I have been single for 11 years and am in my mid forties how do I get back in the dating scene not m

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My first question is: I have been single for 11 years and am in my mid forties how do I get back in the dating scene not m.

My next question is: I have been working with this colleague Mark for a few weeks now.  He came in the other day for a mtg at my office We got to talk for a few minutes I ran into Him in the hallway and He asked how my week was going etc And if I did anything interesting that week I had told Him I attended this party at a Museum so he said and You didn't invite Me and then he said if You asked me I would have went with You!! I was caught off guard so I said when there is another cool event I hear of I will let Him know So as I started to walk to where I needed to go He asked What I was doing that night and I had a Dr.s Appt so I told Him so he said ok and I told him I will talk to Him soon!.

So Yesterday I took a chance and e-mailed him if He would like to have a drink tomorrow night so He got back to Me and said yes and asked to invite 2 of my colleagues along So I said sure which is cool I know it is akward but I feel a little confused..

Anyone have any thoughts on this!..

Comments (21)

Your question was: I have been single for 11 years and am in my mid forties how do I get back in the dating scene not m.

Sounds like hes your friend. Just because a guy pays attention to you and is nice does not mean he is going to date using you...he asked you to bring people...if he was interested in a date using thing...he would have said yesand it would be just the 2 of you...

Comment #1

Very smart man, he is being cautious because you are a co worker and he does not want to be the victim of a possible sexual harassment allegation.  dating (online dating with a co worker is very dangerous and can lead to lots of trouble..



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My next door neighbor.

Wants to ban all guns.


Out of respect for their opinion I will not protect.

Them with my guns..

Comment #2

Ya know I am totally against dating (online dating with in the work place. I have a couple clients that I work for who have expressed the dating (online dating with thing and I would if I didnt work with them. It makes for bad bad bad bussiness. Tension if things dont work out..Not good...

Comment #3

Me too, I have seen to much trouble come from it.  One or both losing their jobs, uncomfortable situations for all at work.  Gossip and time lost working.  I am amazed at the number of posts that have this going on at work, doesnt anyone work anymore?  No wonder companies are going under, no one is doing their job..


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My next door neighbor.

Wants to ban all guns.


Out of respect for their opinion I will not protect.

Them with my guns..

Comment #4

Not that all women do this and I do know that some men do...but a person outthere can be tons of backlashing and stabbin and just bad things..

Comment #5

Oh yeah for sure..


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My next door neighbor.

Wants to ban all guns.


Out of respect for their opinion I will not protect.

Them with my guns..

Comment #6

Hey Everyone-Im sorry if I wasn't clear He does not work at My Company..

He just does some business with my Company that's all So he wouldn't be someone I would.

See on a regular basis. .

Hope this helps-Let Me know what You all think..

Comment #7

It changes it a bit but not completely. He is still involved with you company. Theres a little more room here for something personal just tred very carefully and slowly...

Comment #8

Sounds like He is smitten :-) Have fun at Your get together with Him and see what happens!.

My best friend met Her Husband in a similiar situation.  They were very smart about it they dated and kept it between them and it worked out, 6 months later he got a better job offer and left the Company and they are happily married with 2 kids so You never know. Take it slow and enjoy it!.

Good luck!!..

Comment #9

It went well. We had a nice night We got to have dinner and drinks and He stood by my side the whole night We mingled with co-workers like 20% of the time.  He asked alot of questions that You would ask on a date using and at the end of the night he walked me to my Car and gave me a big hug!.

He e-mailed Me yesterday thanks for inviting Him and We definetely have to do it again soon!.

So We shall see what happens....

Comment #10

Well he likes you but is possibly hedging his bets, safety in numbers..


Comment #11

I have an update!! I e-mailed Him this week and invited Him to a Holiday luncheon on Monday..

He is going to come this will be my last attempt to initiate anything with Mark the rest is up to Him now I opened the door. So We shall see what happens Im excited and nervous..What do You Guy's think?..

