candidablog.com

I found my g/f pic and info on match.com - what should I think?

Want the Latest Match.com Coupons Every Month?


Enter your email address below and we'll send you the latest coupon codes every month. We'll even give a lucky person a free 3 month offer.


My first question is: I found my g/f pic and info on match.com - what should I think?.

My next question is: Hi folks,.

OK I just posted yesterday under the title HELP-Committment is holding him back...A lot of you gave great information and basically said that I should either dump him or get REALLY busy and not return very few of his calls.  It's actually funny but I haven't been picking up the phone and I'm trying to ignore every 3rd or 4th call, but it's hard when he's making fewer of them. .

He never said he had a committment issue but when I've mentioned it..he's never denied it either.  I agree that we were going along merrily and maybe him getting his freedom and apartment after being divorced 2 years (gosh I thought that was enough time for someone to clear their minds) made him change..

Here's my question...after this amount of time (10 months) is there a way to gain his interest back?  When I first met him I barely liked him and was dating (online dating with Match.com) 3 other guys and he totally chased after me.  Believe me, I did the right thing and took it slow till about the 7th month (thought by then the normal course would be to progress and let some of my guard down).  Is it too far gone for him to see me in an attractive light again?  A person who he wants to chase?  Please let me know what you've done and if you've ever seen it turn around..

 .

Thanks,.

Lynne.

 ..

Comments (4)

Your question was: I found my g/f pic and info on match.com - what should I think?.

It really depends on what made him lose interest to begin with?  Has he realized that you and he are not the right fit long term?  Is it just a bad attitude - like he takes your love for granted?  Is it sexual attraction? did you screw up by cheating on him or flirting with other guys?   If you could find out more...then you would have something to work with..

My take on this subject, in general, is that why try to regain someone's interest when you could have that interest handed to you without any work by another guy?  Unless you did something to make him not want to be with you or hurt him..then dont fight for a man's attention or affection - not worth it...

Comment #1

I'd say the short answer is to your question is "no."   Attraction is generally not something you can conjure up in another in a person. It's either there or it isn't.  Just think back to the last time you weren't interested in someone.  Was there anything he could do to bring your interest back?  Not likely.  In fact, the harder he tried to "get" you, the more annoyed you probably became and the more distance you sought. .

So you're only 10 months in and the thrill is going away.  It's still quite early in this relationship (thru Match.com) but it's also just about the time for infatuation to begin wearing off.   Now you're seeing one other for who you really are.  If his interest has waned, it may be that he is realizing that you are not the best partner for him.    .

Of course every situation is different.  Sometimes there are other things going on in a person's life that take priority over the relationship, and he simply doesn't have the same amount of time or energy to devote to you as before.  It's possible for a person to go back to being enthusiastic and attentive once the other issue is resolved or died down... but only if there is a real connection and real chemistry in the first place..

Sometimes you can reignite interest by pulling back.  In other words, by giving your partner some breathing room and a chance to miss you.  But again, this "tactic" will only work if there is underlying compatibility and a mutual desire to pursue a serious relationship.  If you find yourself involved with someone who only seems interested when you act like you're not interested, you've got yourself a "thrill of the hunt" guy... and that is not a real relationship.  It's an exhausting game and you don't want to live like that. .

I don't know which scenario is true, but I hope things improve for you.  Just recognize the difference between putting in a little effort to keep things fresh, and feeling like you are struggling to keep a man's interest.  If you're working that hard, you're not with the right man.  You deserve someone who wants you for you and who shows it..

 .

Jilly..

Comment #2

You can not make some one gain interest again..you changed the relationship (thru Match.com) the chase is off and honestly why would you want to be with some one who has to chase you to be interested in you???..

Comment #3

I don't think that you can gain someone's interest back but he probably is feeling some pressure from you regarding committment and he is not interested in that.  I'm not sure of your whole story because I didn't read your other post but when you start pressuring a guy to feel something that he doesn't, or you want something from the relationship (thru Match.com) that he doesn't... he will start to get scared and back off.  I think that a guy would go full force if he is truly into you.  You shouldn't have to wonder what he is feeling because he let's his feelings known. Don't try to convince him of a commitment or relationship (thru Match.com) with you because it will backfire. If a guy is into you, he will initiate that talk... so he knows what you want and has not reciprocated so move on from him already; and find a man that does want what you want. Its as simple as that...

Comment #4


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

Categories: Home | Aug 2010 - Acne | Aug 2010 - Weight Loss | July 2010 - Weight Loss |

July 2010 - Crohn's Disease | July 2010 - Celiac Disease | June 2010 - Weight Loss | June 2010 - Acne |

May 2010 - Weight Loss | May 2010 - Acne | April 2010 - Weight Loss | Mar 2010 - Weight Loss |

Mar 2010 - Dieting | Mar 2010 - Acne | Feb 2010 - Weight Loss | Feb 2010 - Dieting |

Jan 2010 - Dieting | Jan 2010 - Acne | Jan 2010 - Weight Loss | Dec 2009 - Acne |

Dec 2009 - Dieting | Dec 2009 - Weight Loss | Nov 2009 - Weight Loss | Nov 2009 - Dieting |

Oct 2009 - Dieting | Oct 2009 - Fitness | Oct 2009 - Weight Loss | Sep 2009 - Weight Loss |

Sep 2009 - Dieting | Aug 2009 - Dieting | Aug 2009 - Weight Loss | July 2009 - Weight Loss |

July 2009 - Dieting | Jun 2009 - Weight Loss | June 2009 - Dieting | May 2009 - Weight Loss |

May 2009 - Dieting | April 2009 - Weight Loss | April 2009 - Dieting | March 2009 - Weight Loss |

Feb 2009 - Weight Loss | Jan 2009 - Weight Loss | Dec 2008 - Weight Loss | Dec 2008 - Diet Programs |

Dec 2008 - Dieting | Dec 2008 - Diets | Nov 2008 - Dieting |

 

(C) Copyright 2010 All rights reserved.