Hon, you have a CRUSH. And you are blowing this all out of proportion. He sounds like he's just a flirty guy and you have ZERO right to get pissy about him talking or flirting with anyone. He's probably confused about you getting so huffy because he has NO idea why you'd be getting huffy when there is nothing going on between you. It SHOULD confuse him because you are just a woman he works with and is friendly and maybe a little flirty with. That's it. Nothing more. He hasn't asked you out. So what if he bought you lunch? I've bought lunch for friends before and refused to be paid back. It's just being nice..
The way you get through this is you just cool it. You cannot go out with him until May at the earliest and even then, who knows if he's even interested in going out with you. He hasn't really given any kind of indication that he is because his flirting really means nothing as 1) he seems to flirt with many women including students 2) he hasn't even followed up on emailing you and 3) he's your coworker.
And lastly, you are still married according to your other post. .
The reason he's not taking steps forward to dating (online dating with Match.com) you is because he doesn't want to date using Match.com you. At least not right now. You seem really angry at other women for flirting with him, why is that? You're doing a whole lot of game-playing yourself and if you don't tell this guy how you feel, you really don't have a lot of right to be angry. Maybe if you are straightforward with him and tell him you're interested, he'll return your interest and then in May you can pursue something if that's what you both want. Otherwise, why wait around and smolder while other people hit on him?Leslie, "bitchy" comments about other women don't look good for you. It's really not an attractive way to be. I hope you can put that aside and either step up to tell him you are interested in him, or just ignore your crush as much as you can for the time being.Can I ask in what context he told you he didn't want to date using Match.com anyone at work?..
He was talking about other guys that have gotten "too caught up" with the dorm students in past years. This is a company violation for them...
Update I am in the process of a divorce now. and moving forward with my life.
I appreciate your comment but you seem to be very bitter in giving advice..
Are you Ok????.
Ah. Then he wouldn't be able to date using Match.com you now even if he wanted to...
I appreciate the "concern". I am perfectly fine. I just get annoyed when people come out here a week after asking a question and ask basically the same question all over again completely disregarding any advice they received previously. .
You have a crush. On a guy who flirts and talks with a lot of women, including you. At this point, even if he was interested in you, neither of you can act on it. You need to be an adult and stop getting pouty and pissy when this guy talks to other women - it is NOT attractive for a woman to be getting jealous over a guy she's not even dating. You need to put your feelings completely on hold until May. In May when you leave your position and it is no longer forbidden for you to date, you can express interest. But until such time, stop acting like a spoiled little girl who throws a tantrum when she doesn't get her way. He can speak to anyone he wants to because he's not your boyfriend or even your date. If you keep it up for the next 5 months, he's not going to want to date using Match.com you because he's going to think you are a crazy psycho..
Exactly, undercover crab. His behavior from week to week is the thing that keeps me going. he probably thinks I am not very forward in initiating anything or at least expressing it..
After I made the comment (in which I was smiling when I said it but know was wrong through my own self reflection. )We talked for another hour and then walked to the train together after he got off work. He also reminded me of a Christmas food item that he planned to bring me next week at work.
He really seemed to be wanting to get back in my good graces after I made the comment and I was then really confused. I felt like he was feeling guilty in some weird way. His behavior was really odd. My question is Why was he so concerned about how I reacted and felt?.
I know the proof will be the actual words that come out of his mouth if it is meant for anything to happen..
I plan to volunteer and contribute to my community to take the focus off myself.
I also would like to more men so that he is not the sole focus of my attention. I am also working on jealously issues..
It's very possible his feelings toward you are more than platonic (or more than just flirt-worthy), but if he feels that way, he's probably hesitant to tell you because nothing could really come of it.That's a tough spot for you both, if it is the case. Short of telling him that you'd be interested in seeing what happens in May and then going on with your lives until then (also not an easy solution), I'm not sure what to tell you. Does he flirt back with these women?..
Good point I don't want to scare him off based on my illusions. I will distance myself more from him but when I have attempted this in the past to try to not seem too anxious by getting on the phone calling a friend he will come to visit me and be curious about who I was talking to.I never do this with him.
or he will just come by to see what I am up to if I am out of his sight too long and reading a magazine to make myself look busy. We enjoy each others company and conversation and are used to it. It's not all one sided believe me.
We just work across the hall from each other and can hear each others conversations.
The reason why I may seem to be asking the same questions is he gives me new material every week to write about.
He definitely likes me as a friend and has told me he wants to keep up with me after my contract ends..
So I will continue to be patient and focus on other constructive things.
Well I don't really know because I have restrained myself from coming in to his work area when he was talking to the 1st girl a couple of months ago and he went on to tell me how he turned her down after she asked him out. That time he over explained the situation to me without me asking.
I did witness the conversation though..
The girl recently had her boyfriend come over and spend the night and no longer says hello to my co-worker. This other girl is putting the moves on him now in a subtle way by bringing him coffee..
He told me he is not interested in these girls and likes his job security more.
It's like he does not want any rumor to get back to me or have me suspect anything. Which would not happen because I don't talk to any of the dorm students in a personal way or my co-workers. He does not know this. My thing is why does he feel as though he needs to explain things to me?.
he may very well tell me about the 2nd girl and their conversation from last week also next week if she passes by or he may just bring it up out of what I felt was guilt on his part (I may be wrong about the guilt).
I don't know what happens on the day of we don't work together. We are both part-time..
Yes the situation is difficult but like I told the other lady that posed a comment to me.
I will attempt to distance myself from him without being too obvious but he does seek me out during the night if I am in my bosses office reading or on the phone. On the flip side of that I feel life is too short for games and we enjoy each others company..
But being on the phone is hard to occupy my time because who can you call at 2am really?.