Comment #12

The luncheon went great! We stood together the whole time alone and I would occasionaly walk away so He could mingle.  He drove Me home and We had a great talk in the car and We got into a conversation about What would You do if You won the lotto lol Anyway I told Him one thing would be rent a limo and take all my friends out to a fancy resteraunt So He's like would You invite Me and I said ofcourse!.

He e-mailed Me the next morning and thanked me for inviting Him and wished Me a Merry X-Mas/Happy New Year and He said talk to You soon! So We shall see what happens...

I went to a really good psychic and She knew about Him and said some detailed stuff and She said I see this Guy turning into something romantic and He is a really sweet Guy and You Guys are completely compatible so let every day unfold and enjoy it!!  I hope She is right I went to her last year  And She was dead on about a bunch of stuff!..

Comment #13

Yes this is a situation that demands caution, diplomacy and thought!.


Comment #14

Progress-He came in a few days ago for a meeting I was sitting at my desk and I hear hello behind me lol I go and turn and it was Him so I was totally caught off guard We spoke a good 10 minutes I told him about some cocktail hours my team was invited to so He said He would go with Me!.

He invited only Me His Company luncheon which is soon! I was surprised to be honest It is on the weekend so I am going And Im going to find out the deal with him finally it will be easier to have a good talk @this Im so excited and nervous!..

Comment #15

What's with capitalizing every pronoun? Not criticizing you or anything I'm just curious, I don't usually see that outside of the bible lol..

Comment #16 you're asking whether or not he's interested in dating (online dating with you, right? You've received a lot of advice about whether or not you should date using a colleague, so I want to make sure I address your actual question..

If you're asking whether or not he's interested in dating (online dating with you, I'd say that you don't have enough info to really tell. The fact that he asked if others could come along may imply that he isn't. He may have just been harmlessly flirting when you two had the exchange at work. He could be in a relationship (thru or just a friendly guy who didn't mean anything by the comments he made. Hard to tell....maybe he'll be more obvious as he gets to know you..

If you're asking about whether or not you should date using a co-worker (doesn't sound like this is what you were asking, though), I'd say that it depends on your employer's policy. I used to work for State government, where there was a married couple who worked for the same agency but different departments. So, if you two work for different departments and have different supervisors, I'd say there isn't a problem. As long as you keep it professional at work.

Hope this helps!.

UPDATE: Ok...I see that you two have been out a few times without others tagging along. That's cool. Just let it flow. Have fun...without having too many expectations. If he is interested in dating (online dating with you, he will invite you out more often. This is the way it should be, no pressure or expectations..

Good luck!.

Edited 1/25/2009 7:28 pm ET by rivegauche79..

Comment #17

Psychics are fun but actions are what speak the truth..


Comment #18

Well it's done.  Basically I think He flirted with Me and tried to get around Me to get some leads on my Company's accounts today he called to set up a time for his company event and for me to help him get a meeting with one of my higher up's and out of a clear blue sky tells Me oh My Girlfriend is coming so I didn't react and got the details for the event and hung up needless to say Im not going and Im sending a cancel notice to his invite I feel like a jerk.  He will have to do His own leg work to make money off my company. .

Thanks so much for all of your advice..

Comment #19

I think You misunderstood Im not going to the event on thursday.  He has a Girlfriend and this is the first time He mentioned it in 4 months I think He flirted with Me and lead Me on to get leads on My Company.  So Im pretty upset right now...

Comment #20

Sorry you're feeling mislead. Honestly, it was just unwise to assume that the guy was single. You really had no indication that he was. Some people flirt even when they're in a relationship. In case, maybe he had an agenda, maybe he didn't. Anyway, at least you know now. At least it didn't go further, where you could've ended up being really hurt..

Hope you're able to move on quickly and meet an AVAILABLE man who you can get to know!.



Comment #21

This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.


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