"It is just so convenient for him to be with her during the day and come home to me at night": weird. doesn't he have a job?.
Well, you expressed how you felt and it doesn't sound like he's going to or wants to change his behavior. so you can either accept that he spends all that time there or not..
I personally wouldn't like it either if he was spending so much time with another girl like that. ..
He just moved here and hasn't found a job yet. he works online only 10 hrs a week right now...
This would bug the crap out of me too and I don't have a jealous bone in my body. The previous responder is right, you did the best thing which was lay out your feelings to him and he isn't changing. It's time to get out of this sorry excuse for a relationship, because it seems this girl is going to be his #1 priority and until he's willing to either back off from her or just decide to marry her already, he won't be able to have much of a relationship (thru Match.com) with anyone else...
For me, either party having opposite sex friends (especially as close as your bfs) , spells trouble in a relationship. Both parties get to compensate for what is missing in their romantic relationship (thru Match.com) with their opposite sex friends instead of making their bf/gf or husband/wife the sole provider of those feel-good feelings that should come from the opposite sex..
It's a values system thing - and if your bf's values are different from yours - it could mean that you dont get to resolve this issue without resentment...
I agree with Sugarbaby gal. I am in a similar situation with my boyfriend of 10 mths. When my boyfriend moved in with me, it was from his "flatmates" house, who happens to be his best friend and they lived together for 5 years (who I later found out he had a crush on)..
He also would arrive home at 10pm, after having been visiting one of his many friends. I call them the Stetford wives, but she wasn't in that group initially. He had many friends to meet his different needs, and there really wasn't much room for me. We talked about it, he said initially he wasn't looking for a relationship, so there was no room for me, but gradually he has made more room. It's like sugar baby said, getting his needs met outside the relationship, which doesn't help you grow together, too easy to talk to the best friend because they are so familiar with each other. This is what they call Emotional Intimacy and it takes time. I think there is a transition period, while he learns how to be comfortable with you. You have to take steps towards spending more time together, talking and enjoying each others company, eventually you should be your partners best friend..
As I work in psychology and have had one failed marriage, I have done a lot of reading in attempt not to make the same mistakes... I talked about the best friend thing with my boyfriend, and like yours, he told her, so now she thinks I'm some sort of paranoid nutter, which is what I was starting to feel like lol. I don't hate her, she has actually done me some favours as he is quite familiar with parenting (she had a kid and I have kids) and helped him in many other ways, which I admire... Have to admit I was angry that he would tell her I was paranoid, so I confronted him and said if he was truly honest, he would understand my insecurity and not mock me for it. What I did hate was not being number 1 lol.
In my situation, I left the country and he followed. We couldn't have survived with the stetford wives living in our pockets. Now we are on a path to meet each others needs, I feel a lot better about this. I would not be happy about other people meeting my partners needs. .