I can't seem to pull up I have tried for several days.?

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My first question is: I can't seem to pull up I have tried for several days.?.

My next question is:  .

Dear dating (online dating with Doyonne:.

I am not getting asked out, but I am not around men very much because I have a sporadic on call workin career and job search, and I don't attend a church on a regular bases.  Plus I feel very overly self-conscientious, that I may embarass myself or being ridiculed in the process.  To top if off, I had a horrible cold father too. How do I get dates, when I feel this way?  How do I let men know that I am interested in them without being underdressed and overly flirty when I don't see them on a regular basis at a place like work or church? Most of my friends are married and have moved away. .


Comments (5)

Your question was: I can't seem to pull up I have tried for several days.?.

Hon, you could be in room full of men and not get asked out if you put out negative vibes and being self-conscious and afraid of making a fool of yourself is a real negative man-repelling vibe.

First things first - work on your self esteem and confidence - this has nothing to do with men - it has to do with how you feel about yourself. If you don't like, love, or respect yourself, no one else ever will. You have to become your own best friend - because you are the only person who will always be with you throughout life.

Take classes or volunteer in ways that take you far outside yoru comfort zone - when you go into something knowing nothing about it there is no fear of looking a fool.  Also, when you put the needs of others in front of your own as in volunteering, you can find things that you are good at - which builds confidence.

You may have a cold father - but he isn't the reason you are shying away from others now - you are. You are so focused on your self. That's what being 'self' conscious means - looking at how you feel rather than how others feel.

There are lots of books on building confidence and esteem. Teh easiest way I know is to find what you are good at use it to your advantage. Until you get comfortable with YOU, no one else will..

Rahter than trying to flirt with men, build a relationship (thru with yourself first - no one can give you the affirmation that you are seeking - it comes from within..


Comment #1

One idea is to network or mix with people (men and women) so you can expand your social circle.  If you are in an environment where people are just being friendly and getting to know each other for a variety of reasons, then you might find it more comfortable than a meatmarket environment.  Men like friendliness so if you just get to know people and express genuine interest you might find someone who responds to that...

Comment #2

Hello sugarbaby_gal:.


Uh huh, I get tongue tied around me or shy, so in what specific ways would you express friendliness or genuine interest, if say they were holding a beverage or cracker in their hands and you know nothing about them?.



Comment #3



I am self-confident and have self-esteem in many areas, but not around men.  I feel like ugly betty without any valuable qualities.  I have taken classes and volunteered..



Comment #4

Well, how do you make small talk around women?  The trick is to not approach your conversations with these men as though they were potential dating (online dating with partners.  In your mind they should just be people.  If you have no vested interest in the conversations leading to a date using then you will just be yourself and then, should you meet the right individuals, you'll see if anything gels naturally...

Comment #5

This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.


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