I am signing myself up for How should I describe myself....very attractive, attractive, a

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My first question is: I am signing myself up for How should I describe myself....very attractive, attractive, a.

My next question is: So I asked this guy to have coffee with me. He said yes and proposed a day and a place. When I asked him what time, he asked for my number and told me he would call me if anything "came up". I saw him two days later and I asked if we were still on. He said yes. We had a chat.

I asked him what time and he said he would call me after five. No call...was he just trying to avoid saying no to my face?..

Comments (14)

Your question was: I am signing myself up for How should I describe myself....very attractive, attractive, a.

He probably meant it when he said it. But if he's this rude and evasive at the outset who needs it? You're well out of it unless he comes up with a great excuse. .


Comment #1

Thanks. I feel the same pretty much. Now my only dilema is that I see him every couple of days and trying to decide how to react next time I see him. I don't think he has a good excuse! ha-ha. I'm not the kind to just avoid him now but I also don't want to just look like a fool...

Comment #2

Hi Ryokineko,.

Welcome to the board!!.

I don't think you will look like a fool.  If anyone does.  He will!!.




Comment #3

Yeah, it seems he didnt want to say "no" to your date using but then he looks like a moron for not actually following through.  If you will end up running in to him in a few days I'd completely ignore his presence if you can.  If you have to encounter him due to work, then be cordial, pleasant and nice...but not warm.  Pretend it never happened and he doesnt matter one iota to you...

Comment #4

Well, I am certainly going to try to do that. But it isn't me really. My nature would go more like, so, what happened the other night huh? then tell him no worries it wasn't a big deal and get on with my life.  I guess it would be easier if we didn't have such definite plans, if he had just said, sure, I'll call you sometime and then I didn't hear from him, that would be different. I just wow, I can't imagine just acting like nothing at all happened. That just seems so odd to me...

Comment #5

I personally wouldn't see the point of asking what happened etc it would just look desperate.  silence is usually much much louder...

Comment #6

I agree.  I don't think calling someone on bad behavior is "desperate", I think it's a sign of someone who stands up for herself!.


Comment #7

Oh yah calling someone out is different.. *that's* better.  I said *asking* what happened was desperate.  there  is NO point whatsoever asking that, imo.  but if someone went up and just said one sentence like "hey nice move not calling, have a nice life, jerkface" then that's awesome. ..

Comment #8

Well, that's not exactly how I would phrase it ;-).  But even if I *asked* what happened, he'd know from my tone that it wasn't just a simple question..


Comment #9

In normal social situations it is fine to deal with that type of situation as you describe - head on.  However, if you are coworkers or related in a business-type fashion it is better to be professional and cool about it so that you dont wedge yourself into a corner from which you cant get out.

Under what conditions will you see him again?..

Comment #10

Thank you Kristie! And you were so right. I saw him today and he did look like a fool, not me. He was incredibly embarrassed while I just acted like, business as usual, no big deal...

Comment #11

Hi hi!Was the 2nd time you saw him the proposed day for the coffee? If so, then what he did was mean, and I wonder if it's a good thing he didn't show up.If not, I think he forgot. As simple and lame as that sounds, it is something that happens to all of us. And I don't think he was avoiding you the first time when you asked him 'what time', because people just don't know their schedules in advance sometimes. The fact that he named a day and place, is pretty promising. If guys don't mean it they would just say 'yea' and run off.If anything, kudos to you for asking him to coffee! And think about if he knows if it was for a date using or just for getting together (so he doesn't realize how important it was to you, remember men can be dense sorry, boys, it's true!)Best,Jeanne..

Comment #12

Allright, so thanks everyone for the input. well, you may have guessed that I am a pretty straightforward person since I asked him to coffee. so I knew that I'd probably be straightforward with him next time I saw him whether it was the right thing to do or not.

We see each other in a social situation, not business or work related. So I saw him today and he was really embarassed. He said he just "for the life" of him couldn't find my #. didn't know what happened to it. right. but I coudl see he wasn't trying to get it again, and I know well enough that when a guy is interested he just doesn't lose your number.  The funny thing is, he didn't have any problem lying about losing my number, seems he couldn't have come up with a reason not to have coffee with me when I asked!.

I didn't even have to say anything, he started apologizing the minute he saw me. he looked like a total idiot, while I looked, I don't know, I think rather cool about the whole thing. I told him not to worry about it.  He looked positvely ready to die. I felt a little sorry for him as I think he is just dumb more than anything else.  I feel much better about it now...

Comment #13

Good for you!! Way to stand strong!!!.

Remember there are lots of good guys out there!!.



Comment #14

This question was taken from a support group/message board and re-posted here so others can learn from it.


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