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I caught my boyfriend of 6 months talking to girls on match.com as if he was single.?

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My first question is: I caught my boyfriend of 6 months talking to girls on match.com as if he was single.?.

My next question is: It seems to me that he might be somewhat insecure.  You stated that you are/were a part time model and it may be that he is somewhat surprised that someone that looks like you and as he states "people see that you have a good personality" wants to be with him. Maybe he feels that by putting you down and pointing out other attractive women it makes it seem as if you are lucky to be with him when in reality, he is the one that is lucky to be with you. .

Don't let him make you feel as if you are not beautiful inside and out.

And of course, as a last resort, give him a taste of his own medicine!!  LOL!.

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Comments (11)

Your question was: I caught my boyfriend of 6 months talking to girls on match.com as if he was single.?.

His behavior is very disrespectful.  You *could* give it back to him so he understands what it feels like.  Some men do respond to that.  But, if he has deep insecurity issues he will want you to become as miserable as he is and your actions will not stop him.  If that is the case, then dont give him what he wants and move on...

Comment #1

He may feel uncomfortable about something about your appearance. Find out what his problem is, then fix it. If he still complains about your appearance, then you probably sould move on...

Comment #2

I disagree with any advice that tells you to change yourself to accommodate whatever he doesn't like about you..

Your boyfriend is rude, he's insecure and he's trying to break down your self esteem so you'll stay with him..

Personally I'd kick his sorry behind to the curb and find someone who respected me..

Smile,.

Deirdre..

Comment #3

<< I disagree with any advice that tells you to change yourself to accommodate whatever he doesn't like about you. >>.

Totally!  This guy needs to be given the boot..

To our OP, if you're still reading ... he's insecure ... that is why he acts that way ... and thing is, so are you!   It isn't uncommon for very pretty people to be insecure ... but, as you get older, and gain more confidence (hopefully!) you will find guys like him revolting.   There is nothing that would make me WANT to stay with a guy like the one you describe..

Don't ever find yourself wanting a BF so badly that you're willing to settle for this type of crap..

Good luck!..

Comment #4

I also completely disagree with the poster that said find out what it is he doesn't like and fix it.  You should never change yourself for anyone. .

I also disagree with the notion of "giving him a taste of his own medicine".  That is silly and immature and very rarely ever accomplishes the goal you set out for and just makes you as bad as he is.  Don't sink to that level.  If you don't like what he's doing and you've asked him to stop and he doesn't, then it's time to say buh-bye rather than continuing to put up with unacceptable bahavior..

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Comment #5

This guy has got to go. Men love to drop their favorite hair colors, body weights, clothing styles on us to see if we are so insecure that we'll change everything to accomodate them.  Then they know they have a trained monkey at their side.  I checked my BMI lately and my score was 20 - I am "normal".  I'd love to tone up just a little more (for me..my preference about my appearance) but if you are not the ultra stick thin model type...then he'd like you to starve yourself for him. That's not love. .

On the flip side...if a person is dating (online dating with Match.com) someone outside of their "type" it never works - even if they try to be open and mature...they end up going back to their "type".  Even though that is shallow to some extent...it is what works for that person and they shouldnt deviate from that type..even with the nudging of well-meaning friends...

Comment #6

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Edited 1/21/2008 5:34 pm ET by birdimp..

Comment #7

"I asked again if he was sure I was his type, and finally just blew up and started crying, whereby Mr. Sympathetic remarked that I wasn't the prettiest girl in the world, so just live with it, LOL....alternated remarks like this with ones like "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings, but you're being neurotic". ".

He is just downright rude, immature and lacks class.  Why do you date using Match.com this guy? ..

Comment #8

When I was younger I dated guys like your boyfriend and all that ended up happening was that I was left feeling horrible about myself without a boyfriend. I did what they said, changed to please them, put up with them talking about hot girls etc.  By sticking around and putting up with this all it does is show him that his behavior is ok. And, it's not.  If I could go back I would stop answering my phone with no explanation and move on just as you should. No Man is worth going through something like what you're going through. If he really loved you, you would know that he thinks your the most beautiful girl in his world...no questions asked.

Loose the guy. He's an idiot and you're boosting his ego...

Comment #9

Birdimp, I think you are the prettiest girl in the world..

Comment #10

This guy is awful - if the man you're dating (online dating with Match.com) can't focus on you but has to keep comparing you negatively to others, that's a big red flag! You're right to be concerned..

,..

Comment #11


This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.

 

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