOWS you he is different, really cherishes you and appreciates the relationship, THEN you can relax into it IF  you want it..

But you have to really think about if he is the one you want. Since you are not sure...do not give up/in too early.  If you can get better, you deserve it.  It's an important choice point and don't let him rush you into this..

Lastly, follow your intuition and heart...as it will lead you the right way. .

 .

Soliel..

Comment #9


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

Categories: Home | Aug 2010 - Acne | Aug 2010 - Weight Loss | July 2010 - Weight Loss |

July 2010 - Crohn's Disease | July 2010 - Celiac Disease | June 2010 - Weight Loss | June 2010 - Acne |

May 2010 - Weight Loss | May 2010 - Acne | April 2010 - Weight Loss | Mar 2010 - Weight Loss |

Mar 2010 - Dieting | Mar 2010 - Acne | Feb 2010 - Weight Loss | Feb 2010 - Dieting |

Jan 2010 - Dieting | Jan 2010 - Acne | Jan 2010 - Weight Loss | Dec 2009 - Acne |

Dec 2009 - Dieting | Dec 2009 - Weight Loss | Nov 2009 - Weight Loss | Nov 2009 - Dieting |

Oct 2009 - Dieting | Oct 2009 - Fitness | Oct 2009 - Weight Loss | Sep 2009 - Weight Loss |

Sep 2009 - Dieting | Aug 2009 - Dieting | Aug 2009 - Weight Loss | July 2009 - Weight Loss |

July 2009 - Dieting | Jun 2009 - Weight Loss | June 2009 - Dieting | May 2009 - Weight Loss |

May 2009 - Dieting | April 2009 - Weight Loss | April 2009 - Dieting | March 2009 - Weight Loss |

Feb 2009 - Weight Loss | Jan 2009 - Weight Loss | Dec 2008 - Weight Loss | Dec 2008 - Diet Programs |

Dec 2008 - Dieting | Dec 2008 - Diets | Nov 2008 - Dieting |

 

(C) Copyright 2010 All rights reserved.